Friday, January 27, 2006
An Untapped Cache
Saturday, June 9 +23, sunny with a slight breeze, a great summer day
Warren called to play squash this morning; we had a great set with each of us winning the same number of games. Because of the games I was able to get rid of the aches and pains from my golf holiday in Kananaskis on Friday.
I had driven down Thursday night and stayed in Calgary overnight; I was up at 5 am and drove to the Kananaskis golf course in the clear morning air. The mountains were breathtaking as usual. Played golf all day and just relaxed in good company and a friendly atmosphere. Had a bit to eat and then drove home. The traveling on the highway was the most difficult part of the journey, with all the speeding and reckless drivers. My hands and feet took quite a physical punishment with all the activity but they will get better with a little care and attention. Next time I will have to drive down in the morning, golf, stay overnight and then golf in the morning the next day. It will be easier and the scenery in the bar might give rise to some interesting results.
The discussion with the guys on Thursday night was interesting. Peter was in Calgary, but Warren, Everett, Hector and myself were present. We spent most of the time listening to Warren's recounting of the difficult work week that he had. He was getting back into the competitive business work atmosphere, very cut throat, and his alarms were going off telling him that he did not want to participate in this sort of activity. He was able to recognize what was happening and put himself to one side, even though he was being affected by it. The upcoming meeting on Friday was causing him some stress but he had decided what he was going to do and felt quite comfortable about it.
Everett was reacting very strongly about his wife's actions and energy level in the evening at their home. I suggested that he tape the Oprah show, play it when Louise was around and discuss the topics if they were relative to their interests. He said he would. He is developing an attitude that what is , is, and he should not get to bent out of shape that it is not what he wants it to be or what he thinks it should be. A big step for him.
I have not heard from Susan, it has only been since Sunday, but it seems like an eternity. I know she is well and enjoying Mathew and her daughter. If I remember correctly, today is the day that she and Anne start their trip up north. The weather promises to be good and the scenery is called spectacular. It will be nice to get a phone call from her when she gets back.
I doubt if I will get a call from Susan, the bird lady. But stranger things have happened. The discussions with my clients are moving along quite nicely with some concrete results in the next couple weeks. I am concerned about how Gillian is reacting to the events surrounding Simon's wedding.
As to be expected, Cory and Dana’s are living well and are enjoying their lives.
Dana will be a little more relaxed and more confident now that he is working more and using his skills to the level that he can justify. I expect the work to continue.
Cory will probably stay with Gillian at her home till the fall and then take a place in the city by himself. It will be of great concern to her, but as long as she is not owed any money, it will be no problem.
Jason's continued need for Cory and Dana help and work experience will be a bonus for both of them.
The real possibility of my going to Toronto for Simon and Kahti's reception is something I will have to keep in mind. It will be a sore spot if no one from the family goes to the function in the fall.
Terry and Merci have no intention of going, even if it is in Toronto with the attitude that they have at the moment. If Gillian continues to press the issue on the location of her painting; the emotional tension will only get more strained.
Monday, June 11, Sunny and bright, + 21
Dana called early last night, in a good mood. His visit with Shauna, his girlfriend from back home, was a great deal of fun. He also worked a couple three days and has more lined up this week. A major film is in town and he expects to get on board with it. Jason is not involved so Dana feels good that he is doing it on his own. He has managed to pay down some of his bills, along with settling his account with Cory.
Cory is going to take a few days off work to get involved with the special effects area of film to see if he likes it and can handle the inconsistency and the erratic money flow.
I still have not heard from Susan, it seems like a long time but it really isn't.
Had a couple of clients come in to further our discussions about their new homes. It is giving me something to do and keeps me busy.
Warren and I played a great series of squash games on Saturday and we will continue the activities tonight.
I received some information that a client continues to shop the suppliers for the house that he wishes to build. I will let John know what I have discovered. John suggested that it would be no problem if I wanted to take a Thursday off.
Gary said that he would sit in for me. Possibly in July, I can take the time and go down to the south country and do some golfing. Everything else seems to be going along quite nicely. No real great trauma or difficulties in my life that are apparent to me when I check with my feelings. The need to have female company comes by in waves and really is of no great significance when I think about it.
When Susan returns I will be able to get a better understanding of her feelings and emotions. I would really like to be with her, under what terms I will have to discuss with her, but if she is not available I will continue on with myself and keep my emotions open for the next female to come into my life. I would like to continue as a friend with Sheila until she leaves for the east to go to school.
It is apparent that Dana and Shauna have something special in their lives but I will let him discuss it with me. It will be some time before she is coming to Toronto so they have time to decide their living conditions. He is still determined to go to Australia to do some work and sightseeing.
I expect that Cory has given up his dream to go down to Atlanta. Even he must be aware that Greg, his boss, is not someone who easily keeps his word. Time will tell.
Tuesday, June 12.Cloudy with rain showers, + 18
I did laundry during the morning hours. Did some house cleaning, noticed that the ski boots were in the outside closet, not having used them for a couple three years, I decided that they would be better off in some one else's possession. I left them outside by the trash bin; some one will pick them up and put them to good use. I managed to clean up some other items and dispose of them. I felt good about doing this. I located the map that I acquired when I went sailing in the British Virgin Islands. I am going to get a frame for the map and mount it on the wall, wrinkled paper and all. Contacted Andy, a client, during the afternoon and faxed him the information that he asked for. Called John M for an appointment on Wednesday but he suggested next Monday would be better. So be it.
Warren called to confirm the squash game in the evening. We had a great series both winning three games. The shot making is getting quite intricate and varied. The work out was very good, with no ill effects on my ankle tendons. I discussed with Warren the possibility of placing an ad in the personal column of the Journal just to see what would happen.
I listened to a professional, on the radio; explain that we should make a small list of what we want to do before we die. This would be something that everyone or at least I should do to see what will happen.
I suggested that Hector bring along his personal ad to give me some direction and information about what to write in the ad.
Everett is not able to make the meeting on Thursday.
Called Cheryl for lunch on Wednesday. She had to go to the dentist in the afternoon because of a broken tooth but we had lunch in the early afternoon. She had spent some time at the new job at the Hotel that she will be managing. The owners seem to be quite alright but any new undertaking has a certain amount of stress that goes along with the new people and environment. All in all, she is quite happy.
I was able to get a birthday card for Susan. Although she has been gone only for a week and a half I am missing her and do want to see her. I hope her trip and time away with Anne is a good experience for her.
Work is continuing along quite nicely, with the company building a large bungalow on spec at the end of the crescent. It will be nice to sell this unit to someone who needs a home quickly. The days are passing quickly with the time getting closer till when the home sales are finalized. My accounts are below the line but a sale will make up for any problems quite quickly.
Thursday, June 14, rain in the morning, cloudy with sunny breaks in the afternoon, +21
Everett was not able to attend because of his daughter's awards night. Everyone else attended at the showhome. Hector had to leave early to baby-sit his kids at seven in the evening.
