Sunday, July 31, 2005
Just Life
Wednesday, May 3
I went for my the yearly medical, hopefully with flying colors, well maybe, still have a few pounds to lose, my thought; not the doctor’s, his heart is in the correct place it seems. All parts are working with no cancer in any place that the doctor can find. I fell very relieved and happy. The week is moving along nicely.
I am feeling quite happy and relaxed. Have done some work for son's company to help him out.
I played squash with Warren yesterday, good thinking game but I had no power in the game because of the sore ribs. Warren is a good partner for playing indoor sports games. I will beat him at this game yet.
I should spend a little more time reading up on the strategy of the game.
Susan is feeling quite relaxed and spunky since she has had some sleep and time to herself. Her daughter, Holly, is back up north and the house is quiet again. Work is still quite hectic for her but she enjoys the challenge.
I spent an enjoyable hour with Shirley discussing her change in position at her company. She is starting to see that the change is manageable and with-in her ability to control and direct with out any inward feelings of guilt. She is seeing glimpses of her future, but is still unsure of her ability.
She has such a future in front of her that it is almost unimaginable to her at the moment.
After visiting the old company office again this week, I am more than relieved not to be working there at this time. The stress level has risen again, with the new demands that the company has created for the employees. It is an interesting company now that has been created by the multinational parent company. I wonder how much it is going to change in the near future. The American way has arrived in this city in the security area.
A letter arrived from VP of human resources in response to my second letter. It is time that I respond to the letter to move this situation along. I still don't know how long I will waste my waste my time by continuing with this confrontation.
Cheryl seems to have moved her personal life along with her discussion with Andrew. Hopefully he is being straight with her and is displaying the apparent signs of insecurity because of other anxieties. I sense that this is not what it seems to be.
I am looking forward to flying with Gerald on Friday. The weather forecast is looking good and Gerald seems to up to the flying. I will have to do the planning and flight preparations for the flight on Friday in spite of the fact that the plane has the GPS and all the necessary electronics.
I should get out too view Derek's house some time next week. It seemed nice when Cheryl and I fly over it on Sunday. The view from the home should be spectacular. I am sure that they are taking pictures of the development of their home.
Sunday, May 7
Another week has gone by quickly.
I passed my medical so I am fit to fly, both medically, emotionally and physically.
I completed some homes for my son, Cory. He has another one ready for him on Tuesday.
I sent off a letter to my old company’s VP in response to his letter about my quitting/being fired. It will probably be another month before I hear back from him. This should be the last bit of communication with the company if they do not offer a severance package.
My side is healing nicely without to much pain, except when I am laying down and then trying to get up.
Playing squash with Warren was invigorating, although I had no power, so I played a finesse game.
The group meeting discussion centered on Everett’s inability to manage his time and efforts. After his participation at a "Better your life" course over the weekend; he is starting to see the possibilities for what can be in the future.
Hector and Jeff did not show up. Hector is doing soccer things with his kids while Jeff is still “powering through” the problems in his life.
Susan has had a busy week with a couple of suppers with friends and then some shopping. We were invited over to Cheryl's place for drinks on Saturday night, Steph and some friends of Cheryl's were there also. We all had a good time, Susan got a little tipsy, by the time we had to leave, I was driving so I was careful with how much I had to drink. The hour was late so I took her home.
I am feeling a little sad that we did not spend some time alone together, but that seems to be the way it is turning out these days.
Sunday, she had to pick up her friend from the airport and she was going over to have supper with her dad.
I spent the day at Chapters reading and just relaxing.
Dana, my son, phoned with the latest news- he has hurt his knee but is continuing to work at anything that is available. He is going to have a doctor look at his knee in the near future. There is a possibility that he may need some minor surgery on his knee ligaments.
Spending so little time with Susan has made me a little sad. I am coming to terms with the fact that is the events that are just occurring and not some desire on her part to be on her own. This just goes back to the abandonment feelings that are still very prevalent. If she wishes more time for herself then so be it.
Cory and I discussed the current virus that is having an impact on the computers of the world this week.
JUNE 1 Thursday,
Well, it has been a while.
Life has continued with a few minor ups and downs.
I went through a week of depression. I recognized it and made sure that I did things that made the days go by.
Shared the event with Susan but perhaps not as well and openly as I should have, we had a talk during the week after to clear up a few things that were left in the air. It turned out alright, with a better understanding of how we cope with events in our lives.
The men’ group continues to meet; with Jeff and Jim still absent.
Jeff is working his way through his divorce and has decided that it would be better not to communicate with the group until it was over.
We have heard nothing from Jim in over three months.
Warren is spending some time rolling in the grass with Sally, and is feeling somewhat lonely at times. He is looking forward to sharing his life and time with someone, perhaps Sally.
Everett has made great steps in coming to terms with being himself and being comfortable with how he does things and how he interacts with his wife. He is working at not taking responsibility for her insecurities and confusion.
I spent a week feeling very sick with a cold after his depression. My body did not have enough energy to ward off a cold germ he picked up while visiting the old company’s office, small wander. The discussion between the company VP and myself have come to an end, with the goal of getting a reaction from the company accomplished.
Cory got the work for the large complex; it will stand him in good stead, with a possible three more units to be built.
I helped Derek build his new home along with the fellow who cut and designed the wood inner structure. Derek is getting quite concerned over the mistakes that are occurring in the construction of the house, his wife is taking it all in stride.
Susan and I were invited out to see the house last Saturday and partake in a Barbeque along with some of Derek's associates. Most of the couples, invited to the supper, worked together in the industry and it was quite evident the extent they were driven by their profession.
I will have lunch with Mother tomorrow.
Spent some time with Cheryl, she talked about her frustration with Andrew. He does not seem to be able to put her mind at ease in terms of his commitment to the relationship.
Dana's job seems to be going well; he says that he is getting in a great number of hours and some promotions, more responsibilities along with an increase in pay.
Cory is somewhat frustrated with the new management at the dealership, but will wait till he is on a benefit plan so he can get some dental work done before expressing it to his boss. I suggested that bad bosses are a great incentive to get educated and get a better job. So much for the day, more words later.
Tuesday, June 6
Last few days have been hot, sunny and windy, the weather has been great.
Had a good weekend. Friday was a quiet night; Susan had the evening with her friends.
Saturday was spent at a golf tournament with Derek; later on I had a look at how the construction of his home was progressing.
Spent the next day with Susan, fixed her garage door, had supper and then went for a walk down by the river valley.
Weather and company were great.
I missed Dana's phone call.
I'm feeling quite relaxed at the moment with my life and all that is going on. Susan and I went to a book store on Sunday, I was able to pick up a two volume set on the history of my home town- 1890-19980, I will have to show it to Mom to see what she can remember of the times and perhaps bring back some memories. The boys should like the information about where they came from.
Warren had lunch with Jeff, but they spent the time talking business, no discussion about what is happening in Jeff's life.
I left a message on Nora's voice mail to see how she is getting on. No answer.
It is a bit of worry to me that Jeff has stayed away from the group this long. Warren is sure that he will return when he is comfortable. It surprises me that he thinks that he would be weak if he came to the meeting to talk about what is going on in his life. He is a very determined and singular man when it comes to doing things alone.
Cheryl is making her way through the relationship that she is having with Andrew, I don't know where it will end, but they are moving toward it. The situation with Cheryl being unsure of Andrew is not good for ether one of them. I hope that she gets some clarification soon. If Andrew is not doing any thing indiscreet, than Cheryl has to dig into why her insecurities are threatening her relationship with Andrew.
I saw Everett and his wife at their home for a short time on Monday; they seem to be at ease with each other. Their communication skills will stand them in good stead as they confront these new changes in their life.
Dana took some time off this last weekend to go to the lake with his girlfriend. They are coming out to the reunion in July as far as they know. It will be nice to see them. Cory is spending money on some new clothes, must mean that he has some extra spending cash. I will have to send out some more resumes and cover letters to the aviation companies that are of interest to me.
I went for my the yearly medical, hopefully with flying colors, well maybe, still have a few pounds to lose, my thought; not the doctor’s, his heart is in the correct place it seems. All parts are working with no cancer in any place that the doctor can find. I fell very relieved and happy. The week is moving along nicely.
