Sunday, August 14, 2005
Possibilities
Tuesday, Aug /00
The weather is cool and rainy, feels like an October autumn day.
The day was spent reading a Pat Cornwell novel at the book store coffee shop.
Played squash with Warren, we each won three games, followed by supper with a discussion of his current relationship with Sally. There has been some change in his feelings in regard to what he desires in their relationship after his car trip with her to Victoria. He is looking for change; she is still unsure what that will mean to her state of mind and stability.
Cory is off to Toronto on Tuesday, to begin a new career in the big city. I am almost as excited as he is.
Dana is looking forward to seeing his brother again after a year apart. Things were moved up two weeks because we all wanted this to happen sooner. I will miss him. The time will come when I will travel to the big city of Toronto to see both of my sons. Gillian, Cory’s aunt, is looking forward to having him stay at her home.
I received a response to some faxes I sent out. Andy of an Aircraft sales company called to say that he had no need for paid help at the moment but would keep my file on hand. I will try to drop by his office tomorrow to offer some of my free time at his business to gain a better understanding of the industry.
Over the past several weeks, I have spent some time helping Derek on his house painting the outside of the house. The house has a homey feel about it with the finishing touches coming along nicely.
While talking with Derek, I learned that his life and work is very stressful at the moment and has caused him some sleepless nights. I wish him well and hope that he can maintain a balance that will make his life happier and more content. Viola is dealing well with the death of her eldest brother. They will be attending the funeral during the long week of September.
The Men's group moves along, with Jeff still absent.
Hector and his two boys are occupying his house with a feeling of contentment that they did not have last year. He is surprised by the quick change of events. He could not have imagined last year; that he would be in such a great state of mind.
Peter has come to terms, for the time being, with his wife’s inability to "get it".
Warren has been away over the past several weeks attending to business.
Everett espouses a new positive view of business and life, perhaps too easy. What he says is not congruent with the other energies that emanate from him.
I continue to relax and enjoy the slowness of the days that come from being away from work.
My time spent with Susan has been very quiet and peaceful.
Nov 2000
No words were written as nothing important seems to have happened. This is not true because much has happened, but the time to write did not seem appropriate.
Laziness or perhaps the unwillingness to give credence to events as they have occurred have prevented me from writing.
I am embraced by the sun and mild November temperatures. After last week’s snow with overcast, this is a pleasant change. The forecast suggests this will continue until Jan when we will be covered with many layers of snow.
Susan's journey to live without smoking continues into her second month. She struggles with the decision, although, the struggles might be with greater issues in her life. She is of good and bad humor and she goes out of her way to make apologies for her angry and moody times She tried to accomplish the cessation of her smoking with the use of the drug Zyban, but came to the conclusion that her chemical make up was disrupted to much to continue with the drug. With the drug leaving her system quickly over a short period of time she soon returned to a stable equilibrium. Her questioning of what she is hoping to accomplish has her questioning most other pasts of her life, me included. She is careful to inform me of the fact that she loves me but is not in love with me, something that she would like to happen to her. Oh well. I feel a little confused since I never expected life to be this complicated with her.
Her relationship with her Holly grows stronger as time progresses. Her grand-son, Mathew, is the love of her life, because Susan is such a great grand mother.
The men's group continues to meet every Thursday at the coffee shop.
Regrettable, neither Jim nor Jeff have not shown up for the last six months.
Hector is a consistent member attending faithfully sharing his marital and parental stories with us. His separation and subsequent disassociation from his wife has made Hector feel better physically and emotionally. His children are beginning to relax and behave in a normal fashion. The stress that they lived with during the previous years has affected them in a negative fashion.
Warren is working again. The slow development of his internet site has created some stress and discomfort in his life, resulting in back problems and muscle spasms. He has recognized these adverse effects and has taken steps to rectify the situation.
Michel is continuing to gain a better understanding of how he interacts with his wife. The long term business course he completed recently, has enabled him to create a realistic direction for his construction business. He seems to be more aware of how he talks and relates to Louise; now that he understands more of what the group is saying. He has had several “light bulb” moments over the last several months.
Peter, after struggling with his wife's over commitment to her work and his perceived lose of affection and attention, stated his feelings to her. She responded and now they are comfortable discussing the situation. Each has confronted the fear that the other will leave in the spur of the moment.
Jeff, we are told, is fully committed to getting a divorce from his wife and is dealing with all the associated problems and discussions. Nora has become a major part of his life and family. Apart from Jeff’s occasional lunch with Warren we have no other information as to what is happening in Jeff’s life. We respect his decision to stay in his own world and feel that he will reappear when he comfortable.