We had a good discussion with Warren about a close friend of his calling him “her hero”. He had a great deal of trouble coming to terms with the concept of if she really knew who he was and what he has done, whether she would still consider him a hero. After some discussion he was able to be more comfortable with the comment.
Peter was trying to be comfortable with the angry emotion he is feeling about his wife still spending so much time at work, even with the end of the school year at hand. It may be that she did not go to see their son's soccer game, after he expressly asked her to come to see him play. She said that the work at school was of more importance than the child's activity.
I had asked Hector for his personal ad that had been placed in the Examiner to help create my own personal ad.
After some discussion about the ad that I had created, a few suggestions were made by those in attendance to clarify the intent of the ad.
Because of the merit of doing something/ anything; ergo getting on with life, not waiting because of the “unreliability of life” I have decided that only good events could come of the publication of the ad. We also decided that Warren would benefit from the ad in a secondary fashion; I would pass on all the culled contacts that did not meet my level of interest. We also decided that there would be no charge for Warren to receive these contacts.
Traffic is slow at the show home, but this is to be expected on the Thursday.
I was able to frame the ocean chart that I brought back from the British Virgin Island sailing trip. It has turned out to be quite an impressive piece of art.
I received a postcard from Susan today saying that she was thinking of me, along with expressing her love for me. I will have to wait to better understand her feelings when she arrives back home and we have a chance to talk again.
Cory called last night to say that he had a bit of a cold and was taking a few days off work to recuperate. He also had put his name in to work in special effects on any production that was available. As is his way, he informed the company that he is currently working for, that he was doing this just so they would know. He is quite strong in his ability to say what he means and believes in. He is not a person to go around people's backs. This is a very strong characteristic, I wonder where he gets that from; probably his mother. His bike is performing well. He is getting a great deal of enjoyment from it and said that he is having it serviced on a regular basis. The weather has been quite nice and except for a few rain showers, the weekend should be good enough to go golfing in.
Saturday, June 16, Cloudy all day, with rain showers off and on all day, heavy rain in the evening +14
Traffic was slow during the day, with a few interested parties. I did some reading, but just a slow day. Thinking of Susan , where she is and what she is doing. Wondering what her state of mind will be when she returns. Played squash with Warren in the morning, we both won three games. After losing the first two games, I was able to win three of the last four games. I felt quite tired after golfing at Couger Creek and walking the course, some of the time in the rain. I stretched out after the game but still felt it in the legs in the morning. Derek called before I left for the squash game to invite me to stay overnight at their place and golf in the morning. It was a nice thought and I was quite flattered by this gesture but having to work at noon on Sunday, I was not able to go. Watched some golf in the evening while I enjoyed a coffee.
Sunday, June 17, cool and possible showers during the day, Father's day.+12
Had a chance to look at my bank account which is going down slowly because of no sales. I am trying not to obsess with the state it is in. One or two sales will quickly rectify any problems that may occur. I can continue on in this fashion for quite a while but it is difficult on the mind not to be productive from my point of view. There are a couple of sales in the wind and I know things will be all right, but it is still hard not to worry. I am more concerned with the upcoming meeting with Susan when she returns from her trip up north. Logically, I can come to terms with what is happening but emotionally I am still struggling. This is sales and I should be aware of the ups and downs of the business. As I have said many times, do not deal with the problems that may happen, deal with any problems on hand, of which there are very few. Wait for the problems to occur and then have the possible solutions on hand to put them to rest. What a thought.
Still cannot find an Edmonton Examiner to have a look at the lay out. I will have to call Hector for a copy.
There is a big air show in town with some British Harrier jets on hand for the display. I drove by to have a look at the massive fighter jets. All steel, armaments and business. They are meant to do a job, handled by professionals who know what has to be done and how it is to be done. I have a feeling these units are so unstable that they can turn on the pilot and kill him quickly if he is not careful.
I expect the traffic will be slow at the beginning of the day and pick up later as the kids have their way with their dads.
I am proud of the way Cory and Dana have turned out and it is nice to see them turn out so comfortable with who they are.
Monday, June 18, sunny with clouds , + 19
Completed the wrapping of the birthday gifts for Susan. She called in the morning to say that she was back from her travels. I went over and had coffee in the early afternoon and heard about her trip with Anne up to Juneau and Skagway Alaska.
Talked to Luke about some decisions he had to make before the end of the week, whether to travel to Europe this fall with Kyla, get a job, continue with his interviews for the City police and RCMP (become responsible) or go to school. The first police interview suggested that he move out on his own and get a little life experience. He is in a quandary but will make a good decision, which will strengthen him. It was very nice to see Susan since we have not seen each other for a while.
The driveway for the showhome is being constructed with the concrete pour on Tuesday which will not interfere with show home traffic since it is so slow at the moment.
An evening thundershower with winds is keeping everyone close to home.
John and I are meeting with a client at his place to continue with the finalization on details on his new home. I expect it to go quite well.
Gillian called late last night to express her frustration with none of the family calling Simon and Kati about their wedding. She is very distraught that none of the family is showing her and Simon the proper respect. This will continue well after the fall gathering in Toronto for the newlywed couple.
Gillian will continue to be frustrated by the lack of response from the family. I do not have anything to say that will make any sense to her, relative to the intensity she is displaying because it is her son's wedding. Her comments regarding the great low level of responsibility that Jason is showing to those around him is disproportionate to what he is really doing. Oh well, families are an intricate lot.
Cory is thinking of making a decision to work full time in the special effects area. He will do well.
Dana is continuing to do well in his field of work. He was a little frustrated that he missed out on a special effects jobs because he took some straight labor work but it shows that he is trying to get all the work that is available and is not being to picky. A nice sign; shows a degree of maturity.
After a discussion with Susan, I will make a concentrated effort to move to the south side so that time will not be such an issue in our relationship. I will have to resume my search in the next couple of days and revisit the loft on the south side.
Wednesday, June 20, hot and sunny with a possible thunderstorm in the evening, +26
Workman poured a driveway for the showhome on Tuesday so we kept the unit closed for the day. I did some shopping during the day for odds and ends.
I talked to Susan during the daytime before she went to see her dad.
Checked out a couple more apartment rental units and made an appointment to see a unit on Wednesday afternoon.
Went over in the evening to see Susan and continue getting reacquainted. We went for a walk with Dusty, her dog, before it got dark. We tried to redefine our relationship and discussed how we wanted to interact in the future. It was quite relaxed and comfortable. She got a phone call from a friend whose father was quite ill, so I left her to the conversation.
Warren called me to arrange a squash game for Wednesday evening.
I picked up mother for lunch on Wednesday, to discuss the wedding that Simon and Gillian are in charge of.
Mother is quite angry that she is not being treated correctly.
Terry is on the list of people who are ignoring her, along with his attitude toward her. Cheryl is frustrating mother because she does not want to settle down. Gillian’s discomfort is the only bright spot. Mother is happy that Gillian is so flustered by the wedding not progressing as she wants it to do. Such is life.
