A Mens' Group

Sunday, Oct. 14, Tuesday, Oct. 15 +12, Clear with light winds, and sunny, great autumn day
Traffic was brisk on Sunday. The strong wind and cold temperatures allowed people to do things indoor instead of their normal autumn tasks.
Spent the evening watching some playoff baseball.
Dana called to say that his cat had three kittens in his apartment and all involved were doing well. He will take care of them until he can give them away. He is doing well after working a couple days over the last few weeks.
Cory was busy but still managed to call. He suggested he may be going down to Atlanta to help set up the computers that Greg has purchased recently. He may stay longer for a visit if he can. Both are sounding well and getting along with life. Linda, their mother, may fly them down for Christmas with Dana staying a little longer to try and get some work while he is down there.
Jason, Susan’s son in law, has come down to Edmonton for a funeral in Sask. at the end of the week. He has sold the home in Fort St. John. He and Holly have looked at some more Showhome and are comfortable with building something. Susan has been getting along well with Holly and has started to work the afternoon shift at Nait for the week.
Played squash with Warren on Monday and won the games fairly easily. He was off a little or I was on a little bit. Who knows what happens when the mind is not present. He said that Peter was feeling a little left out because Warren had not called him when he had returned from Ottawa. I called and talked with Dr. Joe and have set up a dinner meeting with the all of us on Nov. 22 a Thursday. Dr. Tom said that he was setting up a practice in Canmore and will be working in the area several weeks of each month.
The weekend was a good one with Susan coming over with a coffee on Friday evening. We went out for Greek food on Saturday. Sunday she spent the day searching for rocks with Anne west of the city.
I was able to give her the space and acknowledge that we both knew what we were doing and it was not a threat to her or me. We meet for coffee on Tuesday morning and a chat about Gail, her friend and the weight that Gail enjoys carrying around.
The month is coming along nicely with only a few down times where I question the slowness and lack of excitement that is occurring in my life. I know that it is only the “October energies” that surround me to cause these feelings. Quietness is not a threat to my existence I tell myself. The inquiries and steps that I am taking are accomplishing the correct events that I am sure will be beneficial to my well being.
I purchased some very fine sheets for the bed in my apartment with only a twinge of hesitancy about the money that I was spending on myself.

Wed. Oct 17, clear but windy, +11
Went for my monthly massage with Odette which was a great experience as always. She spends a little more time when she does a morning massage than a late afternoon because she is a lot fresher.
I drove out to Spruce Grove to look at a lot that the woman from out of town said she wanted to build her home on. I talked to John and he said that he would get me the price and size information that I required.
Cory called last night, very frustrated with Gillian's attitude toward his belief's and work ethics. I listened to him and let him vent. He will do something to bring this to an end. I told him whatever he did it would not change my attitude towards him. He will have to do what he thinks is necessary, even if it is to come home to Edmonton or go to Regina. He would have a great deal more fun with his biking in the mountains than he is having in Toronto. The female situation would be different out here but he will make do. Dana will let him stay at his place if he is still around in January when Dana stays in Regina. Cory will be going down to Atlanta for a while at the end of the month, which will remove him from the problem that is creating itself.
Gillian probably has no knowledge of all the energy that she has at the moment. I won't be able to talk with her for a while because of the focus she has on her needs to change people and things. Simon and Kathi are staying at arm's length and are busy at work.
Cory said that he will be collecting EI for 20 weeks. I made him say that I was correct in stating that he would qualify. I had to bug him a little bit about him saying that it would be impossible for him to collect because he was fired. Maybe Dad does know something. I am keeping it at arms length and I am sure that they, Cory, Gillian and Dana will work out their relationship to the best of their abilities. The boys will not associate with her anymore than they have to. Cory will move out and use this past year as a learning experience.
