A Mens' Group

Sunday, Sept. 15, sunny and warm a beautiful fall day +23
I lost all that I had written up about Susan and I not being together for a while when the program crashed and I had not saved it. Oh well.
Susan and I had coffee on Friday evening. I re keyed her door locks so one key would work all the locks. We chatted for a while and then I informed her that I would not be seeing or talking to her for a couple weeks to let this confusion settle. She was taken aback a little but accepted what I said. Susan and her sister, Louise came by my Showhome on Saturday. They stayed for a while and then went on to some other show homes.
In the evening I went to an NDP supper that celebrated 40 years of the Alberta New Democrats. I talked with and saw a lot of people that I have not met for many years.
A long time friend, Ross Harvey was back from BC. Don and Noreen, long time party faithful were present. It was a pleasure to see them again, especially Noreen with her red shoes. Rhona and Allen Eng were in the audience but left before I could talk to them. I sat next to Nick Duchinski, one of the first CCF MLA’s. He was elected and represented the Willingdon area for 8 years. It was a pleasure talking to him and hearing some of his stories. One of his sons, a lawyer, was at the table also; this boy could use a sense of humor.
Viola and I chatted a little and I asked her advice about the situation with Susan and I took her comments to heart. I told her that Susan did not realize that I did not go back to a relationship after it was ended and I did not see a future with Susan with what has happened.
I golfed with Derek, Alex M and Ivor Dent on Friday morning as part of the event. It was fun and I did quite well. I scored better than Ray. He will try to get retribution at the golf game we have coming up on Wednesday.
I booked a golf tee time with Derek at the Northern Bear for the end of the month. This should be fun. I owe him a game so the day will be on me. The course is in only fair shape with the lack of rain. It should still be better than we are.
Left messages for Cory and Dana on Wednesday, Sept 11 to let them know that I was thinking about how they were feeling on the one year anniversary of the tragedy in New York. Cory emailed back and said he would call Sunday. He said he was busy till then. Dana did not respond.
I talked to mother a little about the event and she ended up talking about two young women that were killed in a traffic accident north of the city. We are to have lunch on Wednesday.
Cheryl is busy. Her life is still hectic. We plan to have a golf game this coming week.
Traffic is slow but the deals I have, are coming together with a couple more agreements to be concluded in the near future.
I had a great meeting with Shuster and his lady and will do a deal with them when the new lots appear in Lewis Estates.
Things are moving along and I will deal with everything as they appear.

Sunday, Sept 15, Tuesday, Sept 17, Sunny +18
Three days past and no contact with Susan, getting a little easier but I still miss her. I hope that she is fairing well and comfortable with her new direction.
Traffic is quiet with my making contact with a client to move the situation along. I contacted his banker and suggested she call him.
I had lunch with mother at the Casino for a change of venue. She went to play the nickel slots after a good conversation during lunch. I played a little 21; won some money which I left with her. She seemed pleased. She said that Cheryl was not happy with Kurt and had written him a letter to help him along. Cheryl is having some people over on Saturday for son’s birthday. I will drop by after work and pick up mother.
Warren and I had a good game of squash. He won but it was a good game.