I dropped by the apartment to have a look. It is a ground floor unit facing south east quite secluded from the street noise and intrusion. As large as the unit I am currently in with the appliance, storage space and general decor quite modern. It will be painted when the present tenant moves out. I filled out an application, left a deposit and I hope to move in Aug. 1. The rent is $550 per month on a yearly lease. It would be a benefit if I could move in before the end of the month to allow for a cheaper move and I would have more time to get out of my place, clean it and move into this one. Moving into this unit should be quite easy because it is on the ground floor with access from the back through the patio door. I will arrange for the sofa, chair and bed to be picked up by Good Will before I move so the move is easier. When I purchase the bed and sofa I can have them delivered directly to the new place. What a plan. The manager lives in-house so I should have no trouble with any noises from the other tenants. I noticed a tennis court across the street. The new YMCA is down the street a couple of blocks. It will have good facilities for racquetball games between Susan and myself.
John acquired some information about the lot in Sherwood Park that John and Nadine are interested in. I passed along the information on Tuesday. John said he would have a look at the property and get back to us. I told him that the lots were moving quickly and that he could secure the lot he preferred with a deposit of $1000 that would hold it for 21 days.
I am getting some traffic at the show home today. With the weather being quite nice, people are starting to feel pressure to make a decision if they want their new home to be completed before winter.
Warren called to play squash this morning; we had a great set with each of us winning the same number of games. Because of the games I was able to get rid of the aches and pains from my golf holiday in Kananaskis on Friday.
I had driven down Thursday night and stayed in Calgary overnight; I was up at 5 am and drove to the Kananaskis golf course in the clear morning air. The mountains were breathtaking as usual. Played golf all day and just relaxed in good company and a friendly atmosphere. Had a bit to eat and then drove home. The traveling on the highway was the most difficult part of the journey, with all the speeding and reckless drivers. My hands and feet took quite a physical punishment with all the activity but they will get better with a little care and attention. Next time I will have to drive down in the morning, golf, stay overnight and then golf in the morning the next day. It will be easier and the scenery in the bar might give rise to some interesting results.
The discussion with the guys on Thursday night was interesting. Peter was in Calgary, but Warren, Everett, Hector and myself were present. We spent most of the time listening to Warren's recounting of the difficult work week that he had. He was getting back into the competitive business work atmosphere, very cut throat, and his alarms were going off telling him that he did not want to participate in this sort of activity. He was able to recognize what was happening and put himself to one side, even though he was being affected by it. The upcoming meeting on Friday was causing him some stress but he had decided what he was going to do and felt quite comfortable about it.
Everett was reacting very strongly about his wife's actions and energy level in the evening at their home. I suggested that he tape the Oprah show, play it when Louise was around and discuss the topics if they were relative to their interests. He said he would. He is developing an attitude that what is , is, and he should not get to bent out of shape that it is not what he wants it to be or what he thinks it should be. A big step for him.
I have not heard from Susan, it has only been since Sunday, but it seems like an eternity. I know she is well and enjoying Mathew and her daughter. If I remember correctly, today is the day that she and Anne start their trip up north. The weather promises to be good and the scenery is called spectacular. It will be nice to get a phone call from her when she gets back.
I doubt if I will get a call from Susan, the bird lady. But stranger things have happened. The discussions with my clients are moving along quite nicely with some concrete results in the next couple weeks. I am concerned about how Gillian is reacting to the events surrounding Simon's wedding.
As to be expected, Cory and Dana’s are living well and are enjoying their lives.
Dana will be a little more relaxed and more confident now that he is working more and using his skills to the level that he can justify. I expect the work to continue.
Cory will probably stay with Gillian at her home till the fall and then take a place in the city by himself. It will be of great concern to her, but as long as she is not owed any money, it will be no problem.
Jason's continued need for Cory and Dana help and work experience will be a bonus for both of them.
The real possibility of my going to Toronto for Simon and Kahti's reception is something I will have to keep in mind. It will be a sore spot if no one from the family goes to the function in the fall.
Terry and Merci have no intention of going, even if it is in Toronto with the attitude that they have at the moment. If Gillian continues to press the issue on the location of her painting; the emotional tension will only get more strained.
Monday, June 11, Sunny and bright, + 21
Dana called early last night, in a good mood. His visit with Shauna, his girlfriend from back home, was a great deal of fun. He also worked a couple three days and has more lined up this week. A major film is in town and he expects to get on board with it. Jason is not involved so Dana feels good that he is doing it on his own. He has managed to pay down some of his bills, along with settling his account with Cory.
Cory is going to take a few days off work to get involved with the special effects area of film to see if he likes it and can handle the inconsistency and the erratic money flow.
I still have not heard from Susan, it seems like a long time but it really isn't.
Had a couple of clients come in to further our discussions about their new homes. It is giving me something to do and keeps me busy.
Warren and I played a great series of squash games on Saturday and we will continue the activities tonight.
I received some information that a client continues to shop the suppliers for the house that he wishes to build. I will let John know what I have discovered. John suggested that it would be no problem if I wanted to take a Thursday off.
Gary said that he would sit in for me. Possibly in July, I can take the time and go down to the south country and do some golfing. Everything else seems to be going along quite nicely. No real great trauma or difficulties in my life that are apparent to me when I check with my feelings. The need to have female company comes by in waves and really is of no great significance when I think about it.
When Susan returns I will be able to get a better understanding of her feelings and emotions. I would really like to be with her, under what terms I will have to discuss with her, but if she is not available I will continue on with myself and keep my emotions open for the next female to come into my life. I would like to continue as a friend with Sheila until she leaves for the east to go to school.
It is apparent that Dana and Shauna have something special in their lives but I will let him discuss it with me. It will be some time before she is coming to Toronto so they have time to decide their living conditions. He is still determined to go to Australia to do some work and sightseeing.
I expect that Cory has given up his dream to go down to Atlanta. Even he must be aware that Greg, his boss, is not someone who easily keeps his word. Time will tell.
Tuesday, June 12.Cloudy with rain showers, + 18
I did laundry during the morning hours. Did some house cleaning, noticed that the ski boots were in the outside closet, not having used them for a couple three years, I decided that they would be better off in some one else's possession. I left them outside by the trash bin; some one will pick them up and put them to good use. I managed to clean up some other items and dispose of them. I felt good about doing this. I located the map that I acquired when I went sailing in the British Virgin Islands. I am going to get a frame for the map and mount it on the wall, wrinkled paper and all. Contacted Andy, a client, during the afternoon and faxed him the information that he asked for. Called John M for an appointment on Wednesday but he suggested next Monday would be better. So be it.
Warren called to confirm the squash game in the evening. We had a great series both winning three games. The shot making is getting quite intricate and varied. The work out was very good, with no ill effects on my ankle tendons. I discussed with Warren the possibility of placing an ad in the personal column of the Journal just to see what would happen.
I listened to a professional, on the radio; explain that we should make a small list of what we want to do before we die. This would be something that everyone or at least I should do to see what will happen.
I suggested that Hector bring along his personal ad to give me some direction and information about what to write in the ad.