She will ask me but will not understand what is happening even after I explain it to her. She cannot comprehend that there is anyway to live except the way she sees to live. Her statements about her sons, especially Jason and all the people who are against him and what he does, are a little frightening. To her, her boy can do no wrong, she is certain. He is the major creator of his problems and takes no blame or responsibility for his actions. He is very adept at getting Gillian to handle and take the point on any problems he is creating. She will not stop and see what he is doing and he will not do anything to change the dance they are in. He is old enough to know better but old enough to know how to manipulate her. Simon, being married to a strong willed woman, is more insulated now. He is less selfish and will not impose himself on Gillian. Gillian's friends will not take the time to try and change her because they do not have the time or the energy to do so. They have their lives to live and can step away far enough so they do not get frustrated.

Thursday, Oct. 18, Sunday, Oct. 21 clear and sunny + 9
Some good traffic on Sunday.
An older couple came in and suggested they are tired of living in Millwoods with the declining neighborhood. They were impressed with the Cascade, took a great deal of information and will talk more about the house, changes, location and their wish list. Good possibility. Called a client and talked briefly with him about the price increases. He said that he and his wife are in the midst of a divorce so things are to be put off for a while. Who knows what can happen.
Spent last night watching the World Series playoffs and some hockey.
Relaxing evening, Susan was off for supper with Gail so they could talk about the problems of their children. The police have charged the woman for running a red light and colliding with Luke’s car. This will be relief for Luke, now her insurance company will pay for the repair of his car. He would be advised to take the money and purchase a new car instead of repairing the unit because of massive body damage. I told Holly to check out the home guide section of the paper to get a better understanding of the hidden costs of building and owning a new home.
Saturday was busy but no good clients for the future. Kimberley and her Darryl did not come in and are not answering their phone. They may be in BC for the funeral.
I moved some money around to get some use of it. That is not a concern at the moment. Warren was not feeling well, so we have not played our regular squash games. He is off to Ottawa on Tuesday. Maybe we will get a game in on Monday night. I have told everyone about the supper we have arranged with Dr. Tom for November.
Lucy called from Vancouver on Sunday. It was a pleasure to hear from her. It has been about three years since we lasted talked. She has changed locations and is now working for a Chrysler dealership in Burnaby. She got married last year to an executive for a cookie company and sounds very happy. She is enjoying golfing and the relationship she is in. Her family is in Edmonton and doing well. I will arrange to see her if she is available for lunch.
Neither Cory nor Lillian has called since last week. It would seem that they have come to consensus with their relationship. Cory may even have found a job or gone to Atlanta for Greg. They will find a way of working out their difficulties.
I expect the kittens Dana is taking care of have opened their eyes and are becoming a bit of a handful. Good for him. The job situation will ease for him soon I expect.
Susan if feeling good about herself and is enjoying having Holly and her family around. Jason is down for a few days to attend a funeral in Sask. He is going back to finish up with the house detail and get ready to move to the city. He will be starting to work for the RCMP in Sherwood Park at the beginning of November.
I have put away the golf clubs for the season. The snow will stay away till the middle of November with the weather remaining mild I predict.
I should get some new tires after the 15 of November.

Monday, Oct. 22, Tuesday Oct 23, snowing for the last two days, cloudy +1 winter time
Winter has come, woke up to white ground and cold stuff falling from the sky.
The start of winter time; it has been snowing since late Sunday night. The weather is to warm up to the plus 10's this weekend but I doubt if the snow will disappear. I expect the traffic to slow down to a crawl this week except for the people who are really interested. I have a few people who are kind of interested but I will wait to see what is going to happen.
Luke found out that the lady has no insurance so will not be able to pay for the repair of his car. He talked to a lawyer who has given him some advice on how to proceed. Jason has gone back to work and will be down at the end of the month he is quite sure. I drove out to see the Ironwood home that Holly is interested in Lakeland Ridge in town. It is not much from the outside but she says the inside is very interesting. I will try to have a look at it and get a plan if I am able.
Mother was quite talkative last night and we will have lunch on Wednesday as usual. She has talked to Grace and will see her when she comes into Edmonton.
Susan talked to Susan and Fred about getting together on Friday evening for supper and cake and it should be arranged for Tony Roma's. They are having a difficult time with Kelsey and her boyfriend. The boyfriend is removing himself from her life and has taken up with another girl. Kelsey is not willing to let him go and is not sure that she should keep Samantha. Fred and Sue are saying that it is up to her, in what she wants to do but will not allow the child to leave their company. Kelsey has some tough decisions to make if Fred and Sue create the situation that will allow her to do that. It is getting tougher as it goes along.