I am feeling quite happy and relaxed. Have done some work for son's company to help him out.
I played squash with Warren yesterday, good thinking game but I had no power in the game because of the sore ribs. Warren is a good partner for playing indoor sports games. I will beat him at this game yet.
I should spend a little more time reading up on the strategy of the game.
Susan is feeling quite relaxed and spunky since she has had some sleep and time to herself. Her daughter, Holly, is back up north and the house is quiet again. Work is still quite hectic for her but she enjoys the challenge.
I spent an enjoyable hour with Shirley discussing her change in position at her company. She is starting to see that the change is manageable and with-in her ability to control and direct with out any inward feelings of guilt. She is seeing glimpses of her future, but is still unsure of her ability.
She has such a future in front of her that it is almost unimaginable to her at the moment.
After visiting the old company office again this week, I am more than relieved not to be working there at this time. The stress level has risen again, with the new demands that the company has created for the employees. It is an interesting company now that has been created by the multinational parent company. I wonder how much it is going to change in the near future. The American way has arrived in this city in the security area.
A letter arrived from VP of human resources in response to my second letter. It is time that I respond to the letter to move this situation along. I still don't know how long I will waste my waste my time by continuing with this confrontation.
Cheryl seems to have moved her personal life along with her discussion with Andrew. Hopefully he is being straight with her and is displaying the apparent signs of insecurity because of other anxieties. I sense that this is not what it seems to be.
I am looking forward to flying with Gerald on Friday. The weather forecast is looking good and Gerald seems to up to the flying. I will have to do the planning and flight preparations for the flight on Friday in spite of the fact that the plane has the GPS and all the necessary electronics.
I should get out too view Derek's house some time next week. It seemed nice when Cheryl and I fly over it on Sunday. The view from the home should be spectacular. I am sure that they are taking pictures of the development of their home.
Sunday, May 7
Another week has gone by quickly.
I passed my medical so I am fit to fly, both medically, emotionally and physically.
I completed some homes for my son, Cory. He has another one ready for him on Tuesday.
I sent off a letter to my old company’s VP in response to his letter about my quitting/being fired. It will probably be another month before I hear back from him. This should be the last bit of communication with the company if they do not offer a severance package.
My side is healing nicely without to much pain, except when I am laying down and then trying to get up.
Playing squash with Warren was invigorating, although I had no power, so I played a finesse game.
The group meeting discussion centered on Everett’s inability to manage his time and efforts. After his participation at a "Better your life" course over the weekend; he is starting to see the possibilities for what can be in the future.
Hector and Jeff did not show up. Hector is doing soccer things with his kids while Jeff is still “powering through” the problems in his life.
Susan has had a busy week with a couple of suppers with friends and then some shopping. We were invited over to Cheryl's place for drinks on Saturday night, Steph and some friends of Cheryl's were there also. We all had a good time, Susan got a little tipsy, by the time we had to leave, I was driving so I was careful with how much I had to drink. The hour was late so I took her home.
I am feeling a little sad that we did not spend some time alone together, but that seems to be the way it is turning out these days.
Sunday, she had to pick up her friend from the airport and she was going over to have supper with her dad.
I spent the day at Chapters reading and just relaxing.
Dana, my son, phoned with the latest news- he has hurt his knee but is continuing to work at anything that is available. He is going to have a doctor look at his knee in the near future. There is a possibility that he may need some minor surgery on his knee ligaments.
Spending so little time with Susan has made me a little sad. I am coming to terms with the fact that is the events that are just occurring and not some desire on her part to be on her own. This just goes back to the abandonment feelings that are still very prevalent. If she wishes more time for herself then so be it.
Cory and I discussed the current virus that is having an impact on the computers of the world this week.
JUNE 1 Thursday,
Well, it has been a while.
Life has continued with a few minor ups and downs.
I went through a week of depression. I recognized it and made sure that I did things that made the days go by.
Shared the event with Susan but perhaps not as well and openly as I should have, we had a talk during the week after to clear up a few things that were left in the air. It turned out alright, with a better understanding of how we cope with events in our lives.
The men’ group continues to meet; with Jeff and Jim still absent.
Jeff is working his way through his divorce and has decided that it would be better not to communicate with the group until it was over.
We have heard nothing from Jim in over three months.
Warren is spending some time rolling in the grass with Sally, and is feeling somewhat lonely at times. He is looking forward to sharing his life and time with someone, perhaps Sally.
Everett has made great steps in coming to terms with being himself and being comfortable with how he does things and how he interacts with his wife. He is working at not taking responsibility for her insecurities and confusion.
I spent a week feeling very sick with a cold after his depression. My body did not have enough energy to ward off a cold germ he picked up while visiting the old company’s office, small wander. The discussion between the company VP and myself have come to an end, with the goal of getting a reaction from the company accomplished.
Cory got the work for the large complex; it will stand him in good stead, with a possible three more units to be built.
I helped Derek build his new home along with the fellow who cut and designed the wood inner structure. Derek is getting quite concerned over the mistakes that are occurring in the construction of the house, his wife is taking it all in stride.
Susan and I were invited out to see the house last Saturday and partake in a Barbeque along with some of Derek's associates. Most of the couples, invited to the supper, worked together in the industry and it was quite evident the extent they were driven by their profession.
I will have lunch with Mother tomorrow.
Spent some time with Cheryl, she talked about her frustration with Andrew. He does not seem to be able to put her mind at ease in terms of his commitment to the relationship.
Dana's job seems to be going well; he says that he is getting in a great number of hours and some promotions, more responsibilities along with an increase in pay.
Cory is somewhat frustrated with the new management at the dealership, but will wait till he is on a benefit plan so he can get some dental work done before expressing it to his boss. I suggested that bad bosses are a great incentive to get educated and get a better job. So much for the day, more words later.
Tuesday, June 6
Last few days have been hot, sunny and windy, the weather has been great.
Had a good weekend. Friday was a quiet night; Susan had the evening with her friends.
Saturday was spent at a golf tournament with Derek; later on I had a look at how the construction of his home was progressing.
Spent the next day with Susan, fixed her garage door, had supper and then went for a walk down by the river valley.
Weather and company were great.
I missed Dana's phone call.
I'm feeling quite relaxed at the moment with my life and all that is going on. Susan and I went to a book store on Sunday, I was able to pick up a two volume set on the history of my home town- 1890-19980, I will have to show it to Mom to see what she can remember of the times and perhaps bring back some memories. The boys should like the information about where they came from.
Warren had lunch with Jeff, but they spent the time talking business, no discussion about what is happening in Jeff's life.
I left a message on Nora's voice mail to see how she is getting on. No answer.
It is a bit of worry to me that Jeff has stayed away from the group this long. Warren is sure that he will return when he is comfortable. It surprises me that he thinks that he would be weak if he came to the meeting to talk about what is going on in his life. He is a very determined and singular man when it comes to doing things alone.
Cheryl is making her way through the relationship that she is having with Andrew, I don't know where it will end, but they are moving toward it. The situation with Cheryl being unsure of Andrew is not good for ether one of them. I hope that she gets some clarification soon. If Andrew is not doing any thing indiscreet, than Cheryl has to dig into why her insecurities are threatening her relationship with Andrew.
I saw Everett and his wife at their home for a short time on Monday; they seem to be at ease with each other. Their communication skills will stand them in good stead as they confront these new changes in their life.
Dana took some time off this last weekend to go to the lake with his girlfriend. They are coming out to the reunion in July as far as they know. It will be nice to see them. Cory is spending money on some new clothes, must mean that he has some extra spending cash. I will have to send out some more resumes and cover letters to the aviation companies that are of interest to me.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Life is never all back in order
April 19/00 Wednesday- A great day
Weather is great, plus 18.
I did my final check out on the Cessna 172. I am able to fly it on my own now. Day went fairly well, I still have to work on my listening skills to get what is said over the air. If I am not sure what is being asked, I have to ask if I am not sure. I was quite concerned about the stall and slow flight portion of the flying but my instructor Bill, was very easy on me. I am glad to have it over. I should call my friend, Gerald and go for a flight.