Everett is not able to make the meeting on Thursday.
Called Cheryl for lunch on Wednesday. She had to go to the dentist in the afternoon because of a broken tooth but we had lunch in the early afternoon. She had spent some time at the new job at the Hotel that she will be managing. The owners seem to be quite alright but any new undertaking has a certain amount of stress that goes along with the new people and environment. All in all, she is quite happy.
I was able to get a birthday card for Susan. Although she has been gone only for a week and a half I am missing her and do want to see her. I hope her trip and time away with Anne is a good experience for her.
Work is continuing along quite nicely, with the company building a large bungalow on spec at the end of the crescent. It will be nice to sell this unit to someone who needs a home quickly. The days are passing quickly with the time getting closer till when the home sales are finalized. My accounts are below the line but a sale will make up for any problems quite quickly.
Thursday, June 14, rain in the morning, cloudy with sunny breaks in the afternoon, +21
Everett was not able to attend because of his daughter's awards night. Everyone else attended at the showhome. Hector had to leave early to baby-sit his kids at seven in the evening.
We had a good discussion with Warren about a close friend of his calling him “her hero”. He had a great deal of trouble coming to terms with the concept of if she really knew who he was and what he has done, whether she would still consider him a hero. After some discussion he was able to be more comfortable with the comment.
Peter was trying to be comfortable with the angry emotion he is feeling about his wife still spending so much time at work, even with the end of the school year at hand. It may be that she did not go to see their son's soccer game, after he expressly asked her to come to see him play. She said that the work at school was of more importance than the child's activity.
I had asked Hector for his personal ad that had been placed in the Examiner to help create my own personal ad.
After some discussion about the ad that I had created, a few suggestions were made by those in attendance to clarify the intent of the ad.
Because of the merit of doing something/ anything; ergo getting on with life, not waiting because of the “unreliability of life” I have decided that only good events could come of the publication of the ad. We also decided that Warren would benefit from the ad in a secondary fashion; I would pass on all the culled contacts that did not meet my level of interest. We also decided that there would be no charge for Warren to receive these contacts.
Traffic is slow at the show home, but this is to be expected on the Thursday.
I was able to frame the ocean chart that I brought back from the British Virgin Island sailing trip. It has turned out to be quite an impressive piece of art.
I received a postcard from Susan today saying that she was thinking of me, along with expressing her love for me. I will have to wait to better understand her feelings when she arrives back home and we have a chance to talk again.
Cory called last night to say that he had a bit of a cold and was taking a few days off work to recuperate. He also had put his name in to work in special effects on any production that was available. As is his way, he informed the company that he is currently working for, that he was doing this just so they would know. He is quite strong in his ability to say what he means and believes in. He is not a person to go around people's backs. This is a very strong characteristic, I wonder where he gets that from; probably his mother. His bike is performing well. He is getting a great deal of enjoyment from it and said that he is having it serviced on a regular basis. The weather has been quite nice and except for a few rain showers, the weekend should be good enough to go golfing in.
Saturday, June 16, Cloudy all day, with rain showers off and on all day, heavy rain in the evening +14
Traffic was slow during the day, with a few interested parties. I did some reading, but just a slow day. Thinking of Susan , where she is and what she is doing. Wondering what her state of mind will be when she returns. Played squash with Warren in the morning, we both won three games. After losing the first two games, I was able to win three of the last four games. I felt quite tired after golfing at Couger Creek and walking the course, some of the time in the rain. I stretched out after the game but still felt it in the legs in the morning. Derek called before I left for the squash game to invite me to stay overnight at their place and golf in the morning. It was a nice thought and I was quite flattered by this gesture but having to work at noon on Sunday, I was not able to go. Watched some golf in the evening while I enjoyed a coffee.
Sunday, June 17, cool and possible showers during the day, Father's day.+12
Had a chance to look at my bank account which is going down slowly because of no sales. I am trying not to obsess with the state it is in. One or two sales will quickly rectify any problems that may occur. I can continue on in this fashion for quite a while but it is difficult on the mind not to be productive from my point of view. There are a couple of sales in the wind and I know things will be all right, but it is still hard not to worry. I am more concerned with the upcoming meeting with Susan when she returns from her trip up north. Logically, I can come to terms with what is happening but emotionally I am still struggling. This is sales and I should be aware of the ups and downs of the business. As I have said many times, do not deal with the problems that may happen, deal with any problems on hand, of which there are very few. Wait for the problems to occur and then have the possible solutions on hand to put them to rest. What a thought.
Still cannot find an Edmonton Examiner to have a look at the lay out. I will have to call Hector for a copy.
There is a big air show in town with some British Harrier jets on hand for the display. I drove by to have a look at the massive fighter jets. All steel, armaments and business. They are meant to do a job, handled by professionals who know what has to be done and how it is to be done. I have a feeling these units are so unstable that they can turn on the pilot and kill him quickly if he is not careful.
I expect the traffic will be slow at the beginning of the day and pick up later as the kids have their way with their dads.
I am proud of the way Cory and Dana have turned out and it is nice to see them turn out so comfortable with who they are.
Monday, June 18, sunny with clouds , + 19
Completed the wrapping of the birthday gifts for Susan. She called in the morning to say that she was back from her travels. I went over and had coffee in the early afternoon and heard about her trip with Anne up to Juneau and Skagway Alaska.
Talked to Luke about some decisions he had to make before the end of the week, whether to travel to Europe this fall with Kyla, get a job, continue with his interviews for the City police and RCMP (become responsible) or go to school. The first police interview suggested that he move out on his own and get a little life experience. He is in a quandary but will make a good decision, which will strengthen him. It was very nice to see Susan since we have not seen each other for a while.
The driveway for the showhome is being constructed with the concrete pour on Tuesday which will not interfere with show home traffic since it is so slow at the moment.
An evening thundershower with winds is keeping everyone close to home.
John and I are meeting with a client at his place to continue with the finalization on details on his new home. I expect it to go quite well.
Gillian called late last night to express her frustration with none of the family calling Simon and Kati about their wedding. She is very distraught that none of the family is showing her and Simon the proper respect. This will continue well after the fall gathering in Toronto for the newlywed couple.
Gillian will continue to be frustrated by the lack of response from the family. I do not have anything to say that will make any sense to her, relative to the intensity she is displaying because it is her son's wedding. Her comments regarding the great low level of responsibility that Jason is showing to those around him is disproportionate to what he is really doing. Oh well, families are an intricate lot.
Cory is thinking of making a decision to work full time in the special effects area. He will do well.
Dana is continuing to do well in his field of work. He was a little frustrated that he missed out on a special effects jobs because he took some straight labor work but it shows that he is trying to get all the work that is available and is not being to picky. A nice sign; shows a degree of maturity.
After a discussion with Susan, I will make a concentrated effort to move to the south side so that time will not be such an issue in our relationship. I will have to resume my search in the next couple of days and revisit the loft on the south side.
