Sunday, September 04, 2005
Hope Springs Eternal
Feb.14, Valentine's Day
I am back from my two week stay in Toronto and sitting in the Rock Solid Show home today.
I felt good coming back and having Susan in my presence.
Dana and Cory are doing well and moving ahead with their lives and dreams.
Dana is struggling with the lack of available work over the past month but is more driven and calculating in his search for work this year.
Cory continues to express his frustration with his boss and their decisions but likes the people he works with and the work he does. He continues to work for Greg in the car design division. On the personal side they both said their girlfriends are interesting and interested in them which makes for easy relationships.
Dana and I talked about what happened and how his relationship ended with Linda. He made it clear that the process they chose was a difficult way to end a close relationship. But that is something that happens to all of us as we go through life. I am confident that Dana and Linda will both be stronger for it.
Gillian on the other hand continues to struggle with the many difficulties in her life. Her desire to control and take control of events and people in her life, without having the power and tools to make these decisions, has her very confused. She is at least, aware and is discussing her drinking, falling asleep and her habit of not remembering the previous night's activities. She is taking some steps to regain proper eating and drinking habits by enrolling in weight watchers group. Val, a long time friend of Gillian’s, and I talked about my concerns with Gillian's activities. Val said she would try to be more aware of Gillian's activities and try to intervene when necessary.
Jason continues to employ shock tactics with his mother. He certainly is going out of his way to remain a child. Gillian cannot understand why he is doing such things.
Simon and Kathy have gotten engaged this last weekend. Everyone is very happy for them. Kathy's mother is on top of the world and already starting to worry about all the problems that might occur during the upcoming wedding. The happy couple is determined to be in charge of the majority of planning and direction of their wedding. I am quite confident that they will be able to achieve the wedding that they desire.
Fred and Sue are a little concerned about their daughter, Kelsey’s pregnancy. Kelsey's baby has not arrived yet although it is not due till Saturday, Feb 17. Susan, Kelsey’s mother, should be back from Vancouver just in time to become a grandparent, I am sure that Fred will be a superb grandfather.
Susan and Holly are getting along well again, although there was some sort of dispute between Holly and her husband when I was in Toronto.
Susan C.’s son, Luke and his girlfriend, Amanda are in love and displaying all the emotional and physical signs that put them in another world.
I have arranged an interview with a head hunter company this Friday, to talk about a sales position with a company that sells floor tile. They were quite interested in me and their offer over the phone excited me. I will follow up to get a complete understanding of what the job is and what is being offered. This house sitting job is OK but as a long term profession I do not think that it is something that has much potential.
Anyway, I am just back from my holiday in Toronto, a little disoriented and longing to see Susan so I will not make any decisions for at least a week.
Warren has been in Europe for about two weeks and should be returning at the end of this week, we should be able to continue playing squash when he gets settled in.
I have not been at the men's group for about three weeks and won't be able to make it this week. I am sure every one is getting along quite well and striving to ensure that their lives are just fine. With all of us getting busier with different work schedules, the weekly group meeting will have a different dynamic. Michele should be doing fine with his new outlook on life along with the success of his business.
I am really concerned with Gillian and her inability to take control of herself. She is getting older and less able physically and mentally to cope with the stresses of life. I am concerned that she will come have a physical or emotional breakdown that will drastically change her life. Losing any physical ability would be extremely frustrating for her. I will be better able to judge how she is progressing when she arrives here for her friend’s wedding in March. She should have a chance to create a new routine in her life before then.
Tuesday, Feb 20
The day is sunny and getting warmer. The winds are blowing in from the south keeping the temperature around -5.
Work at Rock Solid Homes continues on an hourly rate that enables me to get some reading and paperwork in. I should have enough hours in this month to allow me to get by.
The interview with Brenda, the head hunter, went well with a promise from her to set up a meeting with the manager of the company later on this week. I am a little worried about what my ex-manager might say that is different from what is on my resume. The differences will be small but I do not know what effect they will have on Brenda and her company. Oh well, if the job is to be it will be.
Getting work is not a problem I assured mother. We met with Grace and her boys for breakfast on Monday, so I could deliver the clothes that Gillian sent to Grace. It was a good time with Adam the oldest son, impressing me with how grown up he has become.
Gillian continues her diet, losing weight and getting comfortable with her new life style.
I talked to Dana; he has had no further work after the Monday that he worked with Jason.
Cory has been working many hours trying to catch up to his spending levels. The specialty course that he enrolled in was postponed for two weeks. I'm glad that he is always so enthusiastic about his work.