Dana called to say that he still has no steady work but is trying. I suggested that he contact his mother if he is in need of any money for rent. He said that there may be some work in Regina so he will be going down sooner than Christmas and Cory can take over his apartment and the raising of the kittens.
I talked to my client again over the weekend to bring him information about the price increases. He informed me that he was still interested but he and his wife were getting a divorce so the time frame would have to be put off for a while. More important issues have occurred in his life than building a home at the moment. I wished him the best and said that he could contact me when he was ready.
I was browsing through a book on Magic tricks at Chapters yesterday and have found it to be quite interesting. I will follow this up with some more reading and perhaps some practice to learn some of the tricks. Mathew, Susan’s grandson, would appreciate and enjoy them, perhaps. I will look at getting some books on writing so I can get a better idea about putting words together in the form of a story or in a form that is readable. I anticipated flying this week but the snow and clouds have put a stop to that idea for a while. The weather will clear and I will make a point of getting up by myself and then getting together with Christine to do some night flying. It certainly is nice to have covered parking with this snow that is coming down and the cold temperatures that are expected during the weather. The car will appreciate the easy starting in the mornings and the battery will perhaps last some extra time. I know that it was having a hard time on some of the cold winter mornings when it was parked outside last year. I should get some new tires but I expect that the tire places are very busy during these days of snow and bad driving conditions.
Life is very good at the moment and I expect it to stay good and get even better. I am not anxious about the sales not coming quickly. My debts are becoming less as the months go by. The cash required to live will be that much less, so I can last another 5 months before I have to sell a house. Dana will start working full time before the New Year and will start paying me back some of the money he owes me. Even if he does not have much cash at least he will not need my help. The deal with Cam should be coming together, although I have not been able to get hold of John to find out more about it.
Things are good.

Wednesday, Oct. 24, Thursday, Oct. 25 sunny, clear +4
Well, today is my birthday, 53 years old. My, what a great time we have had. I have put another year together in the grandest of fashions. No regrets or rather only a few and those are of very little importance, except as marker points in the passage of time knowledge and experience. I have not flown enough but that has been my choice in terms of money and time. That will be rectified over the next few months, with the winter air and calm that will occur with the cooling of the temperatures. The coolness will make for great daytime and night time flying. Christine will help me with getting checked out in the new 172 and help me revisit the night time flying.
The past two days have been very quiet as far as showhome traffic is concerned. I spent some time finding the lot information for the realtor, Nola, and the information that I can find for Holly and Jason. We, Susan, Holly and Mathew will drive out to Leduc to see the Richmond show home on Friday to get a better sense of what Holly desires.
Hector and Peter showed up for the group meeting. Warren is in Ottawa and Everett is not calling to say whether he was coming.
Hector filled us in on his dinner date on Saturday last. The evening was just ok but he was put off by the woman indecision and lack of energy. She was acceptable in the looks department but he was uncomfortable that she could not make up her mind easily and was not a robust person. Half way through the dinner she commented that she was sure that they had no future because so many things were incompatible between them. It relieved Hector from making the same comment as he felt the same way. They spent a span of 2 1/2 hours at dinner than went for a walk until it was time to take her home. He is going to send her an e-mail that it was nice but there is no future in spending any more time together. The lady that was running the dating service, he paid for, called him to pass on another name for him to call and chat with. He was going to do so, in a short span of time.
Peter was ok with his life except for some information and request for payment from the car rental company in Winnipeg that was requesting money for extra gas and a repair for the damage on the van he rented. He was some upset and informed them that he had filled the tank before he dropped off the van and the van had a dent in it when he picked it up. They called back that it was their mistake and all was well. It would seem that they were hopping he would be a business expense client and ignore the added costs.
An expression of thought and desires for the upcoming year.
The upcoming year will be a great year.
I will fly more and enjoy longer trips in the airplane.
I will play more golf with some new clubs that I will purchase during the winter months.
The homes that I will sell will total 12 during the next 12 months.
