A Mens' Group

Monday, May 28, clear with clouds building, extreme winds +56 km, + 25
The supper at Cheryl's last night was enjoyable.
Met Daryl, her boyfriend, at long last, he seems to be an agreeable sort of fellow. Cheryl’s dad and partner, Merci, were at the house when I arrived. Mother and Cheryl’s younger sister, Lesel were also present. Cheryl’s brothers showed up later in the evening with some of their “Mud Bogging crew”. Terry was quite pleased with his weekend of dancing with Merci. “TJ”, Cheryl’s son, has grown up nicely and plays by himself with toys including his Nintendo on the TV. Lesel is as beautiful as ever and brings a great deal of confidence with her because of her job in San Francisco. Mother was pleasant but was a little unhappy that Cheryl has changed jobs again. I am sure mother did not sleep well last night.
Gillian called to talk with Lesel, asking her if she was able to come to her son’s wedding in Austria. Most of the family are still not able to understand how important the attendance of the family to Simon’s wedding is to Gillian. They also do not see the value of attending the function and how little they would miss at home by going to this once in a life time event. It is easier, they think, to make up excuses why they cannot go then to see what they will gain by going.
I spent the morning looking at new rental units on the south end of the city. The prices for the new places are higher (100 to 175 dollars) for places that are not as nice. The only interesting unit is the one bedroom and loft in the south end of the city. The move-in date of Sunday, July 1 is not a good day considering I have to work on that day. Aug 1 is on a Wednesday which would be much better.
I am not sure why I am moving to the south side? Is it to rescue a relationship that has changed in Susan's mind to the degree that she is no longer interested? Am I doing a positive thought process that will, by moving closer to her, show her that I am determined to save this relationship? I will have to talk to Warren about these things during or after our squash games.
I am going to call Susan, the bird lady, this evening to try to talk with her. I do not know if she is out of town and did not get my message or is just ignoring me? This should clear it up one way or the other. It will make me feel sad if she is not interested in continuing the discussion we had at Shirley's party. I do not know what to expect? The feeling of loss in not talking to Susan over the past few days has not been as great as before and will continue to subside as time passes. I am not sure how much I will miss her when she is on her trip up north.
Susan’s friend called last night to chat. She is concerned about what is happening between us after she had talked to Susan. Her husband, Fred is working up in Fort McMurray on a regular basis.
Dana called last night in a good mood. He had worked several days last week with Jason and was to work again this week. He said that Jason was in charge of a large Walt Disney movie that should last till August. He was told by Jason that he has continuous work as long as the shoot is in Toronto. This would enable Dana to get back on his feet again, financially and emotionally. Good for him. He is still low on money and asked for money to clear up a cell phone debt.
Tuesday, May 29, day turned cloudy and cool with rain all afternoon, +11
This should help dampen the massive forest fires that are occurring near the City of Slave Lake.
I had coffee at the north Timmy’s when Ann, Susan’s friend, appeared to pick up coffee and a donut for her break. We chatted a while about her work, then a little about the situation between Susan and myself. We had an open discussion about the situation. Her understanding of the situation was interesting. She feels that this separation is a temporary event.
This is getting to be a small world as far as I am concerned. To bump into her three times over the last two months all in different localities is quite an amazing coincidence. She is pleasant to talk to, though.
Since she enjoys golf there might be a golf game in it some time.
Tried to contact Susan, the bird lady, in the evening but she was not home. I did not leave a message. I will try to contact her again for coffee on Wednesday or Thursday.
Cheryl enthusiastically took the job at the hotel/ restaurant complex.
She and several others quit their positions at the hostel association because of the management and the board of directors. She commented that she may be moving to the area near her work over the summer to create a little stability for TJ. Mother is still quite perturbed by all this movement by Cheryl and her inability or desire to hold a long term job. I offered my opinion that it was Cheryl’s choice to be erratic, something she has done all her life.
Set up an appointment to get my car fixed (new clutch and a major tune up) next week. I will get it done so I do not receive any surprise breakdowns on the road. Now the timing belt is the only item to replace, but I know that I have 20 or 30 thousand Km more before I have to do it.
Warren and I played a great series of squash matches last night. He won the series but it was very close. I went into the match thinking that it was his turn to win because I won the last series. I played to win but not hard enough, I guess.
Derek called for lunch, but late, so I was in the middle of doing laundry and said we would do it another time.