Luke is on holidays this last week on a cruise down beside south so I have been spending the nights with Susan. Staying the night with her has caused some adjustment in both our lifestyles. I thing it would take some getting used to if we moved in together on a permanent basis. The dogs are not a problem although they feel quite displaced and unsure of what to make of the whole thing.
I played squash with Warren on Monday. The game was a little rag tag with both of us off our game a little but reacting to the ball quite well. I managed to hit him with the ball several times and myself once with the racquet. I promised him I would be more careful in the future.
I have to get the papers together for Cory's income tax soon. It will be the last time I should do this for him now that his income is coming from his job in another city. He should be able to do it himself. All my papers have not arrived as of yet, so I am not ready to meet with my accountant.
Gillian and Kathy's mother are still in a bit of hectic state over the upcoming wedding. I am sure that it will calm down when the kids start making a decision or two.
Warren was at the group meeting last week and said that everything continues without great changes in the men’s individual lives. Everett continues to be busy with things having "no problem" and his communication with Louise is better than ever. Peter and his wife are getting along even with her working 8 hours at her part time job.
Wed. Feb. 28
I worked at Rock Solid Home last Saturday and Sunday. John called to say that they had hired a Sales person for the Westend showhome and my future time would be limited. I have a strange feeling about not having even this job and no money coming in. My evening was spent feeling quite low about this new development but I decided that the world was not coming to an end and I would survive because I would create something.
On Monday, I passed on my resume to Totem Building Supplies, although I misread the ad and came in during the afternoon shift which was for the outside workers, not the inside sales staff. Boy did I seem to be the fool.
Tuesday afternoon was spent at the EI office on their computers looking for a job, not to much new out there.
Jim, my brother, called because he was in town. I picked up mom and we had supper in the South end and caught up on things.
Warren returned to town early, so we managed to get in some squash games and then go for a beer.
Susan was busy with her yoga and enjoying her new car. She was able to buy a new car during the weekend with my help. Her current car was breaking down and telling her to get a new vehicle. There was no hot air occasionally and the radiator leaked sometimes. We test drove a few cars on Sunday night, looked at a few more, played some VLT and then went back to her place. Spending the past week at her place while Luke was on holiday was a very pleasant experience.
I went on to work on Saturday and she completed the negotiations by herself, purchased the car for what she had expected and was quite thrilled with her accomplishments. We celebrated with a supper out.
Cory continues to work long hours at his job with some movement in his quest to move to Atlanta. He would not be more explicit about what is happening at the moment.
Dana continues without steady work, but has met with his company boss and has come to an understanding that he is not high on their hiring list. He will have to concentrate his efforts with other companies, IATSE or other non related work to be able to survive. I sure hope that he gets some steady work so he can regain his belief in himself.
Saturday, March 10, Cloudy with a temp of plus 6
The weather has been quite warm for this time of year. It is sunny and bright with the snow disappearing at a good rate over the past two weeks. A cold front blew in Thursday night with gusty winds on Friday.
I planned to go flying on Friday but the winds would have made for a bumpy ride so I saved it for another day. Instead I spent the day napping and doing some more resumes. The week was busy and stretched out. I spent Monday and Tuesday working at the show home.
I played squash with Warren on Monday evening, had a good game but did not win as many games as I wished.
On Wednesday, I had breakfast with Derek. He has a long way to go before he achieves a balance in his life.
I ate lunch with a co- worker from my old company, who is moving on to get his real estate license and sell homes for his brother in law. He is somewhat angry at his treatment from the company and has no desire to stay around any longer. I am quite confident that he will do well in his new life. His wife seems to be OK with what he wants to do.
He asked me to fly up to Grand Prairie next May to see a few friends of his. Later in the afternoon, I had coffee with a Shirley, friend of Susan’s, and talked about the life of a new home builder's sales person. Selling in this area is a slow methodical process that can be very productive if I have the patience. I played racquetball with Susan later in the afternoon. She had to leave quickly to get ready for her daughter and grandson, Holly and Mathew who were coming for a visit. Luke is in the middle of a break up with his new girlfriend, Amanda. She wants to slow down the relationship because it is to hot and she is losing herself in it. This is very difficult and painful for both of them. He is very confused by the volatility and ups and downs of his emotions because they are so in love with each other. Susan is doing what she can to help him without interfering. Susan's dad had a bad incident in which he passed out while driving his car, hit some trees with the car ending up in a neighbor's lane way and fence. No one was injured but he has decided he will not drive anymore. Susan is quite shook up with this occurrence. Played squash with Warren again on Thursday, our game has reached a new higher level and is quite enjoyable even though he continues to win most of the games. I am taking him to his limit at the moment and as soon as I stop making most of the silly mistakes the games should be even closer.