I will take care of myself by working out by playing squash with Warren and working out at the YMCA as much as I feel comfortable with.
I will continue to get regular massages for the relaxation of the body and the soul. I will make a point of relating with Susan.
I will make a greater effort to spend more time with Fred over the next year.
I will learn a couple more skills, magic and learning how to write a book or a journal that may be of interest to other people.
I will keep a reasonable distance form my boys, Cory and Dana to allow them to continue to grow and mature as adults and successful young men, but at the same time give them as much assistance and help as will help them.
I will stay in contact with Gillian to ensure that she is able to make the transition in her life and still maintain her health and mental well being.
I will invest as much money as possible with Derek and my own vehicle to ensure a fund in the future and the enjoyment of reacting to the market.
I will not allow the daily irritants of life to create an atmosphere that is draining and bothersome.
This I will do to the best of my ability.
This is a neutral life we live. We make of it what we want. We decide how we react to the events that occur around us. The mental state that we create in our life allows us to justify the actions or reactions that we take in response to our perceptions. It is an easy out that is uppermost in our own context. Therein lies the key to our ability to win over or lose to the actions of others that we are close to or far from.

Sunday, Oct. 28, clear, sunny and warm +8
Saturday was slow because of the light rain and snow.
Watched some world series baseball, Arizona Diamond backs won the first game over the Yankees 9-1. Pitching was the key, with the Yankee pitcher making some poor pitches and the fielders committing some errors to allow the win. Second game tonight is tonight.
Called Cory last night and talked to Gillian for a few minutes because he had gone out for the evening to do the Halloween thing.
Picked up Susan later and we went out for coffee and a piece of birthday cake. Went over to her place to watch a DVD movie but the units were not hooked up correctly so we watched a movie on T.V. Mathew was up so the event was a little hectic until he was put to bed. Came home and watched a little tube, turned the clocks back because a day light savings time and went to bed.
The traffic on Sunday is good with a couple of interested couple, one from Camrose and a couple from Donsdale. Some potential there with these people.
The days are good with the month of October coming to an end and with it the possibility of getting depressed close to an end and all the frustration that comes with it.
Warren has not called as to if and when he has returned from his trip to Ottawa. We should get some games in this week. I certainly miss the activity that squash brings.
Susan said that she will try to arrange a racquetball game for tonight.
Susan and I discussed the small problems that our children are encountering as they grow up. They are not major in real terms but seem to be a great deal when they are going through it. The parents are the ones that have to be careful in how they are reacting to it. Sue and Fred are coming to terms with the difficulties the Kelsey is going through and the seemingly insurmountable problems that are in her way.

Monday, Oct. 29, Thursday, Nov. 1, sunny, clear and +9 warm fall day
Traffic on Monday was very slow with the weather being cold and windy.
I managed to pick up a sore throat from some children that came through with their parents.
I played squash with Warren in the evening although I felt off a little. We played like two elephants lumbering around the court because we had not played for so long. We tied in the number of games and had a good time all in all. He had mentioned that the week in Ottawa was good and productive but he came back feeling tired after all the mental and physical work he had put in with the groups and people he had met with.
Tuesday was a cold and dreary day that started a week with few people coming through the house. Those that came by were serious about building a home and something good should come from it. A previous homeowner who had a Rocksolid Home built for them is coming by on Saturday to discuss building a new home in a town outside of the city since he is now working there. He has the plan and size he wants from his discussions with John back in 1992. This should be good. The deal came together with Cam this week I am sure by all the work that John was doing. I will know for sure later next week and will be able to be paid in the next short while.
Jason is now established in town with his work routine. Things should be a little bit less hectic with him around. He will be able to spend some time with Holly and Mathew and the dog to spread out the work that is occurring in everyday life. I am continuing to find information for them and letting them come to any decision that they feel comfortable.
The men's group was active on Thursday with only Warren not showing up.
