A Mens' Group

The new year always brings hope and a new confidence.
Rob is enjoying his career in the company but has a sense of unease because of all the changes that are occurring. He has a feeling that the activities do not make sense. Responses to his questions are strange, the new company direction is contrived and the actions of the managers can be called into question. With the new ownership of the company by a large international entity, the basic philosophy of the company has changed from service focused to profit directed. Rob’s direction is based on the belief that profit comes from giving good service with a great product. The new thinking seems that profit is first and foremost with service given as a secondary consideration. Early in January, Rob spoke with his manager about moving into the commercial sales division since he has proven himself for so many years in the residential sales area. The stability of income and the new challenge required in the commercial division would give Rob a sense of security that he so badly needs at the moment.
The group of men continues to meet through the months with attention given to personal issues , vacations and work combined with the quietness that the months of January and February create.
Jeff has still not come to terms with the relationship with the two women in his life. Neither woman is making it easy for him to be in control.
February
Events have occurred that are creating a need for Rob to evaluate his view of life. He accepted the offer by his manager to work in the commercial division of the company. After several successful weeks, his manager said that the top managers informed him this was not acceptable because of Rob’s low residential sales numbers in the previous few months. They went on to say that if quotas were not reached; Rob would be released. Rob’s manager made a point of reinforcing the company directive that profit was paramount in their company policy and service was secondary. To Rob, it was clear that the two different philosophies in dealing with the purchasing public could not be made to work together. After several agonizing days Rob had made a decision.
While coming to terms with what he believed in; Rob discovered that he was defining himself by what he did and not by who he was. He had a good feeling that he knew who he was and now had the chance to prove it. He decided that after all the years of work he was going to “retire” and do “nothing”. He was no longer having fun working at the company.
When he mentioned this some people, what he was going to do, most said that it was not possible. Susan said that it was a great idea and fully supported the notion. Taking charge of the situation and combined with the anger that “they can’t fire me, he would quit first” Rob moved into a new era in his life.
April
After 12 years with the company, Rob handed in his resignation. The company had suggested dissatisfaction with his performance to the extent that he would be let go if he did not meet their expectations soon. With a set of expectations in view of his long term employment he was now in negotiations with the company. The prospect of finding new employment is of little concern to him.
He was looking forward to spending some time doing very little. He was looking forward to doing what he wanted to do, that which was important to him. The possibility of not working would mean that he would have to slow down and enjoy a completely new way of living. The money would be of no concern.
Susan was of enormous help to him in getting through those days.
The men in the group were all supportive and help full in a variety of ways. The reaction from Derek, a long time friend, was pleasant and reassuring.
Rob’s mind was busy considering all the possibilities that are available to him in the future. He was surprised that people had some understanding, although a lot of them thought that what he was doing was really crazy.
Some of them were unwilling to even consider making a change in their own lives to achieve what they want. The sacrifice that they are making to stay where they are and have what they want is not so great that it is an unbearable burden. Some of them looked in wonder at Rob, and could not really understand what he was doing. Cheryl has been very supportive with her phone calls making sure that Rob am all right.
On another front, Shirley is gaining strength in her own battle with her company that is causing a problem in her life. Hopefully I can give her some strength by showing her that the world does not end when you stand up for your beliefs and rights. She is strong and will do just fine.
Dana and Cory seem to taking it is stride, although I imagine they are talking and comparing notes. Dana is hitting his stride in the entertainment business with more and more work, developing more skills and gaining more confidence in what he has to offer. I feel good that the Dana’s and Linda’s car is finally safe, secure and insured for the streets. It would seem to be an important event in their life. The car will make it easier to gain access to their jobs and ultimately their goals in life. Linda is getting a job soon and this should ease some of the money concerns.
Cory is finally permanent at his job and will receive a raise and have access to the benefit package that the company has created. He has been at the job for three months and has proven to be an asset to the company. His work in the graphic design area is starting to pay off with contracts to design graphics for t- shirts and vehicles. Cory’s work with Gregg continues, but I do not see and move to the USA any time in the near future.
April
A week and a half since Rob stopped working for the company. A multitude of emotions have passed through him. The first week was covered by pure exhaustion and a need to continue to define himself with work. Trying to keep busy to ward off the feeling of panic, the questions present themselves; what if he did the wrong thing, most of time he is sure that he is doing the correct thing. He builds himself up by thinking of the envy that people show when they hear that he is retiring. Many different attitudes come from the people who are concerned in different ways about money and what they really want to do with their life. He has done the rounds with his contacts in the building industry to let them know that he was no longer with the company.
He will let his belief in himself create the direction of his future.
Playing squash with Warren has created a release for his energy and a sense of stability in his life.
Susan has had the flu for several days and has been unable to play racquetball with Rob although they spent the time chatting over coffee and a cookie.
Rob spent some money on a printer, shoes and a work station for himself, a small reward for the time and effort he worked and for making the hard decision to continue to stay in control of his life.
As these events continue, Rob has managed to sort the situation out and has come to a better understanding of his limitations and abilities.
The company staff has set up a small get together after work for the company staff who wanted to show up and say goodbye to Rob. Rob was quite moved when Steve presenting a gift (a Zippo lighter) from himself. The group gave Rob a card with some very nice sayings. It was evident that some of the people stayed the polite required time, said their good byes and moved on, they had work to do. At the end of the evening several close co workers and Rob remained talking of small events that had occurred in the office. They were determined to stay till mid night and make an evening out of it. Rob left with a hug from each of them.
Because of the many years of contributing to Unemployment Insurance, Rob applied for employment insurance to obtain the benefits he was entitled too. Some of the process was very good, some was quite disturbing. Now he would wait and see if his claim was accepted.
Rob, with Warren’s help, passed on to the company a letter demanding a compensation package for the years worked and the unfair working conditions that forced his resignation. He had nothing to lose.
The group has continued to meet. Jeff has not been present for at least two months; Jim is nowhere to be seen. Michel has made great strides in controlling his work time work load, alone with the personal issue of dieting. Hector and his wife are coming to point where she is moving into a home she has purchased, he keeps his home and their lives become a lot more stable. This will bring great benefits to their children.
Rob feels very pleased for him and his success. Warren has started to work. Along with playing squash he has relaxed to a level that has him in a comfort zone that is new to him. Rob knows most of the time that what he is doing is correct, though sometimes craves the cover of the masses. Rob knows that his ability to be successful at whatever he chooses is a certainty. Time moves along with out any help and all Rob has to remember to do is breath.
Many people have thought Rob has done strange things in his life and this is just another example. Since his strange activities are of no great concern to them except in passing, they view the activities as only something to gossip about.
Dana and Linda are doing well, although Dana continues to bring out the father protectiveness in me when he talks of car racing and exploring more of life. I try to pass on him that it is alright to consider different things and my comments are just “father” responses. I am very pleased that he will share with me his hopes and desires. Mother is well, unhappy with her children at different times during the months. Gillian has talked to us all about the family reunion in July. She is surprised that her enthusiasm and energy were not more warmly received by the rest of the family. People do find her quite overwhelming, but she does it out of the goodness of her heart, along with the need to have most things done perfectly. She wants to make sure that even the smallest of events are celebrated to the fullest extent.
Cheryl is settling into her new job, spending money under stress but has the desire to stay in one place to stabilize her life with her son TJ and with her new found love- Andrew. She has redirected her energies now that she has grown a little older and a little more mature.
Life continues; a new phase is upon Rob. It was pleasing for Rob to feel that his friends care and are concerned about what is happening in his life. This is not something that he knew for sure in his heart.
The future is what we crave to see; but yet most of us only dare to peek at if we are given the opportunity.