Susan has to go in for an operation in May, so will be off work for a month and a half on sick leave. I hope that nothing unfortunate comes of it.
Hector continues to scan the personal ads for dates with women. He is still searching for that perfect woman that will complete his life. I was surprised to hear that he is not advertising in the ads for himself but responding to ads in the paper. Everett's work has slowed down, so he is able to clean up the odds and ends of the work he is doing. Some of what he is learning in his money creating group is giving him a better understanding of his relationship to Louise. I am getting better in letting go of any frustration that I feel because of my inadequacies in performance and expressing these feelings to Susan and those concerned.
Work continues to be elusive; I continue to send information to head hunters with some response. I continue to send out resumes to jobs that are posted whether they are of interest to me or not. There seems to be some hope in doing pre wires for home builders to bring in some money but it is hard not to feel a little panic that things will not turn around. But hopes rings eternal, I am confident that the future is bright and eventful for me. I should go flying again on Sunday and recapture that excitement and passion that I have missed over the past few months.
Rainy and windy in the morning with the rain stopping about noon. The winds are gusty and warm, seems to be a warm air mass coming out of BC. Went out to meet Susan for coffee at the Urban Fare. Her daughter and family met us there. They seemed to like the atmosphere. Susan continues to be so in love with her grandson, Mathew. She and her daughter, Holly, are getting along very well. Jason continues to be quite interesting as he talks about the life of an RCMP officer. Luke is still struggling with his breakup with Amanda. He is looking at applying to the RCMP as a career choice.
The clutch in my car continues to hiccup when I first start out in the morning. Maybe I am just sensitive to it and making more of it than needs to be. I will check it out on Monday with Acura and get their opinion on cost and replacement possibility. The car has 220 thousand km on it. I would expect that it is time to replace the clutch and treat the car to some consideration. It has been very good to me. Susan and I are becoming quite comfortable with each as we allow each other space and time. She is very accommodating.
I am back from my two week stay in Toronto and sitting in the Rock Solid Show home today.
I felt good coming back and having Susan in my presence.
Dana and Cory are doing well and moving ahead with their lives and dreams.
Dana is struggling with the lack of available work over the past month but is more driven and calculating in his search for work this year.
Cory continues to express his frustration with his boss and their decisions but likes the people he works with and the work he does. He continues to work for Greg in the car design division. On the personal side they both said their girlfriends are interesting and interested in them which makes for easy relationships.
Dana and I talked about what happened and how his relationship ended with Linda. He made it clear that the process they chose was a difficult way to end a close relationship. But that is something that happens to all of us as we go through life. I am confident that Dana and Linda will both be stronger for it.
Gillian on the other hand continues to struggle with the many difficulties in her life. Her desire to control and take control of events and people in her life, without having the power and tools to make these decisions, has her very confused. She is at least, aware and is discussing her drinking, falling asleep and her habit of not remembering the previous night's activities. She is taking some steps to regain proper eating and drinking habits by enrolling in weight watchers group. Val, a long time friend of Gillian’s, and I talked about my concerns with Gillian's activities. Val said she would try to be more aware of Gillian's activities and try to intervene when necessary.
Jason continues to employ shock tactics with his mother. He certainly is going out of his way to remain a child. Gillian cannot understand why he is doing such things.
Simon and Kathy have gotten engaged this last weekend. Everyone is very happy for them. Kathy's mother is on top of the world and already starting to worry about all the problems that might occur during the upcoming wedding. The happy couple is determined to be in charge of the majority of planning and direction of their wedding. I am quite confident that they will be able to achieve the wedding that they desire.
Fred and Sue are a little concerned about their daughter, Kelsey’s pregnancy. Kelsey's baby has not arrived yet although it is not due till Saturday, Feb 17. Susan, Kelsey’s mother, should be back from Vancouver just in time to become a grandparent, I am sure that Fred will be a superb grandfather.
Susan and Holly are getting along well again, although there was some sort of dispute between Holly and her husband when I was in Toronto.
Susan C.’s son, Luke and his girlfriend, Amanda are in love and displaying all the emotional and physical signs that put them in another world.