Peter shared the blow up he had with his son; the yelling and anger that he displayed because of something his son had not done. Hector related the same information about his children not listening to him when he was trying to make them do something that was necessary before they went to school. Everett talked about relaxing the intensity of work that he is involved in. He is taking time to relax during the day when he is working. He and Louise are planning to take a week off and holiday with their children in Jasper sometime before Christmas. He is looking forward to it. We all talked about what we like doing on a personal basis and how some of us never knew how to take time off and just enjoy things that we liked doing.
Hector is having coffee with the new lady who has the two large dogs and no children this coming Sunday. Everett talked about doing work and bidding contracts that cost him money. He knew he was going to lose money on the work but something was made him do it anyway work even though he knew that it was wrong. He was going to think about why he would do these things. He said that it had almost stopped in comparison to how much he had done it in the past. Louise and he are getting along very well. He said that she is finally relaxing after a month of being off work. Another two months will bring her to the level were she is relaxed enough to consider another type of work or venture.
I tried to go flying this week but the head cold has grounded me until it goes away. I checked out the available planes at the Edmonton Flying Club and several are available on Sunday morning. I will go up if the weather is passable.

Saturday, Nov. 3 Tuesday, Nov. 6 +1
Surprising news came by way of Warren after his lunch date with Jeff. Jeff was in a talkative mood when he and Warren had lunch in Edmonton last week. Jeff has decided not to move to Toronto with his wife and children to create a new business empire in that city. Instead he has resumed his contact with Nora to work things out, as he said to Warren. Warren was not to sure what that meant or he would not say. Jeff and Nora have met several times in the past weeks. I am not sure if Victoria knows of these meetings. This is a great disappointment to me. Jeff has no sense of finality and getting on with his life. He is training Nora very well and she is going along with it, for what ever reason. It is the old story of "I will get a divorce soon" but until then, let us be a couple, even if I do not tell my other partner. The emotion makes us all do strange things and act in ways that do not make logical sense. This is all I can chalk it up to. These two are further back than they were several years ago. Jeff cannot handle a happy situation. He will pay dearly for what he is doing at the moment with Nora. Victoria, when she finds out about this continuing relationship will be relentless in her punishment of Jeff. Maybe this is something that he has to have; the punishment for being bad, because of his upbringing. Jeff certainly needs some professional help, but I doubt that he will go for it. I hope he does.
Warren has created a new type of friendship relationship with Sally and is comfortable with how it is moving along. He has also allotted a certain amount of time to creating the new computer program for the internet site and business site that will allow him to expand his business and expertise across North America. The balance that he has at the moment is perhaps a little to much work, but he realizes that it is short time activity that he is balancing with fewer hours in the future.
Peter is still fixating over Linette's devotion and focus on the work she does at Kindergarten. He is rationalizing it and seems comfortable but is still holding a grudge deep down. He might feel that with the money and wealth they have, she does not have to work full time for the money, so with a part time morning job she should be able to be available and present for him and their son in the evenings and weekends. Peter has a great need to control and have order in his life. This is not to his liking and will continue to grate on him and his sensibilities. I think more than he is letting on. The traveling he is doing with his wife and son are to create a closeness among them. If this is the only time that she is present to him (not even totally) then his resentment of an ordered life will be tested. He made note of her determination to visit day care and kindergarten schools at the places that they will be visiting.
Everett is reducing the number of hours along with the intensity of the work he is involved in. He has come to the realization that he cannot be intense all day long. He has to relax during the day and just enjoy his surroundings and not be worried about his work all the time. He has been able to relax a little more around Louise and is communicating better with her than he did in the past. The built up frustration, from his insecurity is lessening as the weeks go by. His decision to create and plan a family trip to Jasper in December is a good indication that he is changing his focus so he can create a new balance in his life.
Hector is relating better to his ex wife and his children now that he has gained the confidence that he can be a great dad. I expect that he was overwhelmed with the prospect of raising the boys on his own. He is better with this possibility now. He is still concerned that he does not have a female influence in their lives. He seems to be determined to find a relationship that is permanent and will benefit both he and his children.
I am coping well with the quietness of my life at the moment. October and the possible depression that could occur was handled with care and sensitivity and did not present itself. The thoughts and consideration of contact with my previous partner to create some action and disruption, stress, in my life has been noted over the past month. It could be in line with the month of October feelings and nothing more than a self destructive thought. The thoughts are put off with the realization that the reality of contact would not lead to anything positive and will create the lose of Susan in my life.