Wednesday, June 20, hot and sunny with a possible thunderstorm in the evening, +26
Workman poured a driveway for the showhome on Tuesday so we kept the unit closed for the day. I did some shopping during the day for odds and ends.
I talked to Susan during the daytime before she went to see her dad.
Checked out a couple more apartment rental units and made an appointment to see a unit on Wednesday afternoon.
Went over in the evening to see Susan and continue getting reacquainted. We went for a walk with Dusty, her dog, before it got dark. We tried to redefine our relationship and discussed how we wanted to interact in the future. It was quite relaxed and comfortable. She got a phone call from a friend whose father was quite ill, so I left her to the conversation.
Warren called me to arrange a squash game for Wednesday evening.
I picked up mother for lunch on Wednesday, to discuss the wedding that Simon and Gillian are in charge of.
Mother is quite angry that she is not being treated correctly.
Terry is on the list of people who are ignoring her, along with his attitude toward her. Cheryl is frustrating mother because she does not want to settle down. Gillian’s discomfort is the only bright spot. Mother is happy that Gillian is so flustered by the wedding not progressing as she wants it to do. Such is life.
I dropped by the apartment to have a look. It is a ground floor unit facing south east quite secluded from the street noise and intrusion. As large as the unit I am currently in with the appliance, storage space and general decor quite modern. It will be painted when the present tenant moves out. I filled out an application, left a deposit and I hope to move in Aug. 1. The rent is $550 per month on a yearly lease. It would be a benefit if I could move in before the end of the month to allow for a cheaper move and I would have more time to get out of my place, clean it and move into this one. Moving into this unit should be quite easy because it is on the ground floor with access from the back through the patio door. I will arrange for the sofa, chair and bed to be picked up by Good Will before I move so the move is easier. When I purchase the bed and sofa I can have them delivered directly to the new place. What a plan. The manager lives in-house so I should have no trouble with any noises from the other tenants. I noticed a tennis court across the street. The new YMCA is down the street a couple of blocks. It will have good facilities for racquetball games between Susan and myself.
John acquired some information about the lot in Sherwood Park that John and Nadine are interested in. I passed along the information on Tuesday. John said he would have a look at the property and get back to us. I told him that the lots were moving quickly and that he could secure the lot he preferred with a deposit of $1000 that would hold it for 21 days.
I am getting some traffic at the show home today. With the weather being quite nice, people are starting to feel pressure to make a decision if they want their new home to be completed before winter.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
The Tension is Mounting
Monday, May 28, clear with clouds building, extreme winds +56 km, + 25
The supper at Cheryl's last night was enjoyable.
Met Daryl, her boyfriend, at long last, he seems to be an agreeable sort of fellow. Cheryl’s dad and partner, Merci, were at the house when I arrived. Mother and Cheryl’s younger sister, Lesel were also present. Cheryl’s brothers showed up later in the evening with some of their “Mud Bogging crew”. Terry was quite pleased with his weekend of dancing with Merci. “TJ”, Cheryl’s son, has grown up nicely and plays by himself with toys including his Nintendo on the TV. Lesel is as beautiful as ever and brings a great deal of confidence with her because of her job in San Francisco. Mother was pleasant but was a little unhappy that Cheryl has changed jobs again. I am sure mother did not sleep well last night.
Gillian called to talk with Lesel, asking her if she was able to come to her son’s wedding in Austria. Most of the family are still not able to understand how important the attendance of the family to Simon’s wedding is to Gillian. They also do not see the value of attending the function and how little they would miss at home by going to this once in a life time event. It is easier, they think, to make up excuses why they cannot go then to see what they will gain by going.
I spent the morning looking at new rental units on the south end of the city. The prices for the new places are higher (100 to 175 dollars) for places that are not as nice. The only interesting unit is the one bedroom and loft in the south end of the city. The move-in date of Sunday, July 1 is not a good day considering I have to work on that day. Aug 1 is on a Wednesday which would be much better.
I am not sure why I am moving to the south side? Is it to rescue a relationship that has changed in Susan's mind to the degree that she is no longer interested? Am I doing a positive thought process that will, by moving closer to her, show her that I am determined to save this relationship? I will have to talk to Warren about these things during or after our squash games.
I am going to call Susan, the bird lady, this evening to try to talk with her. I do not know if she is out of town and did not get my message or is just ignoring me? This should clear it up one way or the other. It will make me feel sad if she is not interested in continuing the discussion we had at Shirley's party. I do not know what to expect? The feeling of loss in not talking to Susan over the past few days has not been as great as before and will continue to subside as time passes. I am not sure how much I will miss her when she is on her trip up north.
Susan’s friend called last night to chat. She is concerned about what is happening between us after she had talked to Susan. Her husband, Fred is working up in Fort McMurray on a regular basis.
Dana called last night in a good mood. He had worked several days last week with Jason and was to work again this week. He said that Jason was in charge of a large Walt Disney movie that should last till August. He was told by Jason that he has continuous work as long as the shoot is in Toronto. This would enable Dana to get back on his feet again, financially and emotionally. Good for him. He is still low on money and asked for money to clear up a cell phone debt.
Tuesday, May 29, day turned cloudy and cool with rain all afternoon, +11
This should help dampen the massive forest fires that are occurring near the City of Slave Lake.
I had coffee at the north Timmy’s when Ann, Susan’s friend, appeared to pick up coffee and a donut for her break. We chatted a while about her work, then a little about the situation between Susan and myself. We had an open discussion about the situation. Her understanding of the situation was interesting. She feels that this separation is a temporary event.
This is getting to be a small world as far as I am concerned. To bump into her three times over the last two months all in different localities is quite an amazing coincidence. She is pleasant to talk to, though.
Since she enjoys golf there might be a golf game in it some time.
Tried to contact Susan, the bird lady, in the evening but she was not home. I did not leave a message. I will try to contact her again for coffee on Wednesday or Thursday.
Cheryl enthusiastically took the job at the hotel/ restaurant complex.
She and several others quit their positions at the hostel association because of the management and the board of directors. She commented that she may be moving to the area near her work over the summer to create a little stability for TJ. Mother is still quite perturbed by all this movement by Cheryl and her inability or desire to hold a long term job. I offered my opinion that it was Cheryl’s choice to be erratic, something she has done all her life.
Set up an appointment to get my car fixed (new clutch and a major tune up) next week. I will get it done so I do not receive any surprise breakdowns on the road. Now the timing belt is the only item to replace, but I know that I have 20 or 30 thousand Km more before I have to do it.
Warren and I played a great series of squash matches last night. He won the series but it was very close. I went into the match thinking that it was his turn to win because I won the last series. I played to win but not hard enough, I guess.
Derek called for lunch, but late, so I was in the middle of doing laundry and said we would do it another time.
I checked out several other apartment locations for prices and locations. The move and new apartments will be expensive. I will wait for a while and get some more information and possibly move Aug. 1, if I am still inclined and if I still feel a need to be on the south side to be closer to Susan.
Time moves on.