Slowly I am getting in control of my flying and my dreams. The feeling is one of elation and some relief. Now I can get on with enjoying flying and not having to learn something new and do it in front of some instructor, no matter how good Bill is at his profession .I will do some flying for the fun of it.
Last week, was the first time Jeff had made and appearance in the last two months. He showed up during the last half hour to sit in on the discussion. Talk was about work and how each of us was doing in our jobs. Very little was said of what was going on in our own personal lives. Hector spent some time talking with Jeff about the children's feelings and understandings when a couple is splitting up and moving to different houses. I hope Hector understood how much discussion he had to have with his boys so they felt comfortable and included in the events of the day.
Jeff seems to be very in tune with his children. Looking quite tired and lean, Jeff did not talk of what is happening in his life, although he offered a suggestion that his friend, whose wife is leaving would like to sit in on the group to get some help and advice. Rob made the suggestion that this friend would benefit more from a time with Dr. Joe, but he would be welcome to attend.
I played squash with Warren on Tuesday again. We had a good hour of playing with the games getting quite competitive and even. I am feeling quite invigorated by the strenuous activity that is occurring. Hopefully, I will be able to continue to play racquetball with Susan in the following weeks. It seems to be a great way to get rid of the excess energy that is accumulating with my time off. Had a pleasant talk with Matt D and his interest in the services that I can offer him, as a private contractor, in the business. Keith had still not called him after I passed on Matt's name. Service will stand out, I hope.
Events continue as the days go by.
Some days are easy to live with, but there are moments of sheer terror when I wonder if what I am doing really is something sane.
Thursday, April
I spent some time visiting my past business contacts to keep in touch. Now that I am not part of the company they do not have much interest in my services as a private contractor.
This week’s group meeting was quite interesting.
Warren talked about a serious discussion he had with Sally regarding their future. They spent several hours expressing their vision of the future. Warren felt quite comfortable talking about moving on with or without Sally. His birthday is today, it was probably a point that he felt comfortable in making a decision to walk through the door that eliminated the possibility of continuing to do nothing. The two options left are to get back together with Sally or move on with-out her and establish a life with someone else.
Everett has been able to get back into meditating. He said he spent some time talking to his wife about what he was doing and how he envisioned the future. Everett is managing his time for himself, his work and his family. He is feeling quite comfortable in this new part of his life, although he still feels uncomfortable in his gut.
Jeff did not show up, probably his day with his kids?
Hector is moving along in all the decisions that are required to separate from his wife and her subsequent moving into her new home.
I talked about my need not to continue working while I was trying to retire. The third week is turning into a more relaxed time with my energy levels going down.
With my check out on the 172 complete, I continue to feel a great sense of relief. Now, I can get out and do some flying for fun. Hopefully, I can take some of my friends into the air flying. It should be fun flying some distance in this new plane. I can hardly wait.
Peter was able to share some thoughts with a co worker about the direction and how a meeting they were involved was conducted. He was able to express his views quickly and without much anxiety and put it behind him.
The weather has been fabulous for flying over the last several days, plus 18 with a small breeze.
Mother is up in arms about the upcoming family reunion; the cost, the time and the general need not to have it happen. We will get through it. Mom, my son Cory and I are going to my brother’s place for Easter.
Susan is staying home with her grand-son while her daughter and son in law go out of town to get his kids. Susan is in her glory sending time with her grandson. I hope things turn out well for her. She is so special. More than I realize.
Warren suggested that he might sell his house in Edmonton and move his business to Vancouver. It would be a sad time if he chooses to do this, although we would have a good reason to have out group meetings in Vancouver. I am sure that he will visit us whenever he has a chance.
Saturday- late April
The day is bright and sunny, everything is turning green after the nice rain we had Friday. The winds that have been with us for three days have finally calmed down. It is a very nice spring day.
My ribs are finally feeling better after a week of pain. This silly injury reminded me that it sure is nice to be healthy. I feel bad that I had to postpone flying with my niece from the states, but we will do it when she comes out in July.
This is the first full month after leaving my old company. The month has gone quickly. Some of the days go by slowly while others are filled with activity and direction. I have sent in the weekly claim forms that EI have sent to me but I have not received any confirmation that they have accepted me on their lists.
My old company continues to be surprised at my actions in reply to their aggressive statements. I don't know if I will continue to correspond with them, it seems to take a great deal of energy out of me, energy that I am not sure I want to waste on them.
Warren, Peter and I met on Thursday at the coffee shop. The others did not make an appearance. Everett and Hector have been making regular appearances, but Jeff has shown up only once for a short period of time several weeks ago.
Jeff is deeply involved with his new direction in life, divorce from Victoria, getting re-involved with Nora and the boating industry to be able to share his time with us. Warren feels that Jeff will reappear when he is ready to talk about what he is doing and his life is all back in order.
Life is never all back in order.
Hector and his wife have separated with her moving into a new home in the coming weeks. Hector is taking is quite well, I would hope that he now concentrates his time on the children to help them through this period of upheaval.
Susan's daughter and family have been at her home for the past several weeks, causing the creation of countless emotions. The large number of people, the kids from the previous marriage, Holly's growth into motherhood and partnership has certainly tested the family dynamics.
I was able to check out on the new 172 with all its toys. I am enjoying flying this new plane.
Gerald suggested that we go out for a flight next Friday. I marked it in my calendar although I am not sure whether Gerald will make the date.
There are moments of great concern on my part, whether I am doing the correct thing. It would seem to me that it would be easier to be in the main stream of work and life but then I hear what the demands are being made on the people of my old company. I am convinced of the futile nature of such decisions, at least where they concern me and my life style. I am confident that the people out in society can see and truly recognize my values and what I have to contribute to their companies, whether I do it as an employee or as an independent company.
Weather is great, plus 18.
I did my final check out on the Cessna 172. I am able to fly it on my own now. Day went fairly well, I still have to work on my listening skills to get what is said over the air. If I am not sure what is being asked, I have to ask if I am not sure. I was quite concerned about the stall and slow flight portion of the flying but my instructor Bill, was very easy on me. I am glad to have it over. I should call my friend, Gerald and go for a flight.
Slowly I am getting in control of my flying and my dreams. The feeling is one of elation and some relief. Now I can get on with enjoying flying and not having to learn something new and do it in front of some instructor, no matter how good Bill is at his profession .I will do some flying for the fun of it.
Last week, was the first time Jeff had made and appearance in the last two months. He showed up during the last half hour to sit in on the discussion. Talk was about work and how each of us was doing in our jobs. Very little was said of what was going on in our own personal lives. Hector spent some time talking with Jeff about the children's feelings and understandings when a couple is splitting up and moving to different houses. I hope Hector understood how much discussion he had to have with his boys so they felt comfortable and included in the events of the day.
Jeff seems to be very in tune with his children. Looking quite tired and lean, Jeff did not talk of what is happening in his life, although he offered a suggestion that his friend, whose wife is leaving would like to sit in on the group to get some help and advice. Rob made the suggestion that this friend would benefit more from a time with Dr. Joe, but he would be welcome to attend.
I played squash with Warren on Tuesday again. We had a good hour of playing with the games getting quite competitive and even. I am feeling quite invigorated by the strenuous activity that is occurring. Hopefully, I will be able to continue to play racquetball with Susan in the following weeks. It seems to be a great way to get rid of the excess energy that is accumulating with my time off. Had a pleasant talk with Matt D and his interest in the services that I can offer him, as a private contractor, in the business. Keith had still not called him after I passed on Matt's name. Service will stand out, I hope.
Events continue as the days go by.
Some days are easy to live with, but there are moments of sheer terror when I wonder if what I am doing really is something sane.
Thursday, April
I spent some time visiting my past business contacts to keep in touch. Now that I am not part of the company they do not have much interest in my services as a private contractor.
This week’s group meeting was quite interesting.
Warren talked about a serious discussion he had with Sally regarding their future. They spent several hours expressing their vision of the future. Warren felt quite comfortable talking about moving on with or without Sally. His birthday is today, it was probably a point that he felt comfortable in making a decision to walk through the door that eliminated the possibility of continuing to do nothing. The two options left are to get back together with Sally or move on with-out her and establish a life with someone else.