Sunday, Sept. 22 Cloudy windy, +9, cool fall day
Fall is coming with the cooler temperatures.
Cory said the weather has been warm in Toronto. He and Dana have been working quite steadily for the past week. He is feeling good about himself and now wants me to send up his red tool box and the items inside of it. Dana may have called last night but I missed it.
Gillian called on Friday but it was late and I was not around.
I attended Cheryl’s son’s birthday party last night after work.
Mom was already at the party.
Lesel and Kali were in town from the US for the weekend. Cheryl’s Mom and friend, Carol, were at the party also. Marlon was present for the evening. Lesel was going to meet up with Terry and Merci in Calgary on Sunday before they flew out on Monday. Lesel is looking quite good and seems happy.
Cheryl mentioned to mother about Susan so I had to explain the confusion that she is feeling at the moment.
Susan sent me an e mail about the clean up job at her condo and expressed that she was unhappy with the work they had done. So be it. I will talk to her in about a week, although I do not know what I will be saying. I doubt whether this will go any where. She will probably call soon.
Went to Ocean Sports store and talked to Grant about the SCUBA course that was coming up. We talked about the sale that was on and what I would need to dive in different parts of the world. I took a break and called Warren to see whether he had time to come down to the shop and look at what was available. We meet at four in the afternoon and by five thirty, I had spent $2300 for the equipment and signed up for the course that is to start on Oct. 1. Warren said that I saved about $1000. I am looking forward to the course and doing some diving in the southern warm waters next year.
Lesel said that she has done some diving and really enjoys it. I am excited about trying out something new. What else is money to be used for? It should be an exciting time next year.
The traffic has been slow but constant over the past week. The meeting with Norman and Janelle went well with the final condition off by next Oct. 1. Al Beaudoin says our lot is to shallow for the house he wants but wants us to look for a lot in Clarkdale or Heritage Hills.
The Melcor lots should be made available on Monday or Tuesday next week. I will be able to call Layton and Shuster with the numbers and design. John has given me a price list for the new year sales effective on Oct. 4/02. It will be about a 5% increase.
Warren and I had our squash game on Thursday evening because he was going to Fort Mac to see Ron over the weekend. He will be back on Sunday for our game on Monday. His work has slowed down and the waiting game starts in regards to his computer program and investments. He will be taking some consulting work in Eastern Canada to make some money. He will be doing about 5 weeks over the next two months.
I am missing Susan but not nearly in the same way that it was with Danielle. I am not sure how she is fairing. I do not think she will be able to work herself past the religious difficulties that she has created. I am sure I am not willing to go back with the new circumstances.

“Life has to be lived and dealt with on a day to day basis. Living with no expectations is quite a relief.”

Warren and my conversation with the young women that were playing squash was refreshing and humorous both during our interaction and after when Warren and I had supper and discussed the event. Some of Warren’s comments about the women in particular and in general are quite funny.
Peter and Georgette are creating a fight with the land developer in Donsdale that they are not going to win. All they are going to do is frustrate themselves and not end up with what they want.

Sunday, Sept. 29 Cloudy, Showers +11
This week went by uneventfully.
Played squash Monday and Saturday with Warren and had some good games.
I spent several hours reading the material for the SCUBA course. It is interesting reading. The course starts on Tuesday, Oct. 1.
I went golfing on Thursday with Derek at the Northern Bear followed on Friday with Ray at his Fort in View course. Both days scored about 85. The Northern Bear course is very nice and easy to play. It would be expensive playing it many times but once a year would be nice.
Finally got some information for the Melcor lots in Potter Greens and sent the info to Layton and called Shuster. Gordon called back to say they really needed a walk out lot but thanked me for the time and effort since I did not have access to any walk out lots.
I booked my flight to Toronto and passed on the information to Dana and Cory. They both have been working as much as possible and will continue to do so because of the number of films in the area.
Cory was sounding very good and is enjoying what he doing. Cory took SCUBA in high school and has his pool ticket but has not done any open water. He said he really enjoyed the feeling of the water environment.
Cheryl called on Saturday to chat but I was not available. I will get back to her today.
Warren is starting to get more aggressive in trying to close the investors for his program. His mentor has passed on his thoughts on how Warren should get people to get more involved in the program.
Peter has done nothing more about his lot and house, but perhaps he is not saying anything.
Hector is very involved in the organization that helps the children that have changes in their life.
Had some traffic on Saturday, with a couple coming in to put lot 4 on hold and obtain some pricing on a house.
Craig came in with his realtor. He is progressing on his plan to sell his home and build a new home. I am not sure how to tell him that lot 4 has a hold on it. I will let things play out as they may. I will talk to John about the situation tomorrow. We should have a response from Norman about what package he wants to go with for his new home.
Was able to meet Susan for coffee in the evening at Tim H. Time and events have not changed from her view. I would have been disappointed if they had. Her conviction on moral grounds is very strong. I do not presume to understand but she is serious. This is not something that she wishes to give up but she must do it at the moment- “since nothing is forever”. She is having as difficult a time as I am but this is reality and we will do what has to be done. It is a shame but…….
Cheryl called to say that she and Daryl are having a little bit of disagreement but after talking to her; she was able to put some perspective on the situation. I suggested that they were getting too close to be comfortable and not giving each other enough space. He is starting to smother her and she is feeling a bit overwhelmed by the total situation and is backing up. When she does this he gets concerned that she is leaving and tries to move closer to her, causing her to be more concerned.
Dana called to say his ankle is OK; he is continuing to climb the indoor stone walls and doing well. He is working continuously with no end to the work in the near future. He is in a good mood and is enjoying himself.