Jim continues to be associated with the "church group" he told us about. I would suspect that his search for the perfect woman continues until she becomes too interested in him.
I have made it though October, by being aware of the effect that this month has on me, with the help of Susan.
She is quite the gem.
My search for work continues without much success. It is becoming apparent that the sales and marketing of aviation products is a very small field. I have talked to a number of industry companies, investigated numerous other job opportunities but have found limited opportunities. My job search in this area will continue until the end of Feb. and at that time I will evaluate the direction I am proceeding in. With my increasing job searches on the internet I am becoming quite adept at chasing the job market. I continue to have complete faith that the perfect career opportunity will present itself.
With two more night flights I will be checked out for my night rating. The weather has been clear and beautiful with the promise that my instructor, Christine and I will complete the required flight time. With these successfully accomplished I will be able to fly at night by myself.
Cory is doing very well in Toronto, with more work that he can handle. He is very active is searching out more and better job opportunities by chasing the more complicated jobs in his computer field.
Dana is going in for knee surgery today. Arthroscopic surgery should fix the knee problems he has been having for the last many years.
Susan and I had brunch with Fred and Sue on Sunday. They are looking great. Both of them are anticipating the arrival of their grand-child, compliments of their daughter, Kelsey. Fred is a little leary of the new relationship that he will have with Kelsey's boyfriend but he will be able to handle it without to much difficulty, I feel.
The acceptance on my part to do nothing and still accept money has been a revelation to me. I have always based my worth on payment of some sort. Over the past many years that payment has been money. Now I am more aware that money has very little to do with my self worth. I was not aware of this before I did this “retirement” thing. Finding something to do during this time frame has not been too difficult for me, although it has been very difficult for others around me. Well, those are their problems not mine. Sometimes the fear that I will never work again, or be valued is apparent, but not to such a degree that I am immobilized by it. I feel there is a future that I am still not aware of, but will make it known at the appropriate time.
My confidence has increased to such a level that flying has become for me, a great pleasure and experience. It is truly enjoyable. I am very aware and comfortable in the air. I know what is happening and am confident that I will do the correct things. This to me is a very pleasant experience, something I have not known for a very long time. Susan's comments to me about my not being "in love" with her has been unsettling. I respect her honesty and comfortable level with me. It is nice to know that kind of comfort from another person and it is something I would not like to lose. We shall see what happens in the future.
Saw Arlene in the course of working for Ray's campaign. She was pretty as always, but I had no great interest in any follow up conversation.
This was a surprise considering the emotions that were present during our previous encounters. I am not even interested in how she is viewing our meeting. I hope that she is well and happy in her life, although I do not think she has come to terms with the demons that she carries with her. It was nice to know that her mother was well. With her sister and brother in law moving to the US, Arlene will not have the torment that her sister brought to their relationship. I would suppose that the caustic statements still can be made over the long physical distance.
Late December
Time has passed quickly with events standing the test of time.
The federal election is over. The Federal Liberals winning another majority government, the Alliance Party hardly making a mark on the elective thoughts of the voters.
My search for a career in the aviation industry continues but the opportunities are becoming fewer and fewer. The position of dispatcher was advertised so I talked to Dave at Morningstar and dropped off an application. He was nice and there is a possibility of a position in the future. I have also sent out some applications for other sales jobs.
I had the radio removed from Cory's truck and re advertised it for two more weeks.
I did some volunteer work for the Christmas bureau Monday, Tuesday and Friday. The volunteers involved have quite the wide array of stories.
Susan continues to struggle with her decision to quit smoking. She is on an anti depressant and continues to see a social worker that is provided by work. Last week she had an appointment with a psychologist that she has seen before. The session went quite well. With her belief in this person, Susan trusted what she heard more than other comments that were made to her by other people in her life. Today she was informed that her brother may have some type of skin cancer. Also her ex sister-in law, Janet may have colon cancer, although Janet has a history of histrionics and may just be anticipating this illness. Hopefully neither medical problem will have a negative effect on either of them.
Susan's loss of smoking still has her confused and erratic. Dealing with her confusion has created a certain amount of fatigue in our relationship, especially in me. I am getting quite tired of these ups and downs with the emotional and physical distance that is there between us. I have stepped back a little to give her room as well as giving myself room, should she decide to back off further. The end of my EI has me concerned; I am not to certain whether it ends in December or in Jan. I should have asked, Oh well it will end when it ends.
I have managed too complete my night rating this last week, so that is something else I have been able to claim my fame to.