Everett has been able to get back into meditating. He said he spent some time talking to his wife about what he was doing and how he envisioned the future. Everett is managing his time for himself, his work and his family. He is feeling quite comfortable in this new part of his life, although he still feels uncomfortable in his gut.
Jeff did not show up, probably his day with his kids?
Hector is moving along in all the decisions that are required to separate from his wife and her subsequent moving into her new home.
I talked about my need not to continue working while I was trying to retire. The third week is turning into a more relaxed time with my energy levels going down.
With my check out on the 172 complete, I continue to feel a great sense of relief. Now, I can get out and do some flying for fun. Hopefully, I can take some of my friends into the air flying. It should be fun flying some distance in this new plane. I can hardly wait.
Peter was able to share some thoughts with a co worker about the direction and how a meeting they were involved was conducted. He was able to express his views quickly and without much anxiety and put it behind him.
The weather has been fabulous for flying over the last several days, plus 18 with a small breeze.
Mother is up in arms about the upcoming family reunion; the cost, the time and the general need not to have it happen. We will get through it. Mom, my son Cory and I are going to my brother’s place for Easter.
Susan is staying home with her grand-son while her daughter and son in law go out of town to get his kids. Susan is in her glory sending time with her grandson. I hope things turn out well for her. She is so special. More than I realize.
Warren suggested that he might sell his house in Edmonton and move his business to Vancouver. It would be a sad time if he chooses to do this, although we would have a good reason to have out group meetings in Vancouver. I am sure that he will visit us whenever he has a chance.
Saturday- late April
The day is bright and sunny, everything is turning green after the nice rain we had Friday. The winds that have been with us for three days have finally calmed down. It is a very nice spring day.
My ribs are finally feeling better after a week of pain. This silly injury reminded me that it sure is nice to be healthy. I feel bad that I had to postpone flying with my niece from the states, but we will do it when she comes out in July.
This is the first full month after leaving my old company. The month has gone quickly. Some of the days go by slowly while others are filled with activity and direction. I have sent in the weekly claim forms that EI have sent to me but I have not received any confirmation that they have accepted me on their lists.
My old company continues to be surprised at my actions in reply to their aggressive statements. I don't know if I will continue to correspond with them, it seems to take a great deal of energy out of me, energy that I am not sure I want to waste on them.
Warren, Peter and I met on Thursday at the coffee shop. The others did not make an appearance. Everett and Hector have been making regular appearances, but Jeff has shown up only once for a short period of time several weeks ago.
Jeff is deeply involved with his new direction in life, divorce from Victoria, getting re-involved with Nora and the boating industry to be able to share his time with us. Warren feels that Jeff will reappear when he is ready to talk about what he is doing and his life is all back in order.
Life is never all back in order.
Hector and his wife have separated with her moving into a new home in the coming weeks. Hector is taking is quite well, I would hope that he now concentrates his time on the children to help them through this period of upheaval.
Susan's daughter and family have been at her home for the past several weeks, causing the creation of countless emotions. The large number of people, the kids from the previous marriage, Holly's growth into motherhood and partnership has certainly tested the family dynamics.
I was able to check out on the new 172 with all its toys. I am enjoying flying this new plane.
Gerald suggested that we go out for a flight next Friday. I marked it in my calendar although I am not sure whether Gerald will make the date.
There are moments of great concern on my part, whether I am doing the correct thing. It would seem to me that it would be easier to be in the main stream of work and life but then I hear what the demands are being made on the people of my old company. I am convinced of the futile nature of such decisions, at least where they concern me and my life style. I am confident that the people out in society can see and truly recognize my values and what I have to contribute to their companies, whether I do it as an employee or as an independent company.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
A New Era begins
The new year always brings hope and a new confidence.
Rob is enjoying his career in the company but has a sense of unease because of all the changes that are occurring. He has a feeling that the activities do not make sense. Responses to his questions are strange, the new company direction is contrived and the actions of the managers can be called into question. With the new ownership of the company by a large international entity, the basic philosophy of the company has changed from service focused to profit directed. Rob’s direction is based on the belief that profit comes from giving good service with a great product. The new thinking seems that profit is first and foremost with service given as a secondary consideration. Early in January, Rob spoke with his manager about moving into the commercial sales division since he has proven himself for so many years in the residential sales area. The stability of income and the new challenge required in the commercial division would give Rob a sense of security that he so badly needs at the moment.
The group of men continues to meet through the months with attention given to personal issues , vacations and work combined with the quietness that the months of January and February create.
Jeff has still not come to terms with the relationship with the two women in his life. Neither woman is making it easy for him to be in control.
February
Events have occurred that are creating a need for Rob to evaluate his view of life. He accepted the offer by his manager to work in the commercial division of the company. After several successful weeks, his manager said that the top managers informed him this was not acceptable because of Rob’s low residential sales numbers in the previous few months. They went on to say that if quotas were not reached; Rob would be released. Rob’s manager made a point of reinforcing the company directive that profit was paramount in their company policy and service was secondary. To Rob, it was clear that the two different philosophies in dealing with the purchasing public could not be made to work together. After several agonizing days Rob had made a decision.
While coming to terms with what he believed in; Rob discovered that he was defining himself by what he did and not by who he was. He had a good feeling that he knew who he was and now had the chance to prove it. He decided that after all the years of work he was going to “retire” and do “nothing”. He was no longer having fun working at the company.
When he mentioned this some people, what he was going to do, most said that it was not possible. Susan said that it was a great idea and fully supported the notion. Taking charge of the situation and combined with the anger that “they can’t fire me, he would quit first” Rob moved into a new era in his life.
April
After 12 years with the company, Rob handed in his resignation. The company had suggested dissatisfaction with his performance to the extent that he would be let go if he did not meet their expectations soon. With a set of expectations in view of his long term employment he was now in negotiations with the company. The prospect of finding new employment is of little concern to him.
He was looking forward to spending some time doing very little. He was looking forward to doing what he wanted to do, that which was important to him. The possibility of not working would mean that he would have to slow down and enjoy a completely new way of living. The money would be of no concern.
Susan was of enormous help to him in getting through those days.
The men in the group were all supportive and help full in a variety of ways. The reaction from Derek, a long time friend, was pleasant and reassuring.
Rob’s mind was busy considering all the possibilities that are available to him in the future. He was surprised that people had some understanding, although a lot of them thought that what he was doing was really crazy.
Some of them were unwilling to even consider making a change in their own lives to achieve what they want. The sacrifice that they are making to stay where they are and have what they want is not so great that it is an unbearable burden. Some of them looked in wonder at Rob, and could not really understand what he was doing. Cheryl has been very supportive with her phone calls making sure that Rob am all right.
On another front, Shirley is gaining strength in her own battle with her company that is causing a problem in her life. Hopefully I can give her some strength by showing her that the world does not end when you stand up for your beliefs and rights. She is strong and will do just fine.
Dana and Cory seem to taking it is stride, although I imagine they are talking and comparing notes. Dana is hitting his stride in the entertainment business with more and more work, developing more skills and gaining more confidence in what he has to offer. I feel good that the Dana’s and Linda’s car is finally safe, secure and insured for the streets. It would seem to be an important event in their life. The car will make it easier to gain access to their jobs and ultimately their goals in life. Linda is getting a job soon and this should ease some of the money concerns.
Cory is finally permanent at his job and will receive a raise and have access to the benefit package that the company has created. He has been at the job for three months and has proven to be an asset to the company. His work in the graphic design area is starting to pay off with contracts to design graphics for t- shirts and vehicles. Cory’s work with Gregg continues, but I do not see and move to the USA any time in the near future.
April
A week and a half since Rob stopped working for the company. A multitude of emotions have passed through him. The first week was covered by pure exhaustion and a need to continue to define himself with work. Trying to keep busy to ward off the feeling of panic, the questions present themselves; what if he did the wrong thing, most of time he is sure that he is doing the correct thing. He builds himself up by thinking of the envy that people show when they hear that he is retiring. Many different attitudes come from the people who are concerned in different ways about money and what they really want to do with their life. He has done the rounds with his contacts in the building industry to let them know that he was no longer with the company.