Sunday, Oct. 6, Raining, +8, cloudy
Went to the first class for the SCUBA lessons; very exciting and successful. Did the class with about 10 other people, some older, some younger; Two fathers, one with his young daughter and one with his young son; a couple (guy and girl) about 25-30. We all seemed at ease with the instruction, requirements and lessons. Breathing under water with the equipment the first time was a unique experience. Movement in the water is slower and more cumbersome than I remembered from snorkeling. It was a great experience but I found all the requirements quite manageable. I told Lesel about the situation. She was very happy for me and suggested that we get together down south sometime with some friends. The boys are excited that I am learning something new.
Warren was very pleased and said that I told him some things about diving he did not know. Next class is on Tuesday. I have some reading to do and am looking forward to it. I have read the SCUBA instruction book all the way through and will reread it on Tuesday.
Cheryl and Darrel broke up on the weekend. She got very frustrated with his smothering and inability to express a personal opinion. She has to come to a realization that her demands are sometimes not realistic. She has such a high demand for excitement that it will challenge any relationship she has. I will have a coffee with her sometime in the future. We talked about golf but I do not think the weather will allow it.
The Debruyn deal came together this weekend and the Mitchell deal will be completed on Monday. The Yee deal fell apart; something I was expecting.
An out of town client asked me to create a design for their acreage home. I found some designs on the web page eplans. I will run them past John on Monday to see how and if we can make these adapt to the land and slope of the lot.
Warren said that Sally called to say that she was not feeling well and was canceling her yoga class.
I called Sheila to arrange a birthday supper in a couple of weeks. She will not be doing the newspaper column for the paper but will work on the editorial segment instead.
Terry and Mercy joined mom and me for lunch on Wednesday. They are busy dancing and had a good time at Henry’s daughter’s wedding.
Gillian is still unsettled about not being invited to Uncle Henry’s daughter’s wedding.

Sunday, Oct. 13. Sunny with strong breeze, +11
The week has gone by slowly.
Work was slow with the rough blue print for a client coming in on Friday. I dropped off the print for them and also the drawings and pictures for Brekkas, a new client
I purchased a small 35 mm camera so I could take pictures on the interior and exteriors of the homes we build.
The Brekkas dropped by on Saturday to comment on the house and look at the show home again. They are looking at different builders but we are in the running because of the personal service I am offering. Mitchell has not come back after our talk. He cannot seem to make a decision and is not moving ahead on anything.
The second lesson of the SCUBA course was great. The different activities are easy to accomplish and I am becoming comfortable with all that is asked of me. With all the equipment on I still cannot get out of the pool on my own. Oh well. We will have to do a swim and a water float in the fourth session, so I will have to get comfortable and get some instruction on how to do the float.
Odette suggested several different methods.
Played squash with a woman on Saturday morning before Warren made it to the court. It was enjoyable and I might show up early to do it again on Saturday mornings. The woman said that a group of women get together to play Saturday mornings; some of them might even be single.
Dana was given a very good birthday present when he heard that he was accepted into IATSE. This will happen in November. He will be getting some nice benefits and will be higher up on the hiring ladder. It should make for a better next year
Warren had contact with Jeff over the last week. Jeff physically collapsed and was in bed for a couple of weeks when Nora told him that she was not talking to him any more. Warren told him as much as he could to help him understand but Jeff did not seem to be able to understand the concept of total commitment to Victoria.
Hector had supper with Warren and me after the group meeting. We discussed Hector’s laid back attitude toward a job search and what was needed to be successful. I hope we were not too hard on him.
As Warren said –“Hector is lucky to have such good friends.”
The results for Peter’s medical tests have not come back in - which must mean that he is OK except for the stress in his life.
Cheryl and Darrel are back together again with a new visitation and living situation being worked out. We went golfing on Thursday for the last time this year. It was cool but we had fun. She has gained a awareness that she has control of her life and how she feels.
All for now.
Not feeling very well emotionally. I will be going to Warren’s for Thanksgiving supper on Monday.
Thanksgiving Monday was steady with a couple coming in who were committed to building a bungalow in the area. Some people who heard of the unique style of the showhome came thru to see home.
Got a call from Derek and Viola checking to see how I was feeling.
Sad times at the moment but day by day I will get through this. Have to check what was happening last year at this time.
Cory called a couple of days ago to say he was fine and had gone to Dana’s party. He sounded a little down but I was in no mood to cheer him up.