My relationship with Susan is flowing quietly and peacefully with most of our expectations being fulfilled. The depth of our emotions is in sync most of the time. Although I feel a strange sensation that I cannot put into real thoughts.

Wednesday, Nov. 7 Nov 15, Thursday,
The week has been very warm and enjoyable for the season.
Work has been going very well with the traffic that is coming to the house, intent on making decisions. Terry and Alice from Leduc will confirm the building of a home in Leduc this week with John. John is to meet with Don and Heather with the preliminary plans for the home in Lakeshore. Barb came by with her husband to see the Artisan and make a decision before the end of the month because of raising home prices. The realtor should be able to quote a realistic price for their current home. The couple from north of town have confirmed that they will be in on the weekend to do up the papers for a new home. The lot is on hold till Monday and the price is to their liking.
Warren and Peter were not at the meeting this week. Everett missed the meeting last week. Hector and I have been at both. Peter is still not over Linnette's fixation on her work. Both Hector and I are worried about his mental state now that he is getting nose bleeds.
Hector replied to an ad in the local paper by sending a letter to a woman he found interesting. She called him and they went out for a quick glass of wine and some dinner on a Tuesday evening. He was quite taken with her and all her energy, activities and self assuredness. He will call her again to try and continue the contact. She is very busy with a great deal of things happening to her (his words). A type “A” personality that is intent on making things come about. He said that she is very sure of herself and knows what she wants. He had a glimmer in his eye as he talked about her.
Warren has been working at a constant pace with his new computer program he is creating for the internet company that could become a product used world wide if there is enough interest. He seems quite happy and has created a nice balance in his new relationship with Sally.
Last weekend was quite special with Susan getting together for a video on Saturday night at my place and then a game of racquetball on Sunday. I had a little bit of trouble with her actions but it was my problem and not hers. I was able to get over it by Monday. Rejection is still a problem for me and I seek it out any where I can if I get a chance.
I arranged to go flying with Christine and get checked out on the piper next week. I spent some time hanger flying the plane on Wednesday so I would have a little more knowledge of the aircraft when next week comes around. It will be fun. I will go out to the plane again on Friday and get more acquainted with it and do some real flying if the weather is OK.

Sunday, Nov. 18 Sunny, +3, lovely fall day
The fall weather continues to be beautiful with winter being put off one more day at a time. The snows continue in the mountains so the winter skiing should be fine.
Had a great time last night at a house party with Susan and her friends Anne, Irene and ?. Susan and I went to the Alberta Museum to have a look at the 60's retro show, walked in and were handed passes that said crew, sat down in the theatre , watched some live performances by the Kit Kat club singers (three women) a live band and some poetry reading. We went to see the display, met Anne and her friend and then had a buffet. The 60's theme with all the people dressed up was fabulous. We did not know a thing about it. Anne and her friends are volunteers for the duration of the show. We had a great time dancing and doing silly things. It was a great deal of fun and I did not feel out of place dancing with the three or four women around me. We will have to go back and go through the display in more detail to see exactly what they have.
The traffic is average for the time of year with the western final football game between Calgary and Edmonton in Edmonton this day. My client came in on Saturday to do the agreement for the new home. They will meet with John after he puts together the blue prints for them. We may have to move them to another lot in the same area to accommodate the garage the want.
The men's group went well with Hector, Everett and I in attendance. Peter and Warren were unable to make the meeting. I called Jim about the group supper meeting on Thursday; he was very pleased to hear from me and will be at the meeting. Warren has company in from out of town so was unable to make a squash game on Saturday.
I went flying on Friday for an hour. It was a beautiful day to fly. Did some steep turns and got to know the aircraft and feel a bit better about flying. I did complete the Piper pre exam for Tuesday for speed and procedures. I will look at them again before Tuesday when I meet with Christine. A new Diamond 2 seater aircraft was parked at the Club tarmac. The pilot was on his way to B.C. It was a nice plane; not much storage space but a great plane for training. The aircraft had a clean fast look.