He will let his belief in himself create the direction of his future.
Playing squash with Warren has created a release for his energy and a sense of stability in his life.
Susan has had the flu for several days and has been unable to play racquetball with Rob although they spent the time chatting over coffee and a cookie.
Rob spent some money on a printer, shoes and a work station for himself, a small reward for the time and effort he worked and for making the hard decision to continue to stay in control of his life.
As these events continue, Rob has managed to sort the situation out and has come to a better understanding of his limitations and abilities.
The company staff has set up a small get together after work for the company staff who wanted to show up and say goodbye to Rob. Rob was quite moved when Steve presenting a gift (a Zippo lighter) from himself. The group gave Rob a card with some very nice sayings. It was evident that some of the people stayed the polite required time, said their good byes and moved on, they had work to do. At the end of the evening several close co workers and Rob remained talking of small events that had occurred in the office. They were determined to stay till mid night and make an evening out of it. Rob left with a hug from each of them.
Because of the many years of contributing to Unemployment Insurance, Rob applied for employment insurance to obtain the benefits he was entitled too. Some of the process was very good, some was quite disturbing. Now he would wait and see if his claim was accepted.
Rob, with Warren’s help, passed on to the company a letter demanding a compensation package for the years worked and the unfair working conditions that forced his resignation. He had nothing to lose.
The group has continued to meet. Jeff has not been present for at least two months; Jim is nowhere to be seen. Michel has made great strides in controlling his work time work load, alone with the personal issue of dieting. Hector and his wife are coming to point where she is moving into a home she has purchased, he keeps his home and their lives become a lot more stable. This will bring great benefits to their children.
Rob feels very pleased for him and his success. Warren has started to work. Along with playing squash he has relaxed to a level that has him in a comfort zone that is new to him. Rob knows most of the time that what he is doing is correct, though sometimes craves the cover of the masses. Rob knows that his ability to be successful at whatever he chooses is a certainty. Time moves along with out any help and all Rob has to remember to do is breath.
Many people have thought Rob has done strange things in his life and this is just another example. Since his strange activities are of no great concern to them except in passing, they view the activities as only something to gossip about.
Dana and Linda are doing well, although Dana continues to bring out the father protectiveness in me when he talks of car racing and exploring more of life. I try to pass on him that it is alright to consider different things and my comments are just “father” responses. I am very pleased that he will share with me his hopes and desires. Mother is well, unhappy with her children at different times during the months. Gillian has talked to us all about the family reunion in July. She is surprised that her enthusiasm and energy were not more warmly received by the rest of the family. People do find her quite overwhelming, but she does it out of the goodness of her heart, along with the need to have most things done perfectly. She wants to make sure that even the smallest of events are celebrated to the fullest extent.
Cheryl is settling into her new job, spending money under stress but has the desire to stay in one place to stabilize her life with her son TJ and with her new found love- Andrew. She has redirected her energies now that she has grown a little older and a little more mature.
Life continues; a new phase is upon Rob. It was pleasing for Rob to feel that his friends care and are concerned about what is happening in his life. This is not something that he knew for sure in his heart.
The future is what we crave to see; but yet most of us only dare to peek at if we are given the opportunity.
Rob is enjoying his career in the company but has a sense of unease because of all the changes that are occurring. He has a feeling that the activities do not make sense. Responses to his questions are strange, the new company direction is contrived and the actions of the managers can be called into question. With the new ownership of the company by a large international entity, the basic philosophy of the company has changed from service focused to profit directed. Rob’s direction is based on the belief that profit comes from giving good service with a great product. The new thinking seems that profit is first and foremost with service given as a secondary consideration. Early in January, Rob spoke with his manager about moving into the commercial sales division since he has proven himself for so many years in the residential sales area. The stability of income and the new challenge required in the commercial division would give Rob a sense of security that he so badly needs at the moment.
The group of men continues to meet through the months with attention given to personal issues , vacations and work combined with the quietness that the months of January and February create.
Jeff has still not come to terms with the relationship with the two women in his life. Neither woman is making it easy for him to be in control.
February
Events have occurred that are creating a need for Rob to evaluate his view of life. He accepted the offer by his manager to work in the commercial division of the company. After several successful weeks, his manager said that the top managers informed him this was not acceptable because of Rob’s low residential sales numbers in the previous few months. They went on to say that if quotas were not reached; Rob would be released. Rob’s manager made a point of reinforcing the company directive that profit was paramount in their company policy and service was secondary. To Rob, it was clear that the two different philosophies in dealing with the purchasing public could not be made to work together. After several agonizing days Rob had made a decision.
While coming to terms with what he believed in; Rob discovered that he was defining himself by what he did and not by who he was. He had a good feeling that he knew who he was and now had the chance to prove it. He decided that after all the years of work he was going to “retire” and do “nothing”. He was no longer having fun working at the company.
When he mentioned this some people, what he was going to do, most said that it was not possible. Susan said that it was a great idea and fully supported the notion. Taking charge of the situation and combined with the anger that “they can’t fire me, he would quit first” Rob moved into a new era in his life.
April
After 12 years with the company, Rob handed in his resignation. The company had suggested dissatisfaction with his performance to the extent that he would be let go if he did not meet their expectations soon. With a set of expectations in view of his long term employment he was now in negotiations with the company. The prospect of finding new employment is of little concern to him.
He was looking forward to spending some time doing very little. He was looking forward to doing what he wanted to do, that which was important to him. The possibility of not working would mean that he would have to slow down and enjoy a completely new way of living. The money would be of no concern.
Susan was of enormous help to him in getting through those days.
The men in the group were all supportive and help full in a variety of ways. The reaction from Derek, a long time friend, was pleasant and reassuring.
Rob’s mind was busy considering all the possibilities that are available to him in the future. He was surprised that people had some understanding, although a lot of them thought that what he was doing was really crazy.
Some of them were unwilling to even consider making a change in their own lives to achieve what they want. The sacrifice that they are making to stay where they are and have what they want is not so great that it is an unbearable burden. Some of them looked in wonder at Rob, and could not really understand what he was doing. Cheryl has been very supportive with her phone calls making sure that Rob am all right.
On another front, Shirley is gaining strength in her own battle with her company that is causing a problem in her life. Hopefully I can give her some strength by showing her that the world does not end when you stand up for your beliefs and rights. She is strong and will do just fine.
Dana and Cory seem to taking it is stride, although I imagine they are talking and comparing notes. Dana is hitting his stride in the entertainment business with more and more work, developing more skills and gaining more confidence in what he has to offer. I feel good that the Dana’s and Linda’s car is finally safe, secure and insured for the streets. It would seem to be an important event in their life. The car will make it easier to gain access to their jobs and ultimately their goals in life. Linda is getting a job soon and this should ease some of the money concerns.
Cory is finally permanent at his job and will receive a raise and have access to the benefit package that the company has created. He has been at the job for three months and has proven to be an asset to the company. His work in the graphic design area is starting to pay off with contracts to design graphics for t- shirts and vehicles. Cory’s work with Gregg continues, but I do not see and move to the USA any time in the near future.
April
A week and a half since Rob stopped working for the company. A multitude of emotions have passed through him. The first week was covered by pure exhaustion and a need to continue to define himself with work. Trying to keep busy to ward off the feeling of panic, the questions present themselves; what if he did the wrong thing, most of time he is sure that he is doing the correct thing. He builds himself up by thinking of the envy that people show when they hear that he is retiring. Many different attitudes come from the people who are concerned in different ways about money and what they really want to do with their life. He has done the rounds with his contacts in the building industry to let them know that he was no longer with the company.
He will let his belief in himself create the direction of his future.
Playing squash with Warren has created a release for his energy and a sense of stability in his life.
Susan has had the flu for several days and has been unable to play racquetball with Rob although they spent the time chatting over coffee and a cookie.
Rob spent some money on a printer, shoes and a work station for himself, a small reward for the time and effort he worked and for making the hard decision to continue to stay in control of his life.