Wednesday, May 30, Raining all day finally, cool. +11,
The continuous rain will give a welcome relief to the land that has been dry for the last year. The massive fires north of Edmonton will be brought under control by these rains, I hope.
Talked with Susan for a minute to arrange a coffee meet on Thursday. She said that she did some more thinking after our meeting last week, I would have suspected so.
Very little is happening at the moment in home sales.
Neither of my clients has called back after the messages I left. It is up to them; I should not feel a rush to create closure. I am sure they are feeling under greater pressure than I am, to get something done. I can last for a long time under these conditions.
The single pay check from one home sale is enough to satisfy my needs for a couple of months.
A relaxed posture, being here and now as Warren says will allow me to enjoy these special moments that I am being granted.
I was able to get the prices and information necessary for me to order the battery for the computer from a local computer store.
I am going to lay my interest in Susan, the bird lady, to rest until she calls. If she is not interested and I push it, all it will do is frustrate both of us. If it happens -it happens, if not - oh well.
The thought of the where-abouts of Jim and Jeff has been in my mind over the past short while. I would hope that they reappear and join the group again. The possibility of meeting Nora again is remote but I would be pleased if it did occur.
May 31, Thursday, sunny and warm +23, rain in the forecast
The month is ending and June is upon us.
Had my teeth cleaned today which turned out ok but got the news that I might have some possible trouble around several teeth. The dentist would like to send me to a specialist. I am going back in three months for another cleaning and continued maintenance of the offending teeth. Not what I wanted to hear but these are the events of life.
I had a good meeting with one of my clients about their new home. They need further specific numbers on their wish list for our next meeting in the middle of June. The processing of the estate will be settled by the end of July at the latest and we can proceed. It is nice to feel that things are moving along.
Looking forward to seeing Susan tonight for coffee.
Small world, my client works in the same U of A department as Susan, the bird lady.
Cory called to share his joy about his new bike. Even he thinks it is quite an incredible bike. 24 gears that allow a rider to climb an almost vertical wall. He is having a great deal of fun with it. He is filling in for Dana on Jason's crew in Hamilton today. Dana has to pick up a friend from Sask. so cannot make the day's work. Dana has been working steady for the last week with continuous work for the foreseeable future. The Disney film is a go with major work for Dana starting on June 3/4. I was able to talk with Gillian for a short time last night after talking with Cory. Her two lady painter renters of the top room, paid, but did not stay the full month. Gillian said that she did an enormous amount of work hauling up painting tables and all the necessary things for the women and feels quite sad that they did not continue their stay. She is almost beside herself with sadness that no one from the West is going to Austria for Simon's wedding. She said that not many of Simon and Kathi's friends from Toronto have said they are going to the wedding in Austria. Gillian and Jason are going to have a great party for Simon and Kathi in Toronto at the end of September. I am sure that she will start insisting that those who did not go to Austria come to Toronto. She continues to ask as a child would, instead of asking once and leaving it alone. She has no insight to how debilitating this is for her. She feels quite slighted that she has done all these things, such as coming out west, and no one is doing enough to come to her son's wedding. The purchasing of Jason's suit to ensure that Simon's wishes were adhered to was quite the inspired touch by Jason. He has this ability to say no with the full knowledge that Gillian will rise to the occasion and arrange for the necessary work to do be done.
He will be in for a great loss when she is not able or willing to do this for him. If he gets a woman to act like Gillian she will not be able to make him happy. She will never be able to do enough for him. He will not be happy with a woman that does not do these things for him; he is quite spoiled by his mother.
The men are meeting at the Second cup because of the appointment that I have at the house.
Tomorrow is the massage that I am looking forward to. Odette is the new girl. I will have to ask Susan her experience in getting a massage by her.
June 2/ Saturday, cloudy with light splattering of rain +17
Odette is the daughter of Ernie the photographer from my home town. She has a very good technique. Had the massage in the morning, lunched at Gino's then went to Goose Hummock for a round of golf. The winds continue to blow briskly from the south east. The golfing was good, with my game adjusting to the wind whenever necessary. Had a excellent supper at a local restaurant than returned home to watch a little TV.
Susan called in the evening to talk about some thoughts she was having about her journey, personal and physical.
Luke is determined to travel to Europe this summer or fall to get some experience in life.
Susan’s niece, Kyla, says she wants to go but Susan does not think that she has the maturity or the distance from her mother to make it happen.
Met Susan for coffee at Chapter's on Thursday evening. She was frolicking around and being quite sexually aggressive throughout the evening. She is experimenting and exploring her desires at the moment, along with testing me to see how strong I can be in resisting her. She wants to be able to be free to search for things and still sample my life and intimacies. I will hold her at arms length to allow her to see the picture as a whole. She is acting like a teenager. She is willing to experiment with her life as she has not been able to do before. Her reluctance to become physically involved with another man to achieve what she is looking for is both amusing and entertaining. I have felt a small tinge of jealousy at this news.
Warren and I had another great series of squash games on Saturday morning. He informed me that Canada development bank has turned down his request for financing. They suggested that he did not want to grow fast enough for their requirements. He was a little sad about this information but we did not have a chance to discuss it further.
John and I made a call to a previous client to get more information about the status of the price reduction of the lot but I have not heard whether she has responded on Friday or Saturday. The meeting with another client went very well with the price point being accepted. We are fine tuning the requirements for the house with another meeting slated for the middle of June. The executor, his brother, will be in Edmonton at the beginning of July with the settlement of the estate during the month of July. They said, at that point they would commit to the new home.
The brisk wind continues from the south east. Clouds are building from the west, creating the potential of rain that is sorrowfully needed. The northern forests are still tinder dry. The jet stream looks like a wisp loop centering the dry heat that is centered over Alberta. The western prairies are drier than they have been in 75 years. It will be another difficult year for the farmers that are already on the brink of bankruptcy. Perhaps this will be a message to many of them to move on to another way of life and existence. The gardeners have arrived at the show home to plant the foliage that is required to make the courtyard the unique space that it was designed to be.
Tuesday, June 5. Sunny with cloudy periods, +21 , some winds
The two days of rain on the weekend was gratefully received by the fire fighters up north, the farmers and the public in general. Monday and Tuesday call for occasional showers with some winds out of the south east.
Susan left for up north on Sunday afternoon. I chatted with her in the morning before she left. She is still brimming over with expectations of fun and frivolity in her life. She is being quite a pixie in her actions and spontaneous relations with me. I am standing my ground if only to frustrate her and give her something hard to work her emotions against. We will see what her travels, discussions with Anne and her discontinuance of anti smoking drugs will bring. Two weeks - and I am lonely for her already; maybe because she is not in the city.
I had lunch with Derek on Monday. He has settled down a little after his anxiety attack (heart attack) scare. He is still aware of the fragility of life. But he is more aware of what he can control and what he can not. He was concerned about the lack of sales and the subsequent effect on my emotions as opposed to the financial concerns.
The routine is getting quite depressing and frustrating. My clients are not responding to any phone calls; one agreement is still a month and a half away; now the other deal is something I have to be apprehensive about. I am not sure whether he will commit to building a house or if he is just getting some information.