I checked out several other apartment locations for prices and locations. The move and new apartments will be expensive. I will wait for a while and get some more information and possibly move Aug. 1, if I am still inclined and if I still feel a need to be on the south side to be closer to Susan.
Time moves on.
Wednesday, May 30, Raining all day finally, cool. +11,
The continuous rain will give a welcome relief to the land that has been dry for the last year. The massive fires north of Edmonton will be brought under control by these rains, I hope.
Talked with Susan for a minute to arrange a coffee meet on Thursday. She said that she did some more thinking after our meeting last week, I would have suspected so.
Very little is happening at the moment in home sales.
Neither of my clients has called back after the messages I left. It is up to them; I should not feel a rush to create closure. I am sure they are feeling under greater pressure than I am, to get something done. I can last for a long time under these conditions.
The single pay check from one home sale is enough to satisfy my needs for a couple of months.
A relaxed posture, being here and now as Warren says will allow me to enjoy these special moments that I am being granted.
I was able to get the prices and information necessary for me to order the battery for the computer from a local computer store.
I am going to lay my interest in Susan, the bird lady, to rest until she calls. If she is not interested and I push it, all it will do is frustrate both of us. If it happens -it happens, if not - oh well.
The thought of the where-abouts of Jim and Jeff has been in my mind over the past short while. I would hope that they reappear and join the group again. The possibility of meeting Nora again is remote but I would be pleased if it did occur.
May 31, Thursday, sunny and warm +23, rain in the forecast
The month is ending and June is upon us.
Had my teeth cleaned today which turned out ok but got the news that I might have some possible trouble around several teeth. The dentist would like to send me to a specialist. I am going back in three months for another cleaning and continued maintenance of the offending teeth. Not what I wanted to hear but these are the events of life.
I had a good meeting with one of my clients about their new home. They need further specific numbers on their wish list for our next meeting in the middle of June. The processing of the estate will be settled by the end of July at the latest and we can proceed. It is nice to feel that things are moving along.
Looking forward to seeing Susan tonight for coffee.
Small world, my client works in the same U of A department as Susan, the bird lady.
Cory called to share his joy about his new bike. Even he thinks it is quite an incredible bike. 24 gears that allow a rider to climb an almost vertical wall. He is having a great deal of fun with it. He is filling in for Dana on Jason's crew in Hamilton today. Dana has to pick up a friend from Sask. so cannot make the day's work. Dana has been working steady for the last week with continuous work for the foreseeable future. The Disney film is a go with major work for Dana starting on June 3/4. I was able to talk with Gillian for a short time last night after talking with Cory. Her two lady painter renters of the top room, paid, but did not stay the full month. Gillian said that she did an enormous amount of work hauling up painting tables and all the necessary things for the women and feels quite sad that they did not continue their stay. She is almost beside herself with sadness that no one from the West is going to Austria for Simon's wedding. She said that not many of Simon and Kathi's friends from Toronto have said they are going to the wedding in Austria. Gillian and Jason are going to have a great party for Simon and Kathi in Toronto at the end of September. I am sure that she will start insisting that those who did not go to Austria come to Toronto. She continues to ask as a child would, instead of asking once and leaving it alone. She has no insight to how debilitating this is for her. She feels quite slighted that she has done all these things, such as coming out west, and no one is doing enough to come to her son's wedding. The purchasing of Jason's suit to ensure that Simon's wishes were adhered to was quite the inspired touch by Jason. He has this ability to say no with the full knowledge that Gillian will rise to the occasion and arrange for the necessary work to do be done.
He will be in for a great loss when she is not able or willing to do this for him. If he gets a woman to act like Gillian she will not be able to make him happy. She will never be able to do enough for him. He will not be happy with a woman that does not do these things for him; he is quite spoiled by his mother.
The men are meeting at the Second cup because of the appointment that I have at the house.
Tomorrow is the massage that I am looking forward to. Odette is the new girl. I will have to ask Susan her experience in getting a massage by her.
June 2/ Saturday, cloudy with light splattering of rain +17
Odette is the daughter of Ernie the photographer from my home town. She has a very good technique. Had the massage in the morning, lunched at Gino's then went to Goose Hummock for a round of golf. The winds continue to blow briskly from the south east. The golfing was good, with my game adjusting to the wind whenever necessary. Had a excellent supper at a local restaurant than returned home to watch a little TV.