As these events continue, Rob has managed to sort the situation out and has come to a better understanding of his limitations and abilities.
The company staff has set up a small get together after work for the company staff who wanted to show up and say goodbye to Rob. Rob was quite moved when Steve presenting a gift (a Zippo lighter) from himself. The group gave Rob a card with some very nice sayings. It was evident that some of the people stayed the polite required time, said their good byes and moved on, they had work to do. At the end of the evening several close co workers and Rob remained talking of small events that had occurred in the office. They were determined to stay till mid night and make an evening out of it. Rob left with a hug from each of them.
Because of the many years of contributing to Unemployment Insurance, Rob applied for employment insurance to obtain the benefits he was entitled too. Some of the process was very good, some was quite disturbing. Now he would wait and see if his claim was accepted.
Rob, with Warren’s help, passed on to the company a letter demanding a compensation package for the years worked and the unfair working conditions that forced his resignation. He had nothing to lose.
The group has continued to meet. Jeff has not been present for at least two months; Jim is nowhere to be seen. Michel has made great strides in controlling his work time work load, alone with the personal issue of dieting. Hector and his wife are coming to point where she is moving into a home she has purchased, he keeps his home and their lives become a lot more stable. This will bring great benefits to their children.
Rob feels very pleased for him and his success. Warren has started to work. Along with playing squash he has relaxed to a level that has him in a comfort zone that is new to him. Rob knows most of the time that what he is doing is correct, though sometimes craves the cover of the masses. Rob knows that his ability to be successful at whatever he chooses is a certainty. Time moves along with out any help and all Rob has to remember to do is breath.
Many people have thought Rob has done strange things in his life and this is just another example. Since his strange activities are of no great concern to them except in passing, they view the activities as only something to gossip about.
Dana and Linda are doing well, although Dana continues to bring out the father protectiveness in me when he talks of car racing and exploring more of life. I try to pass on him that it is alright to consider different things and my comments are just “father” responses. I am very pleased that he will share with me his hopes and desires. Mother is well, unhappy with her children at different times during the months. Gillian has talked to us all about the family reunion in July. She is surprised that her enthusiasm and energy were not more warmly received by the rest of the family. People do find her quite overwhelming, but she does it out of the goodness of her heart, along with the need to have most things done perfectly. She wants to make sure that even the smallest of events are celebrated to the fullest extent.
Cheryl is settling into her new job, spending money under stress but has the desire to stay in one place to stabilize her life with her son TJ and with her new found love- Andrew. She has redirected her energies now that she has grown a little older and a little more mature.
Life continues; a new phase is upon Rob. It was pleasing for Rob to feel that his friends care and are concerned about what is happening in his life. This is not something that he knew for sure in his heart.
The future is what we crave to see; but yet most of us only dare to peek at if we are given the opportunity.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
An End of an Era
The last few days were quiet.
The Month end work ended well.
The relaxed atmosphere of the commercial flight course is a pleasure for Rob. Reviewing the information and gaining an insight to some new aspects of flying is a pleasure for him.
Changes are apparent at the company Rob works for; with the logo change that highlights the new corporate name making the current company name a secondary product. The possible change in job positions, personnel and the new corporate outlook are all having an effect on the people in this division.
Susan is feeling a little off at the moment, the work situation at the office has perplexed her. She is questioning her loyalty to those around her and it is causing her some anguish.
Cory has settled into the finality that he must find some day to day work to supplement the money that is required to live.
Rob has managed to relax after the confusion of the weekend and loss of control; it was a minor fluctuation that has proved to provide an insight into his belief system.
November
Peter, Warren, Jeff and Rob were in attendance.
Peter was able to address a concern he had with a fellow worker during the week. After months of enduring comments about his work schedule by the co – worker, Peter took him aside and expressed his displeasure with the comments that were being made. He made it clear that further words to this end would not be tolerated. He said that he did it calmly and with no loss of energy and emotion but still made the point.
Jeff was in attendance after an absence of a month. Work, travel and the boys’ schedule prevented him from attending the previous meetings. He was feeling a little run down. He admitted to not taking care of himself by way of exercise, meditation and time alone, but felt that he was going to get back on track. His proposed action of moving back in with Victoria was questioned in a lively discussion regarding his continued relationship with Nora. This was a frank discussion that allowed Jeff to better understand his intentions in life. He has come to realize that he wants to relate to a woman on an emotional level and not on an analytical level. He is not sure that he can do this with Victoria, if she can do it or even if he wants to. Even thou he feels that he wants to exist with a woman on a "blue"(emotional level), he needs to have the "orange" analytical part of him to be an active part of any relationship. No comment of where Nora is in this situation. Jeff has continues to seek the truth about himself, and along with it a better understanding of himself and his place in this journey.
Warren shared the feeling that he was still involved with Sally because she still portrays the greatest challenge to him. If he can control himself around her and her activities, he can feel safe in his actions around other women that will be in his life.
Rob recounted the last several weeks of his life with the emotions and turn of events relating to Cory learning that he and Dana have an older brother. The group was quite shocked at this information and turn of events. It will be point of discussion over the next little while. Jeff was a little concerned until he understood that Rob would be open to allowing the older son locate both parents.
December
Much has happened in the past little while.
Finally, today we had a major dump of snow. Everything is white and clean. The air is crisp and cold.
Rob meet Susan for coffee, supper and then some shopping for Christmas gifts. The feelings were light and enjoyable.
Last Thursday, we met for supper with Dr. Joe.
Jeff postponed his eastern trip due to his uncle's sudden death, so was able to attend the supper. He stayed for a short time and then left for a family gathering. Everett, Peter, Warren Rob and Hector were also in attendance. The two and half hours went quickly as Dr. Joe reacquainted himself with all our activities. Dr. Joe filled us in on his travels to South Africa.
Everett stayed in Edmonton, to be able to attend the dinner; his work in Edson is just about finished. He has moved into his new home, is in good spirits and hopes to slow down his pace during the Christmas season.
Jeff shared with us his decision to cut off his ties with Nora and move back into his old home with Victoria. He said he would be doing this in the following week. Joe observed that Jeff still has his new home intact and waiting.
Peter was surprised and pleased by his wife's early arrival from school, an unusual event. She left work early to spend time with her husband, Peter and their son Eric.
Warren continues to work on a major consulting project for the Provincial government as an assistant. He is quite comfortable in this new role, less stress and less decision making, he shared. He chatted with Dr. Joe about his new found ability to allow Sally her freedom to make decisions regarding the house renovations.
Hector, as a single father, shared with us his frustration surrounding his older son's confrontational behaviors.
Rob's car had been stolen the previous night from his son's apartment building. Rob had been in Calgary attending an informational meeting for his company.
Rob had met with Nora at her request, the previous Friday for coffee and to serve as a listening post. Nora is still coming to terms that she is unable to let go of Jeff. After listening for a short period, Rob encouraged Nora to express what she wanted to occur for herself. Not what she thought Jeff should do, or what Victoria should do, but what Nora should do.
Nora was able to clarify his desires and wishes, her current situation and her need for congruent direction. She left less emotional than she arrived. Two days later, Sunday, Rob was informed by Nora that events had brought Jeff, Nora and Victoria together at Jeff's home. After several hours of emotional but controlled exchange of emotion, information and knowledge, an agreement was reached. Nora decided to take control of her life, get on with her life and let Jeff follow his wishes and desires to move in with Victoria and try to make their marriage work again.
The difference in each of us is apparent in how we view the emotional and physical movement in our environment. This lack of definite decision making by Jeff and Nora in what they want to do is very frustrating to me. Neither one wants to change the game they are playing. I see Jeff unable to move past his historical feelings of family, children and what society dictates for him. I feel that Nora has decided to hold on for dear life to something that she fears will never visit her again. She is very cunning and skillful. I am afraid to get caught in the middle, used by either of them and blamed for the problem. I am unsettled by being contacted by either one of them for fear of causing the situation to become worse. This is not where I want to end up.
I am a little apprehensive that Jeff has left a message that I call him at his office on Thursday.