The weather is cool and rainy, feels like an October autumn day.
The day was spent reading a Pat Cornwell novel at the book store coffee shop.
Played squash with Warren, we each won three games, followed by supper with a discussion of his current relationship with Sally. There has been some change in his feelings in regard to what he desires in their relationship after his car trip with her to Victoria. He is looking for change; she is still unsure what that will mean to her state of mind and stability.
Cory is off to Toronto on Tuesday, to begin a new career in the big city. I am almost as excited as he is.
Dana is looking forward to seeing his brother again after a year apart. Things were moved up two weeks because we all wanted this to happen sooner. I will miss him. The time will come when I will travel to the big city of Toronto to see both of my sons. Gillian, Cory’s aunt, is looking forward to having him stay at her home.
I received a response to some faxes I sent out. Andy of an Aircraft sales company called to say that he had no need for paid help at the moment but would keep my file on hand. I will try to drop by his office tomorrow to offer some of my free time at his business to gain a better understanding of the industry.
Over the past several weeks, I have spent some time helping Derek on his house painting the outside of the house. The house has a homey feel about it with the finishing touches coming along nicely.
While talking with Derek, I learned that his life and work is very stressful at the moment and has caused him some sleepless nights. I wish him well and hope that he can maintain a balance that will make his life happier and more content. Viola is dealing well with the death of her eldest brother. They will be attending the funeral during the long week of September.
The Men's group moves along, with Jeff still absent.
Hector and his two boys are occupying his house with a feeling of contentment that they did not have last year. He is surprised by the quick change of events. He could not have imagined last year; that he would be in such a great state of mind.
Peter has come to terms, for the time being, with his wife’s inability to "get it".
Warren has been away over the past several weeks attending to business.
Everett espouses a new positive view of business and life, perhaps too easy. What he says is not congruent with the other energies that emanate from him.
I continue to relax and enjoy the slowness of the days that come from being away from work.
My time spent with Susan has been very quiet and peaceful.
Nov 2000
No words were written as nothing important seems to have happened. This is not true because much has happened, but the time to write did not seem appropriate.
Laziness or perhaps the unwillingness to give credence to events as they have occurred have prevented me from writing.
I am embraced by the sun and mild November temperatures. After last week’s snow with overcast, this is a pleasant change. The forecast suggests this will continue until Jan when we will be covered with many layers of snow.
Susan's journey to live without smoking continues into her second month. She struggles with the decision, although, the struggles might be with greater issues in her life. She is of good and bad humor and she goes out of her way to make apologies for her angry and moody times She tried to accomplish the cessation of her smoking with the use of the drug Zyban, but came to the conclusion that her chemical make up was disrupted to much to continue with the drug. With the drug leaving her system quickly over a short period of time she soon returned to a stable equilibrium. Her questioning of what she is hoping to accomplish has her questioning most other pasts of her life, me included. She is careful to inform me of the fact that she loves me but is not in love with me, something that she would like to happen to her. Oh well. I feel a little confused since I never expected life to be this complicated with her.
Her relationship with her Holly grows stronger as time progresses. Her grand-son, Mathew, is the love of her life, because Susan is such a great grand mother.
The men's group continues to meet every Thursday at the coffee shop.
Regrettable, neither Jim nor Jeff have not shown up for the last six months.
Hector is a consistent member attending faithfully sharing his marital and parental stories with us. His separation and subsequent disassociation from his wife has made Hector feel better physically and emotionally. His children are beginning to relax and behave in a normal fashion. The stress that they lived with during the previous years has affected them in a negative fashion.
Warren is working again. The slow development of his internet site has created some stress and discomfort in his life, resulting in back problems and muscle spasms. He has recognized these adverse effects and has taken steps to rectify the situation.
Michel is continuing to gain a better understanding of how he interacts with his wife. The long term business course he completed recently, has enabled him to create a realistic direction for his construction business. He seems to be more aware of how he talks and relates to Louise; now that he understands more of what the group is saying. He has had several “light bulb” moments over the last several months.
Peter, after struggling with his wife's over commitment to her work and his perceived lose of affection and attention, stated his feelings to her. She responded and now they are comfortable discussing the situation. Each has confronted the fear that the other will leave in the spur of the moment.
Jeff, we are told, is fully committed to getting a divorce from his wife and is dealing with all the associated problems and discussions. Nora has become a major part of his life and family. Apart from Jeff’s occasional lunch with Warren we have no other information as to what is happening in Jeff’s life. We respect his decision to stay in his own world and feel that he will reappear when he comfortable.