I have arranged an interview with a head hunter company this Friday, to talk about a sales position with a company that sells floor tile. They were quite interested in me and their offer over the phone excited me. I will follow up to get a complete understanding of what the job is and what is being offered. This house sitting job is OK but as a long term profession I do not think that it is something that has much potential.
Anyway, I am just back from my holiday in Toronto, a little disoriented and longing to see Susan so I will not make any decisions for at least a week.
Warren has been in Europe for about two weeks and should be returning at the end of this week, we should be able to continue playing squash when he gets settled in.
I have not been at the men's group for about three weeks and won't be able to make it this week. I am sure every one is getting along quite well and striving to ensure that their lives are just fine. With all of us getting busier with different work schedules, the weekly group meeting will have a different dynamic. Michele should be doing fine with his new outlook on life along with the success of his business.
I am really concerned with Gillian and her inability to take control of herself. She is getting older and less able physically and mentally to cope with the stresses of life. I am concerned that she will come have a physical or emotional breakdown that will drastically change her life. Losing any physical ability would be extremely frustrating for her. I will be better able to judge how she is progressing when she arrives here for her friend’s wedding in March. She should have a chance to create a new routine in her life before then.
Tuesday, Feb 20
The day is sunny and getting warmer. The winds are blowing in from the south keeping the temperature around -5.
Work at Rock Solid Homes continues on an hourly rate that enables me to get some reading and paperwork in. I should have enough hours in this month to allow me to get by.
The interview with Brenda, the head hunter, went well with a promise from her to set up a meeting with the manager of the company later on this week. I am a little worried about what my ex-manager might say that is different from what is on my resume. The differences will be small but I do not know what effect they will have on Brenda and her company. Oh well, if the job is to be it will be.
Getting work is not a problem I assured mother. We met with Grace and her boys for breakfast on Monday, so I could deliver the clothes that Gillian sent to Grace. It was a good time with Adam the oldest son, impressing me with how grown up he has become.
Gillian continues her diet, losing weight and getting comfortable with her new life style.
I talked to Dana; he has had no further work after the Monday that he worked with Jason.
Cory has been working many hours trying to catch up to his spending levels. The specialty course that he enrolled in was postponed for two weeks. I'm glad that he is always so enthusiastic about his work.
Luke is on holidays this last week on a cruise down beside south so I have been spending the nights with Susan. Staying the night with her has caused some adjustment in both our lifestyles. I thing it would take some getting used to if we moved in together on a permanent basis. The dogs are not a problem although they feel quite displaced and unsure of what to make of the whole thing.
I played squash with Warren on Monday. The game was a little rag tag with both of us off our game a little but reacting to the ball quite well. I managed to hit him with the ball several times and myself once with the racquet. I promised him I would be more careful in the future.
I have to get the papers together for Cory's income tax soon. It will be the last time I should do this for him now that his income is coming from his job in another city. He should be able to do it himself. All my papers have not arrived as of yet, so I am not ready to meet with my accountant.
Gillian and Kathy's mother are still in a bit of hectic state over the upcoming wedding. I am sure that it will calm down when the kids start making a decision or two.
Warren was at the group meeting last week and said that everything continues without great changes in the men’s individual lives. Everett continues to be busy with things having "no problem" and his communication with Louise is better than ever. Peter and his wife are getting along even with her working 8 hours at her part time job.
Wed. Feb. 28
I worked at Rock Solid Home last Saturday and Sunday. John called to say that they had hired a Sales person for the Westend showhome and my future time would be limited. I have a strange feeling about not having even this job and no money coming in. My evening was spent feeling quite low about this new development but I decided that the world was not coming to an end and I would survive because I would create something.
On Monday, I passed on my resume to Totem Building Supplies, although I misread the ad and came in during the afternoon shift which was for the outside workers, not the inside sales staff. Boy did I seem to be the fool.
Tuesday afternoon was spent at the EI office on their computers looking for a job, not to much new out there.
Jim, my brother, called because he was in town. I picked up mom and we had supper in the South end and caught up on things.
Warren returned to town early, so we managed to get in some squash games and then go for a beer.
Susan was busy with her yoga and enjoying her new car. She was able to buy a new car during the weekend with my help. Her current car was breaking down and telling her to get a new vehicle. There was no hot air occasionally and the radiator leaked sometimes. We test drove a few cars on Sunday night, looked at a few more, played some VLT and then went back to her place. Spending the past week at her place while Luke was on holiday was a very pleasant experience.