Rob’s car was recovered by the Edmonton city police and the driver was arrested. No major damage was found on the car and should be returned soon
The Month end work ended well.
The relaxed atmosphere of the commercial flight course is a pleasure for Rob. Reviewing the information and gaining an insight to some new aspects of flying is a pleasure for him.
Changes are apparent at the company Rob works for; with the logo change that highlights the new corporate name making the current company name a secondary product. The possible change in job positions, personnel and the new corporate outlook are all having an effect on the people in this division.
Susan is feeling a little off at the moment, the work situation at the office has perplexed her. She is questioning her loyalty to those around her and it is causing her some anguish.
Cory has settled into the finality that he must find some day to day work to supplement the money that is required to live.
Rob has managed to relax after the confusion of the weekend and loss of control; it was a minor fluctuation that has proved to provide an insight into his belief system.
November
Peter, Warren, Jeff and Rob were in attendance.
Peter was able to address a concern he had with a fellow worker during the week. After months of enduring comments about his work schedule by the co – worker, Peter took him aside and expressed his displeasure with the comments that were being made. He made it clear that further words to this end would not be tolerated. He said that he did it calmly and with no loss of energy and emotion but still made the point.
Jeff was in attendance after an absence of a month. Work, travel and the boys’ schedule prevented him from attending the previous meetings. He was feeling a little run down. He admitted to not taking care of himself by way of exercise, meditation and time alone, but felt that he was going to get back on track. His proposed action of moving back in with Victoria was questioned in a lively discussion regarding his continued relationship with Nora. This was a frank discussion that allowed Jeff to better understand his intentions in life. He has come to realize that he wants to relate to a woman on an emotional level and not on an analytical level. He is not sure that he can do this with Victoria, if she can do it or even if he wants to. Even thou he feels that he wants to exist with a woman on a "blue"(emotional level), he needs to have the "orange" analytical part of him to be an active part of any relationship. No comment of where Nora is in this situation. Jeff has continues to seek the truth about himself, and along with it a better understanding of himself and his place in this journey.
Warren shared the feeling that he was still involved with Sally because she still portrays the greatest challenge to him. If he can control himself around her and her activities, he can feel safe in his actions around other women that will be in his life.
Rob recounted the last several weeks of his life with the emotions and turn of events relating to Cory learning that he and Dana have an older brother. The group was quite shocked at this information and turn of events. It will be point of discussion over the next little while. Jeff was a little concerned until he understood that Rob would be open to allowing the older son locate both parents.
December
Much has happened in the past little while.
Finally, today we had a major dump of snow. Everything is white and clean. The air is crisp and cold.
Rob meet Susan for coffee, supper and then some shopping for Christmas gifts. The feelings were light and enjoyable.
Last Thursday, we met for supper with Dr. Joe.
Jeff postponed his eastern trip due to his uncle's sudden death, so was able to attend the supper. He stayed for a short time and then left for a family gathering. Everett, Peter, Warren Rob and Hector were also in attendance. The two and half hours went quickly as Dr. Joe reacquainted himself with all our activities. Dr. Joe filled us in on his travels to South Africa.
Everett stayed in Edmonton, to be able to attend the dinner; his work in Edson is just about finished. He has moved into his new home, is in good spirits and hopes to slow down his pace during the Christmas season.
Jeff shared with us his decision to cut off his ties with Nora and move back into his old home with Victoria. He said he would be doing this in the following week. Joe observed that Jeff still has his new home intact and waiting.
Peter was surprised and pleased by his wife's early arrival from school, an unusual event. She left work early to spend time with her husband, Peter and their son Eric.
Warren continues to work on a major consulting project for the Provincial government as an assistant. He is quite comfortable in this new role, less stress and less decision making, he shared. He chatted with Dr. Joe about his new found ability to allow Sally her freedom to make decisions regarding the house renovations.
Hector, as a single father, shared with us his frustration surrounding his older son's confrontational behaviors.
Rob's car had been stolen the previous night from his son's apartment building. Rob had been in Calgary attending an informational meeting for his company.
Rob had met with Nora at her request, the previous Friday for coffee and to serve as a listening post. Nora is still coming to terms that she is unable to let go of Jeff. After listening for a short period, Rob encouraged Nora to express what she wanted to occur for herself. Not what she thought Jeff should do, or what Victoria should do, but what Nora should do.
Nora was able to clarify his desires and wishes, her current situation and her need for congruent direction. She left less emotional than she arrived. Two days later, Sunday, Rob was informed by Nora that events had brought Jeff, Nora and Victoria together at Jeff's home. After several hours of emotional but controlled exchange of emotion, information and knowledge, an agreement was reached. Nora decided to take control of her life, get on with her life and let Jeff follow his wishes and desires to move in with Victoria and try to make their marriage work again.
The difference in each of us is apparent in how we view the emotional and physical movement in our environment. This lack of definite decision making by Jeff and Nora in what they want to do is very frustrating to me. Neither one wants to change the game they are playing. I see Jeff unable to move past his historical feelings of family, children and what society dictates for him. I feel that Nora has decided to hold on for dear life to something that she fears will never visit her again. She is very cunning and skillful. I am afraid to get caught in the middle, used by either of them and blamed for the problem. I am unsettled by being contacted by either one of them for fear of causing the situation to become worse. This is not where I want to end up.
I am a little apprehensive that Jeff has left a message that I call him at his office on Thursday.
Rob’s car was recovered by the Edmonton city police and the driver was arrested. No major damage was found on the car and should be returned soon
Monday, July 04, 2005
Back Home
November
The warm, moist weather over the last week has caused fog, rain and drizzle in the city area. To some it is quite dreary, but to others there is a quiet beauty in the weather.
The group has met several times since we have returned from the trip. Everett has shown up a couple of times, but has allowed his work to interfere with his attendance. Nothing has been heard of Jim. Jeff has decided to get together with Victoria again, back at her house. After the post nuptial agreement is signed, he will move in and work to create a marriage that will last for a life time. He and Victoria are fine tuning the analytical aspect of their relationship to ensure that the relationship will grow. The emotional part of life that Jeff has so enjoyed with Nora has been put aside for now. I don't know how Jeff will achieve the balance that he is seeking by continuing on the analytical, business like motions that caused his marriage to come to sudden stop several years ago.
Peter, upon arriving home, experienced the sensation that his wife was not present in their relationship. After several weeks of discussion, they have managed to understand each other, their feelings and frustrations.
Eric; their son has been at several Thursday afternoons to share his dad's life. Eric is a very pleasant and mature young man.
Warren has been working for several weeks in Ontario, completing some consulting work that he started last year. He has spent some time with Sally, on his terms without enabling her confusion and anxiety over the renovations in her house. Warren has not gone for lunch with his enchanting hair dresser.
Rob returned from the sailing trip quite exhilarated and tired; should have taken a couple days in Victoria to relax. Cory could have handled any of the work that came from his company. Seeing and getting reacquainted with Susan was a very pleasurable experience. Work was quite hectic for a week, until things were caught up or delegated. Cory was pleased to see me and enjoyed the sweater he received. Dana expressed his pleasure at the gifts he received for his birthday and from the island. He turned 24 in Oct. Work is going well for him. He is quite busy. He is getting a good reputation in the industry and among the crews. Linda and he are getting along well. I understand that he bought her a ring of some significance in October.
October brought a very low mood to Rob, a depression that is very evident every year at this time. With knowledge of the effects and parameters of the mood he was able to exist throughout the month without any major troubles. He was appreciative of Susan's help during the month. She has a kind way and wise appreciation of people's needs. She certainly has added to his quality of life.
Cory continues to experience a level of poverty that is frustrating to him, He is following his dream of creating designs, but the monetary rewards are slow to come. Trevor continues to try to create a position in Atlanta but the efforts are slow. Hopefully, Cory’s dream of working in the states and enjoying the change of life will come about soon, and I will miss him.