Saturday, Oct. 19, cloudy, rain, +12
This has been a busy week.
Dana’s birthday was on Tuesday, called him on Wednesday to chat a little. He was fine, taking the day off and was sleeping in. He will call this weekend I expect.
The third SCUBA class went well. The detached breathing lesson was not a problem. This week we have to do a swim and a ten minute float. I went to the pool with Warren last night and practiced the procedure. I feel the lesson will be OK. I will go again on Sunday to get more comfortable relaxing in the water.
Played squash with Warren twice this week with each of us winning a series.
Cheryl has been informed that the new owners were letting everyone go from the hotel and might be hiring a few back. She is supporting her staff and making the best of things. Nov. 15 is the termination date unless things change.
Made a couple of appointments with Dr. Tom; one for the Christmas dinner for the group on Dec. 5 and the other next Thursday to talk about the situation with Susan. I thought it was last Thursday but I checked the card and confirmed the time was not after the visit to the dentist, I am glad that it was not the same day. Still missing Susan, but in a more relaxed way.
I have been getting some interest from new clients on building homes in the area. I will have to contact them on Sunday if they do not come into the show home.
The Lesley deal is progressing nicely.
Derek and Viola are off to Finland on Wednesday to see their daughter and son-in-law for two weeks. He is looking forward to the trip and the time away, I told him to bring back something blond and Swedish for me.
I get to stay home tonight and watch some baseball, the first night home all week. Talk about being busy. The SCUBA stuff fills in the week. I am looking forward to going to the Caribbean and dive with Warren. The first time will be very exciting. We went out for a beer after swimming and had a great discussion about women and our lives.

Sunday, Oct 20, Drizzle, cloudy, + 4
Saturday was quiet with Cory calling to say all was OK except that he had a chest cold. He is making plans to be the best man for his buddy in Regina next week. The wedding has a medieval theme. He is excited about going. Work is starting to pick with his US client sending Cory more work. His thanksgiving dinner was fun at Margaret’s place.
Stayed home last night although I went out for coffee after watching the World Series game, San Fran won the first game over the Angels.
The Garage Showhome heater has not been hooked up yet and it is getting a little chilly with this damp weather. I will probably go over to the YMCA in the area and do some floating around in the water to get comfortable again. I will have to read the chapter on SCUBA and do the quiz to get ready for Tuesday. Cory said that Dana had gone out of town with Stephanie over the weekend for a family thing and that he was taking care of the cats and enjoying the Play Station that Dana had received for his birthday. It was nice of him to take care of Dana’s belongings.