I will put a positive spin on it so we will achieve positive results. I will ask John to take part in the meeting with him on Wednesday night.
On the other hand, Mother is well. She is finding humor in Gillian's continuing discussion of the upcoming wedding and all the details that are not coming together fast enough.
Cory is working continually and enjoyed the day spent with Jason on set, when he took Dana's place. Dana reports that he has been working at a good place and is happy with what is happening; although the Walt Disney film that was to start this week has been postponed till the fall. Dana has company from Sask. for the past week and is quite happy showing her around Toronto.
I contacted Shirley for coffee but we cannot meet till next Thursday. I have decided to travel down to the south country on Thursday to golf if the weather is reasonable. I was able to do the service work (clutch replacement and major tune up) $1500 on Monday so the car will be road worthy. The mechanics did not find anything else that needed replacement at the moment. The brakes, steering, all belts and hoses were good. Timing belt, tires and windshield can be done in the fall.
I am having a difficult time dealing with the quietness of the situation but I remind myself that I am quite busy taking care of myself. This unreasonable demand on myself to be excessively busy is just a feeling that comes from my inner child when he becomes nervous. This too will pass.
Warren canceled the squash game last night because of business conflicts but we are meeting tonight to get some exercise in, perhaps coffee later.
The supper at Cheryl's last night was enjoyable.
Met Daryl, her boyfriend, at long last, he seems to be an agreeable sort of fellow. Cheryl’s dad and partner, Merci, were at the house when I arrived. Mother and Cheryl’s younger sister, Lesel were also present. Cheryl’s brothers showed up later in the evening with some of their “Mud Bogging crew”. Terry was quite pleased with his weekend of dancing with Merci. “TJ”, Cheryl’s son, has grown up nicely and plays by himself with toys including his Nintendo on the TV. Lesel is as beautiful as ever and brings a great deal of confidence with her because of her job in San Francisco. Mother was pleasant but was a little unhappy that Cheryl has changed jobs again. I am sure mother did not sleep well last night.
Gillian called to talk with Lesel, asking her if she was able to come to her son’s wedding in Austria. Most of the family are still not able to understand how important the attendance of the family to Simon’s wedding is to Gillian. They also do not see the value of attending the function and how little they would miss at home by going to this once in a life time event. It is easier, they think, to make up excuses why they cannot go then to see what they will gain by going.
I spent the morning looking at new rental units on the south end of the city. The prices for the new places are higher (100 to 175 dollars) for places that are not as nice. The only interesting unit is the one bedroom and loft in the south end of the city. The move-in date of Sunday, July 1 is not a good day considering I have to work on that day. Aug 1 is on a Wednesday which would be much better.
I am not sure why I am moving to the south side? Is it to rescue a relationship that has changed in Susan's mind to the degree that she is no longer interested? Am I doing a positive thought process that will, by moving closer to her, show her that I am determined to save this relationship? I will have to talk to Warren about these things during or after our squash games.
I am going to call Susan, the bird lady, this evening to try to talk with her. I do not know if she is out of town and did not get my message or is just ignoring me? This should clear it up one way or the other. It will make me feel sad if she is not interested in continuing the discussion we had at Shirley's party. I do not know what to expect? The feeling of loss in not talking to Susan over the past few days has not been as great as before and will continue to subside as time passes. I am not sure how much I will miss her when she is on her trip up north.
Susan’s friend called last night to chat. She is concerned about what is happening between us after she had talked to Susan. Her husband, Fred is working up in Fort McMurray on a regular basis.
Dana called last night in a good mood. He had worked several days last week with Jason and was to work again this week. He said that Jason was in charge of a large Walt Disney movie that should last till August. He was told by Jason that he has continuous work as long as the shoot is in Toronto. This would enable Dana to get back on his feet again, financially and emotionally. Good for him. He is still low on money and asked for money to clear up a cell phone debt.
Tuesday, May 29, day turned cloudy and cool with rain all afternoon, +11
This should help dampen the massive forest fires that are occurring near the City of Slave Lake.
I had coffee at the north Timmy’s when Ann, Susan’s friend, appeared to pick up coffee and a donut for her break. We chatted a while about her work, then a little about the situation between Susan and myself. We had an open discussion about the situation. Her understanding of the situation was interesting. She feels that this separation is a temporary event.
This is getting to be a small world as far as I am concerned. To bump into her three times over the last two months all in different localities is quite an amazing coincidence. She is pleasant to talk to, though.
Since she enjoys golf there might be a golf game in it some time.
Tried to contact Susan, the bird lady, in the evening but she was not home. I did not leave a message. I will try to contact her again for coffee on Wednesday or Thursday.
Cheryl enthusiastically took the job at the hotel/ restaurant complex.
She and several others quit their positions at the hostel association because of the management and the board of directors. She commented that she may be moving to the area near her work over the summer to create a little stability for TJ. Mother is still quite perturbed by all this movement by Cheryl and her inability or desire to hold a long term job. I offered my opinion that it was Cheryl’s choice to be erratic, something she has done all her life.
Set up an appointment to get my car fixed (new clutch and a major tune up) next week. I will get it done so I do not receive any surprise breakdowns on the road. Now the timing belt is the only item to replace, but I know that I have 20 or 30 thousand Km more before I have to do it.
Warren and I played a great series of squash matches last night. He won the series but it was very close. I went into the match thinking that it was his turn to win because I won the last series. I played to win but not hard enough, I guess.
Derek called for lunch, but late, so I was in the middle of doing laundry and said we would do it another time.
I checked out several other apartment locations for prices and locations. The move and new apartments will be expensive. I will wait for a while and get some more information and possibly move Aug. 1, if I am still inclined and if I still feel a need to be on the south side to be closer to Susan.
Time moves on.
Wednesday, May 30, Raining all day finally, cool. +11,
The continuous rain will give a welcome relief to the land that has been dry for the last year. The massive fires north of Edmonton will be brought under control by these rains, I hope.
Talked with Susan for a minute to arrange a coffee meet on Thursday. She said that she did some more thinking after our meeting last week, I would have suspected so.
Very little is happening at the moment in home sales.
Neither of my clients has called back after the messages I left. It is up to them; I should not feel a rush to create closure. I am sure they are feeling under greater pressure than I am, to get something done. I can last for a long time under these conditions.
The single pay check from one home sale is enough to satisfy my needs for a couple of months.
A relaxed posture, being here and now as Warren says will allow me to enjoy these special moments that I am being granted.
I was able to get the prices and information necessary for me to order the battery for the computer from a local computer store.
I am going to lay my interest in Susan, the bird lady, to rest until she calls. If she is not interested and I push it, all it will do is frustrate both of us. If it happens -it happens, if not - oh well.
The thought of the where-abouts of Jim and Jeff has been in my mind over the past short while. I would hope that they reappear and join the group again. The possibility of meeting Nora again is remote but I would be pleased if it did occur.