Jim continues to be associated with the "church group" he told us about. I would suspect that his search for the perfect woman continues until she becomes too interested in him.
I have made it though October, by being aware of the effect that this month has on me, with the help of Susan.
She is quite the gem.
My search for work continues without much success. It is becoming apparent that the sales and marketing of aviation products is a very small field. I have talked to a number of industry companies, investigated numerous other job opportunities but have found limited opportunities. My job search in this area will continue until the end of Feb. and at that time I will evaluate the direction I am proceeding in. With my increasing job searches on the internet I am becoming quite adept at chasing the job market. I continue to have complete faith that the perfect career opportunity will present itself.
With two more night flights I will be checked out for my night rating. The weather has been clear and beautiful with the promise that my instructor, Christine and I will complete the required flight time. With these successfully accomplished I will be able to fly at night by myself.
Cory is doing very well in Toronto, with more work that he can handle. He is very active is searching out more and better job opportunities by chasing the more complicated jobs in his computer field.
Dana is going in for knee surgery today. Arthroscopic surgery should fix the knee problems he has been having for the last many years.
Susan and I had brunch with Fred and Sue on Sunday. They are looking great. Both of them are anticipating the arrival of their grand-child, compliments of their daughter, Kelsey. Fred is a little leary of the new relationship that he will have with Kelsey's boyfriend but he will be able to handle it without to much difficulty, I feel.
The acceptance on my part to do nothing and still accept money has been a revelation to me. I have always based my worth on payment of some sort. Over the past many years that payment has been money. Now I am more aware that money has very little to do with my self worth. I was not aware of this before I did this “retirement” thing. Finding something to do during this time frame has not been too difficult for me, although it has been very difficult for others around me. Well, those are their problems not mine. Sometimes the fear that I will never work again, or be valued is apparent, but not to such a degree that I am immobilized by it. I feel there is a future that I am still not aware of, but will make it known at the appropriate time.
My confidence has increased to such a level that flying has become for me, a great pleasure and experience. It is truly enjoyable. I am very aware and comfortable in the air. I know what is happening and am confident that I will do the correct things. This to me is a very pleasant experience, something I have not known for a very long time. Susan's comments to me about my not being "in love" with her has been unsettling. I respect her honesty and comfortable level with me. It is nice to know that kind of comfort from another person and it is something I would not like to lose. We shall see what happens in the future.
Saw Arlene in the course of working for Ray's campaign. She was pretty as always, but I had no great interest in any follow up conversation.
This was a surprise considering the emotions that were present during our previous encounters. I am not even interested in how she is viewing our meeting. I hope that she is well and happy in her life, although I do not think she has come to terms with the demons that she carries with her. It was nice to know that her mother was well. With her sister and brother in law moving to the US, Arlene will not have the torment that her sister brought to their relationship. I would suppose that the caustic statements still can be made over the long physical distance.
Late December
Time has passed quickly with events standing the test of time.
The federal election is over. The Federal Liberals winning another majority government, the Alliance Party hardly making a mark on the elective thoughts of the voters.
My search for a career in the aviation industry continues but the opportunities are becoming fewer and fewer. The position of dispatcher was advertised so I talked to Dave at Morningstar and dropped off an application. He was nice and there is a possibility of a position in the future. I have also sent out some applications for other sales jobs.
I had the radio removed from Cory's truck and re advertised it for two more weeks.
I did some volunteer work for the Christmas bureau Monday, Tuesday and Friday. The volunteers involved have quite the wide array of stories.
Susan continues to struggle with her decision to quit smoking. She is on an anti depressant and continues to see a social worker that is provided by work. Last week she had an appointment with a psychologist that she has seen before. The session went quite well. With her belief in this person, Susan trusted what she heard more than other comments that were made to her by other people in her life. Today she was informed that her brother may have some type of skin cancer. Also her ex sister-in law, Janet may have colon cancer, although Janet has a history of histrionics and may just be anticipating this illness. Hopefully neither medical problem will have a negative effect on either of them.
Susan's loss of smoking still has her confused and erratic. Dealing with her confusion has created a certain amount of fatigue in our relationship, especially in me. I am getting quite tired of these ups and downs with the emotional and physical distance that is there between us. I have stepped back a little to give her room as well as giving myself room, should she decide to back off further. The end of my EI has me concerned; I am not to certain whether it ends in December or in Jan. I should have asked, Oh well it will end when it ends.
I have managed too complete my night rating this last week, so that is something else I have been able to claim my fame to.
# posted by A Mens' Group @ 11:18 AM 