Cory, in his effort to understand his childhood illness had requested information from his doctor. To his surprise he learned of the some personal information about his father and mother. He had the courage to ask me about this event. His questions were reasonable and enlightened. He passed on this knowledge to his mom, and allowed her to fill him in on her understanding of the event. I have suggested that he tell her that she could contact Dana if she wanted. Her relationship with Dana would grow from this contact. If she doesn't want to I will discuss the event with Dana. With the information I will post an item on the appropriate board to allow the boy to contact the father and mother. It is with a certain amount of anticipation and anxiety that I allow this event to occur. What's the worse thing that can happen, nothing, but many fine things can come of this occurrence. Cory certainly would like to meet his brother. Hopefully Dana is of the same mind. Linda, I hope is comfortable with the events as they are occurring.
November - large snow flakes are drifting to earth.
White and fluffy, the cool air mass has turned the rain to snow and winter. People’s spirits will brighten with the new clean snow and the anticipation of Christmas. The grayness and brown earth will be covered to reappear in the spring.
An unusual turn of events at the Thursday gathering; both Jim and Hector showed up. Rob, Peter and Warren arrived at the café in that order. We caught up on our lives since we had not been together for several weeks. Peter and his wife had purchased a new car. Warren was helping in a project with a Governmental department. Rob discussed what was happening at work.
Hector arrived much earlier than usual. His situation has not changed much, although the level of stress has diminished a little. He is occupying the lower portion of the house while his wife is settled into the upper half. His job has settled down a little after the move to a new building. Having stated that things are unchanged, Hector passed on to us that his wife had made an offer to purchase a home and move out on her own. The down payment would have been Hector's payment from his parents representing his wife's share of the house they are currently living in. His contention is that they have been apart or separated as he sees it that the process of separation (divorce) has started. His reluctance to get advice from a lawyer is very evident. This decision is quite troubling to some of us. Hector does not want to be the “bad guy” in this situation.
About this time Jim wandered into the group. With a great deal of energy he settled into the group. Peter encouraged him to bring us up to date on his activities of the last 5 months. He shared with us that he and Cathy from Grimshaw had parted ways. Several weeks later, at a band gathering, he meet a girl he felt was almost perfect. Since she had to change addresses and look for a new place to stay, Jim suggested that she move into his place and rent a room. This was two or three weeks after they had meet. The relationship is considerably more than platonic at the moment.
Jim and Hector continued the discussion regarding the appearance of separation and the value of shared wealth between two parties that are together. Warren was an observer, while Peter pursued the discussion relative to Jim’s perfect new woman. Rob tried to keep up with the discussion and tried to understand what made Jim appear at this time. His comfort level with a new relationship, which has no discomfort, has made himself feel good about himself again. He is still excited about the chase that is occurring with this woman and has had no challenging thoughts about future entanglements. Soon it was 7:30 and everyone parted company.
Jeff and Everett did not make an appearance in the following week. Everett still ensuring his business does not allow him to consider what he is doing in life and Jeff had his children this week. This pre supposes that fact that he has not moved back into his old home.
The warm, moist weather over the last week has caused fog, rain and drizzle in the city area. To some it is quite dreary, but to others there is a quiet beauty in the weather.
The group has met several times since we have returned from the trip. Everett has shown up a couple of times, but has allowed his work to interfere with his attendance. Nothing has been heard of Jim. Jeff has decided to get together with Victoria again, back at her house. After the post nuptial agreement is signed, he will move in and work to create a marriage that will last for a life time. He and Victoria are fine tuning the analytical aspect of their relationship to ensure that the relationship will grow. The emotional part of life that Jeff has so enjoyed with Nora has been put aside for now. I don't know how Jeff will achieve the balance that he is seeking by continuing on the analytical, business like motions that caused his marriage to come to sudden stop several years ago.
Peter, upon arriving home, experienced the sensation that his wife was not present in their relationship. After several weeks of discussion, they have managed to understand each other, their feelings and frustrations.
Eric; their son has been at several Thursday afternoons to share his dad's life. Eric is a very pleasant and mature young man.
Warren has been working for several weeks in Ontario, completing some consulting work that he started last year. He has spent some time with Sally, on his terms without enabling her confusion and anxiety over the renovations in her house. Warren has not gone for lunch with his enchanting hair dresser.
Rob returned from the sailing trip quite exhilarated and tired; should have taken a couple days in Victoria to relax. Cory could have handled any of the work that came from his company. Seeing and getting reacquainted with Susan was a very pleasurable experience. Work was quite hectic for a week, until things were caught up or delegated. Cory was pleased to see me and enjoyed the sweater he received. Dana expressed his pleasure at the gifts he received for his birthday and from the island. He turned 24 in Oct. Work is going well for him. He is quite busy. He is getting a good reputation in the industry and among the crews. Linda and he are getting along well. I understand that he bought her a ring of some significance in October.
October brought a very low mood to Rob, a depression that is very evident every year at this time. With knowledge of the effects and parameters of the mood he was able to exist throughout the month without any major troubles. He was appreciative of Susan's help during the month. She has a kind way and wise appreciation of people's needs. She certainly has added to his quality of life.
Cory continues to experience a level of poverty that is frustrating to him, He is following his dream of creating designs, but the monetary rewards are slow to come. Trevor continues to try to create a position in Atlanta but the efforts are slow. Hopefully, Cory’s dream of working in the states and enjoying the change of life will come about soon, and I will miss him.
Cory, in his effort to understand his childhood illness had requested information from his doctor. To his surprise he learned of the some personal information about his father and mother. He had the courage to ask me about this event. His questions were reasonable and enlightened. He passed on this knowledge to his mom, and allowed her to fill him in on her understanding of the event. I have suggested that he tell her that she could contact Dana if she wanted. Her relationship with Dana would grow from this contact. If she doesn't want to I will discuss the event with Dana. With the information I will post an item on the appropriate board to allow the boy to contact the father and mother. It is with a certain amount of anticipation and anxiety that I allow this event to occur. What's the worse thing that can happen, nothing, but many fine things can come of this occurrence. Cory certainly would like to meet his brother. Hopefully Dana is of the same mind. Linda, I hope is comfortable with the events as they are occurring.
November - large snow flakes are drifting to earth.
White and fluffy, the cool air mass has turned the rain to snow and winter. People’s spirits will brighten with the new clean snow and the anticipation of Christmas. The grayness and brown earth will be covered to reappear in the spring.
An unusual turn of events at the Thursday gathering; both Jim and Hector showed up. Rob, Peter and Warren arrived at the café in that order. We caught up on our lives since we had not been together for several weeks. Peter and his wife had purchased a new car. Warren was helping in a project with a Governmental department. Rob discussed what was happening at work.
Hector arrived much earlier than usual. His situation has not changed much, although the level of stress has diminished a little. He is occupying the lower portion of the house while his wife is settled into the upper half. His job has settled down a little after the move to a new building. Having stated that things are unchanged, Hector passed on to us that his wife had made an offer to purchase a home and move out on her own. The down payment would have been Hector's payment from his parents representing his wife's share of the house they are currently living in. His contention is that they have been apart or separated as he sees it that the process of separation (divorce) has started. His reluctance to get advice from a lawyer is very evident. This decision is quite troubling to some of us. Hector does not want to be the “bad guy” in this situation.
About this time Jim wandered into the group. With a great deal of energy he settled into the group. Peter encouraged him to bring us up to date on his activities of the last 5 months. He shared with us that he and Cathy from Grimshaw had parted ways. Several weeks later, at a band gathering, he meet a girl he felt was almost perfect. Since she had to change addresses and look for a new place to stay, Jim suggested that she move into his place and rent a room. This was two or three weeks after they had meet. The relationship is considerably more than platonic at the moment.
Jim and Hector continued the discussion regarding the appearance of separation and the value of shared wealth between two parties that are together. Warren was an observer, while Peter pursued the discussion relative to Jim’s perfect new woman. Rob tried to keep up with the discussion and tried to understand what made Jim appear at this time. His comfort level with a new relationship, which has no discomfort, has made himself feel good about himself again. He is still excited about the chase that is occurring with this woman and has had no challenging thoughts about future entanglements. Soon it was 7:30 and everyone parted company.
Jeff and Everett did not make an appearance in the following week. Everett still ensuring his business does not allow him to consider what he is doing in life and Jeff had his children this week. This pre supposes that fact that he has not moved back into his old home.