Susan called in the evening to talk about some thoughts she was having about her journey, personal and physical.
Luke is determined to travel to Europe this summer or fall to get some experience in life.
Susan’s niece, Kyla, says she wants to go but Susan does not think that she has the maturity or the distance from her mother to make it happen.
Met Susan for coffee at Chapter's on Thursday evening. She was frolicking around and being quite sexually aggressive throughout the evening. She is experimenting and exploring her desires at the moment, along with testing me to see how strong I can be in resisting her. She wants to be able to be free to search for things and still sample my life and intimacies. I will hold her at arms length to allow her to see the picture as a whole. She is acting like a teenager. She is willing to experiment with her life as she has not been able to do before. Her reluctance to become physically involved with another man to achieve what she is looking for is both amusing and entertaining. I have felt a small tinge of jealousy at this news.
Warren and I had another great series of squash games on Saturday morning. He informed me that Canada development bank has turned down his request for financing. They suggested that he did not want to grow fast enough for their requirements. He was a little sad about this information but we did not have a chance to discuss it further.
John and I made a call to a previous client to get more information about the status of the price reduction of the lot but I have not heard whether she has responded on Friday or Saturday. The meeting with another client went very well with the price point being accepted. We are fine tuning the requirements for the house with another meeting slated for the middle of June. The executor, his brother, will be in Edmonton at the beginning of July with the settlement of the estate during the month of July. They said, at that point they would commit to the new home.
The brisk wind continues from the south east. Clouds are building from the west, creating the potential of rain that is sorrowfully needed. The northern forests are still tinder dry. The jet stream looks like a wisp loop centering the dry heat that is centered over Alberta. The western prairies are drier than they have been in 75 years. It will be another difficult year for the farmers that are already on the brink of bankruptcy. Perhaps this will be a message to many of them to move on to another way of life and existence. The gardeners have arrived at the show home to plant the foliage that is required to make the courtyard the unique space that it was designed to be.
Tuesday, June 5. Sunny with cloudy periods, +21 , some winds
The two days of rain on the weekend was gratefully received by the fire fighters up north, the farmers and the public in general. Monday and Tuesday call for occasional showers with some winds out of the south east.
Susan left for up north on Sunday afternoon. I chatted with her in the morning before she left. She is still brimming over with expectations of fun and frivolity in her life. She is being quite a pixie in her actions and spontaneous relations with me. I am standing my ground if only to frustrate her and give her something hard to work her emotions against. We will see what her travels, discussions with Anne and her discontinuance of anti smoking drugs will bring. Two weeks - and I am lonely for her already; maybe because she is not in the city.
I had lunch with Derek on Monday. He has settled down a little after his anxiety attack (heart attack) scare. He is still aware of the fragility of life. But he is more aware of what he can control and what he can not. He was concerned about the lack of sales and the subsequent effect on my emotions as opposed to the financial concerns.
The routine is getting quite depressing and frustrating. My clients are not responding to any phone calls; one agreement is still a month and a half away; now the other deal is something I have to be apprehensive about. I am not sure whether he will commit to building a house or if he is just getting some information.
I will put a positive spin on it so we will achieve positive results. I will ask John to take part in the meeting with him on Wednesday night.
On the other hand, Mother is well. She is finding humor in Gillian's continuing discussion of the upcoming wedding and all the details that are not coming together fast enough.
Cory is working continually and enjoyed the day spent with Jason on set, when he took Dana's place. Dana reports that he has been working at a good place and is happy with what is happening; although the Walt Disney film that was to start this week has been postponed till the fall. Dana has company from Sask. for the past week and is quite happy showing her around Toronto.
I contacted Shirley for coffee but we cannot meet till next Thursday. I have decided to travel down to the south country on Thursday to golf if the weather is reasonable. I was able to do the service work (clutch replacement and major tune up) $1500 on Monday so the car will be road worthy. The mechanics did not find anything else that needed replacement at the moment. The brakes, steering, all belts and hoses were good. Timing belt, tires and windshield can be done in the fall.
I am having a difficult time dealing with the quietness of the situation but I remind myself that I am quite busy taking care of myself. This unreasonable demand on myself to be excessively busy is just a feeling that comes from my inner child when he becomes nervous. This too will pass.
Warren canceled the squash game last night because of business conflicts but we are meeting tonight to get some exercise in, perhaps coffee later.