I went on to work on Saturday and she completed the negotiations by herself, purchased the car for what she had expected and was quite thrilled with her accomplishments. We celebrated with a supper out.
Cory continues to work long hours at his job with some movement in his quest to move to Atlanta. He would not be more explicit about what is happening at the moment.
Dana continues without steady work, but has met with his company boss and has come to an understanding that he is not high on their hiring list. He will have to concentrate his efforts with other companies, IATSE or other non related work to be able to survive. I sure hope that he gets some steady work so he can regain his belief in himself.
Saturday, March 10, Cloudy with a temp of plus 6
The weather has been quite warm for this time of year. It is sunny and bright with the snow disappearing at a good rate over the past two weeks. A cold front blew in Thursday night with gusty winds on Friday.
I planned to go flying on Friday but the winds would have made for a bumpy ride so I saved it for another day. Instead I spent the day napping and doing some more resumes. The week was busy and stretched out. I spent Monday and Tuesday working at the show home.
I played squash with Warren on Monday evening, had a good game but did not win as many games as I wished.
On Wednesday, I had breakfast with Derek. He has a long way to go before he achieves a balance in his life.
I ate lunch with a co- worker from my old company, who is moving on to get his real estate license and sell homes for his brother in law. He is somewhat angry at his treatment from the company and has no desire to stay around any longer. I am quite confident that he will do well in his new life. His wife seems to be OK with what he wants to do.
He asked me to fly up to Grand Prairie next May to see a few friends of his. Later in the afternoon, I had coffee with a Shirley, friend of Susan’s, and talked about the life of a new home builder's sales person. Selling in this area is a slow methodical process that can be very productive if I have the patience. I played racquetball with Susan later in the afternoon. She had to leave quickly to get ready for her daughter and grandson, Holly and Mathew who were coming for a visit. Luke is in the middle of a break up with his new girlfriend, Amanda. She wants to slow down the relationship because it is to hot and she is losing herself in it. This is very difficult and painful for both of them. He is very confused by the volatility and ups and downs of his emotions because they are so in love with each other. Susan is doing what she can to help him without interfering. Susan's dad had a bad incident in which he passed out while driving his car, hit some trees with the car ending up in a neighbor's lane way and fence. No one was injured but he has decided he will not drive anymore. Susan is quite shook up with this occurrence. Played squash with Warren again on Thursday, our game has reached a new higher level and is quite enjoyable even though he continues to win most of the games. I am taking him to his limit at the moment and as soon as I stop making most of the silly mistakes the games should be even closer.
Susan has to go in for an operation in May, so will be off work for a month and a half on sick leave. I hope that nothing unfortunate comes of it.
Hector continues to scan the personal ads for dates with women. He is still searching for that perfect woman that will complete his life. I was surprised to hear that he is not advertising in the ads for himself but responding to ads in the paper. Everett's work has slowed down, so he is able to clean up the odds and ends of the work he is doing. Some of what he is learning in his money creating group is giving him a better understanding of his relationship to Louise. I am getting better in letting go of any frustration that I feel because of my inadequacies in performance and expressing these feelings to Susan and those concerned.
Work continues to be elusive; I continue to send information to head hunters with some response. I continue to send out resumes to jobs that are posted whether they are of interest to me or not. There seems to be some hope in doing pre wires for home builders to bring in some money but it is hard not to feel a little panic that things will not turn around. But hopes rings eternal, I am confident that the future is bright and eventful for me. I should go flying again on Sunday and recapture that excitement and passion that I have missed over the past few months.
Rainy and windy in the morning with the rain stopping about noon. The winds are gusty and warm, seems to be a warm air mass coming out of BC. Went out to meet Susan for coffee at the Urban Fare. Her daughter and family met us there. They seemed to like the atmosphere. Susan continues to be so in love with her grandson, Mathew. She and her daughter, Holly, are getting along very well. Jason continues to be quite interesting as he talks about the life of an RCMP officer. Luke is still struggling with his breakup with Amanda. He is looking at applying to the RCMP as a career choice.
The clutch in my car continues to hiccup when I first start out in the morning. Maybe I am just sensitive to it and making more of it than needs to be. I will check it out on Monday with Acura and get their opinion on cost and replacement possibility. The car has 220 thousand km on it. I would expect that it is time to replace the clutch and treat the car to some consideration. It has been very good to me. Susan and I are becoming quite comfortable with each as we allow each other space and time. She is very accommodating.
# posted by A Mens' Group @ 12:14 PM 