Saturday, Oct 26, Clouds and sun +2
Day after my birthday; the big 54.
I enjoyed a very good day. Went swimming and got my stroke down for the lengths, then played Warren squash and tied him after 6 games.
Sheila took me out for a great supper and interesting conversation. When I picked her up I got to see Devlin again; he is growing into a complete young man.
I was up and down emotionally all week.
Played squash with Warren and Hector on Monday evening. We had some very competitive games.
Work is progressing well although the financing has not come in for the Debruyn’s yet. This should not be a problem.
The SCUBA lesson went well although I completely failed the swimming portion of the evening. I had to be rescued by an instructor after running out of air and power, trying to keep up to a young 24 year old fellow. That is me, who has no plan B but had enough sense to call for help. I was able to float for 10 minutes and since have been swimming several times, figured out how to do the swimming requirements and enjoy it. I will do more practicing over the next few weeks. I went out and bought myself some birthday gifts at the SCUBA store- a mask, a knife and a couple of items for Warren. He is off to Victoria for a week to promote his business.
I had the session with Dr. Joe on Thursday which turned out very well. He was able to explain some things and offer another look at why Susan is doing things and my responsibility in the whole situation. Susan is probably not even aware of the reason she is doing some things.
Cory called to say that the collection people called him for money for his student loan. He called and we discussed the different options available to him. He is off to Jeff’s wedding this week in Regina.
Gillian called last night to wish me a happy birthday but I missed both her phone calls. She was in a weepy mood and perhaps it was best that we did not speak.
I had lunch with Cynthia on Friday to catch up on her life and things. She is slowing down and managing her life better she says. She is not searching to provide available women that would be a good match for me.
Peter offered up a name of a woman that he and Georgette have decided would be compatible for me.
At the men’s group I shared my session with Dr. Joe which prompted Warren to say that he would make an appointment to see him as a mental health day.
I will try to get Dana and Cory to see Dr. Tom individually when they are in Edmonton sometime next year. I think it will do them good to be comfortable seeing someone when they have to.
Derek and Viola are in Finland since last Wednesday.

Sunday, Oct 27, Cloudy and cool +1
Susan, as a friend, took me out for a birthday supper last night; pleasant but awkward. Nothing I would recommend doing but her heart was in the correct place.
Cory called last night to wish me happy birthday and say that he was fine and enjoying himself in Regina.
Sheila had suggested that we go skiing together in the winter. How this would work I am not sure but we should discuss it later.
The Angels came back to win game six of the World Series and even the score three games each. They will play the final and seventh game tonight for the championship.

Saturday, Nov. 2, Sunny +6
The weather over the past few days have been quite grand. Indian summer, as they said before the politically correct days.
I have been swimming over the past few days to get ready for the swimming test on Tuesday after the exam. My plan is coming along well and I am learning how to swim in different ways so my confidence is greater.
Played squash with Warren this morning to a draw. He got back from Vancouver on Thursday for the group meeting. We had an enjoyable time discussing our feelings and the events in our lives. Everett passed on a book for Warren that was making sense to Everett. Warren said that Jeff was coming into town on Nov. 21 for a week and would stop in at the group.
I will not be back from Toronto in time to be at this meeting.
Mother and I went to the theatre last night. Strange plays but the time we spent together was enjoyable.
Susan might have liked it because it dealt with the Catholic Church and the teaching done by a nun. Susan probably knows more about that sort of thing than the nun anyway.
Gillian called to discuss my visiting arrangements and suggested that I stay at her place first and at the boys later. I said that it had been arranged with the boys for them first and I would put in an appearance at her place later. I was glad that I was able to say that and not feel bad.
I stopped in to see Nora at Grant Mac when I was leaving the swimming regime. She is working in the registrar’s office now. We chatted for a moment and then I went on my way. I reminded to her to call me. I will see what comes of it.
Cheryl and I had coffee at her hotel. Her last day at work will be Thursday. She had three interviews with a downtown Edmonton hotel and was going back for another one next week. She was quite confident that she will find a new position. Her relationship with Darrell is off again. She is creating a hectic life style that makes her feel in control.
The people at the theatre were average except one woman that was exceptional looking. Tall, long black hair dressed in a simple pair of slacks and a shirt; very striking. She was very pleasant to look at. If I had more confidence I would have said something to her, although I did come close enough to cross her path and exchange smiles; never have been good at breaking the ice. Have to keep practicing.
The money from my client will not come in till Wednesday now. Lawyers have to look at it and process the paperwork
Hopefully I will be able to get paid before I leave. Things certainly are slow here.
John was admitted to the hospital yesterday after a blood clot in his leg went up to his lungs. I will have to phone Chris and check up on his condition.

Sunday, Nov. 3- Wednesday, Nov. 6 Cloudy +6
The morning rain but has stopped now; the roads should dry off by the evening.
Well, the SCUBA training and exams were successfully completed last night. I have passed all the required items to do my open water test in May next year. The exam went well with only 3 wrong answers out of 50 questions. I did not read the words correctly on one question and did not remember the answers to 2 other questions. The swimming went well with the pacing that I imposed on myself. Each student finished off the course with small items they had not been done during the 5 week course. The weeks went by quickly and everyone is quite comfortable with being in the water.
I am ready for the trip tomorrow to Toronto to see my sons and sister, Gillian. They sound well over the phone and are looking forward to seeing me.
Gillian had phoned and is arranging my schedule in her city.
Cheryl was offered a new job as a banquet coordinator at a city hotel and is starting on Tuesday. She will be taking me to the airport in the morning.
I will be calling Sharon when I am in Toronto to ask her for coffee to catch up on what is happening. I will contact her by email to allow her the chance to say no without talking to me directly. She is in a photo of the staff and managers at the Research center in Waterloo. Still looks the same as we all do. I expect I do wish to see the changes that have occurred.
The traffic for the homes is slow but not unusual for this time of year.
John is still in the hospital on blood thinners and will be released on Friday. He will be taking blood thinning pills for 6 months to come.
Not much more to write. I am sure there is more but emotionally I chose not to make them real by putting them to paper.
I got through October by being busy with the SCUBA stuff and now I am into November and December; the festive times of the year. Things should move along quickly with all the women that the guys, Peter and Dana, are arranging for me.

Saturday, Nov. 23, Cloudy, -4
The past two weeks in Toronto have been quite the experience.
Dana and Stephanie meet me in the airport. She is a very nice young, aggressive woman, suited to Dana. We drove to Dana’s place and met Cory who was waiting for us. Margaret, Cory’s girlfriend, was not able to come for supper with us that night, she was not feeling well. I spent most of my time sleeping over at Cory’s place and visiting with Dana.
Cory and Margaret had me over for supper one night and then we went to the Club where she dances. I got a taste and a feeling of the Goth night club scene which they are involved in; Margaret more that Cory. Spent one on one time with Cory when he showed me where he bikes and travels during his spare time. Dana was not working but showed me where he does his wall climbing with Stephanie.
The games that Cory and Dana play on their computers are quite fascinating and all the rage at the moment. “Max Payne”, a detective scenario, is Cory’s game which I can get and play on my computer. “Grand Theft Auto” is Dana’s birthday present which can be played on the X box units.
Drove down to Listowel to see the countryside where Sheila grew up so I had to pass through Waterloo and Kitchener.
I was able to leave a message for Sharon when I passed through Kitchener the first time. Because there was no response after a day, I called back to her secretary to be sure she received my message. She chooses not to make contact; keeping to her statement that she was no longer going to talk with me. I am saddened by this response but do understand it. Very little would come of a brief meeting except confusion and sadness.
Contacted Bill Walsh, my previous flight instructor, and spent a couple of days in London with him. He was able to arrange a flight in a new aircraft they use for instruction. It is a gem of a plane. The Flight instructor that took me up was a superb pilot.
The brunch that Gillian had on Sunday for Simon, Kati, the boys and girlfriends was delicious but was disrupted by Jason and his antics. He made a mess of the girls’ weekend the following week when he was out of control again. I had a good chat with Kati with what was happening in Simon and their lives at the moment.
On Monday, I moved back to Gillian’s place to sleep over. Spent a couple of days talking with her about her lifestyle and what she was doing and wanted to do, if anything.
On Wednesday evening, went out for supper with Val, longtime friend of Gillian, and Gillian to a nice Greek place and talked about what was happening in Val’s life.
Meet Cory and Dana for lunch on Thursday before I flew back to Edmonton.
The Air Canada desk agent was able to route me straight through to Edmonton.
Friday was spent catching up at the office, making a few phone calls, grocery shopping and just relaxing.
The financing for Debruyn is still not complete but the paper process is continuing.
John is out of the hospital and getting around but is taking it slow.
Played squash with Warren on Saturday morning.
Ron and Cindy his girlfriend were in attendance for a couple quick squash games.
It was apparent, by our awkwardness, that we have not been playing squash for a few weeks.
Warren is going to Vancouver on Tuesday or Monday.