May 31, Thursday, sunny and warm +23, rain in the forecast
The month is ending and June is upon us.
Had my teeth cleaned today which turned out ok but got the news that I might have some possible trouble around several teeth. The dentist would like to send me to a specialist. I am going back in three months for another cleaning and continued maintenance of the offending teeth. Not what I wanted to hear but these are the events of life.
I had a good meeting with one of my clients about their new home. They need further specific numbers on their wish list for our next meeting in the middle of June. The processing of the estate will be settled by the end of July at the latest and we can proceed. It is nice to feel that things are moving along.
Looking forward to seeing Susan tonight for coffee.
Small world, my client works in the same U of A department as Susan, the bird lady.
Cory called to share his joy about his new bike. Even he thinks it is quite an incredible bike. 24 gears that allow a rider to climb an almost vertical wall. He is having a great deal of fun with it. He is filling in for Dana on Jason's crew in Hamilton today. Dana has to pick up a friend from Sask. so cannot make the day's work. Dana has been working steady for the last week with continuous work for the foreseeable future. The Disney film is a go with major work for Dana starting on June 3/4. I was able to talk with Gillian for a short time last night after talking with Cory. Her two lady painter renters of the top room, paid, but did not stay the full month. Gillian said that she did an enormous amount of work hauling up painting tables and all the necessary things for the women and feels quite sad that they did not continue their stay. She is almost beside herself with sadness that no one from the West is going to Austria for Simon's wedding. She said that not many of Simon and Kathi's friends from Toronto have said they are going to the wedding in Austria. Gillian and Jason are going to have a great party for Simon and Kathi in Toronto at the end of September. I am sure that she will start insisting that those who did not go to Austria come to Toronto. She continues to ask as a child would, instead of asking once and leaving it alone. She has no insight to how debilitating this is for her. She feels quite slighted that she has done all these things, such as coming out west, and no one is doing enough to come to her son's wedding. The purchasing of Jason's suit to ensure that Simon's wishes were adhered to was quite the inspired touch by Jason. He has this ability to say no with the full knowledge that Gillian will rise to the occasion and arrange for the necessary work to do be done.
He will be in for a great loss when she is not able or willing to do this for him. If he gets a woman to act like Gillian she will not be able to make him happy. She will never be able to do enough for him. He will not be happy with a woman that does not do these things for him; he is quite spoiled by his mother.
The men are meeting at the Second cup because of the appointment that I have at the house.
Tomorrow is the massage that I am looking forward to. Odette is the new girl. I will have to ask Susan her experience in getting a massage by her.
June 2/ Saturday, cloudy with light splattering of rain +17
Odette is the daughter of Ernie the photographer from my home town. She has a very good technique. Had the massage in the morning, lunched at Gino's then went to Goose Hummock for a round of golf. The winds continue to blow briskly from the south east. The golfing was good, with my game adjusting to the wind whenever necessary. Had a excellent supper at a local restaurant than returned home to watch a little TV.
Susan called in the evening to talk about some thoughts she was having about her journey, personal and physical.
Luke is determined to travel to Europe this summer or fall to get some experience in life.
Susan’s niece, Kyla, says she wants to go but Susan does not think that she has the maturity or the distance from her mother to make it happen.
Met Susan for coffee at Chapter's on Thursday evening. She was frolicking around and being quite sexually aggressive throughout the evening. She is experimenting and exploring her desires at the moment, along with testing me to see how strong I can be in resisting her. She wants to be able to be free to search for things and still sample my life and intimacies. I will hold her at arms length to allow her to see the picture as a whole. She is acting like a teenager. She is willing to experiment with her life as she has not been able to do before. Her reluctance to become physically involved with another man to achieve what she is looking for is both amusing and entertaining. I have felt a small tinge of jealousy at this news.
Warren and I had another great series of squash games on Saturday morning. He informed me that Canada development bank has turned down his request for financing. They suggested that he did not want to grow fast enough for their requirements. He was a little sad about this information but we did not have a chance to discuss it further.
John and I made a call to a previous client to get more information about the status of the price reduction of the lot but I have not heard whether she has responded on Friday or Saturday. The meeting with another client went very well with the price point being accepted. We are fine tuning the requirements for the house with another meeting slated for the middle of June. The executor, his brother, will be in Edmonton at the beginning of July with the settlement of the estate during the month of July. They said, at that point they would commit to the new home.
The brisk wind continues from the south east. Clouds are building from the west, creating the potential of rain that is sorrowfully needed. The northern forests are still tinder dry. The jet stream looks like a wisp loop centering the dry heat that is centered over Alberta. The western prairies are drier than they have been in 75 years. It will be another difficult year for the farmers that are already on the brink of bankruptcy. Perhaps this will be a message to many of them to move on to another way of life and existence. The gardeners have arrived at the show home to plant the foliage that is required to make the courtyard the unique space that it was designed to be.
Tuesday, June 5. Sunny with cloudy periods, +21 , some winds
The two days of rain on the weekend was gratefully received by the fire fighters up north, the farmers and the public in general. Monday and Tuesday call for occasional showers with some winds out of the south east.
Susan left for up north on Sunday afternoon. I chatted with her in the morning before she left. She is still brimming over with expectations of fun and frivolity in her life. She is being quite a pixie in her actions and spontaneous relations with me. I am standing my ground if only to frustrate her and give her something hard to work her emotions against. We will see what her travels, discussions with Anne and her discontinuance of anti smoking drugs will bring. Two weeks - and I am lonely for her already; maybe because she is not in the city.
I had lunch with Derek on Monday. He has settled down a little after his anxiety attack (heart attack) scare. He is still aware of the fragility of life. But he is more aware of what he can control and what he can not. He was concerned about the lack of sales and the subsequent effect on my emotions as opposed to the financial concerns.
The routine is getting quite depressing and frustrating. My clients are not responding to any phone calls; one agreement is still a month and a half away; now the other deal is something I have to be apprehensive about. I am not sure whether he will commit to building a house or if he is just getting some information.
I will put a positive spin on it so we will achieve positive results. I will ask John to take part in the meeting with him on Wednesday night.
On the other hand, Mother is well. She is finding humor in Gillian's continuing discussion of the upcoming wedding and all the details that are not coming together fast enough.
Cory is working continually and enjoyed the day spent with Jason on set, when he took Dana's place. Dana reports that he has been working at a good place and is happy with what is happening; although the Walt Disney film that was to start this week has been postponed till the fall. Dana has company from Sask. for the past week and is quite happy showing her around Toronto.
I contacted Shirley for coffee but we cannot meet till next Thursday. I have decided to travel down to the south country on Thursday to golf if the weather is reasonable. I was able to do the service work (clutch replacement and major tune up) $1500 on Monday so the car will be road worthy. The mechanics did not find anything else that needed replacement at the moment. The brakes, steering, all belts and hoses were good. Timing belt, tires and windshield can be done in the fall.
I am having a difficult time dealing with the quietness of the situation but I remind myself that I am quite busy taking care of myself. This unreasonable demand on myself to be excessively busy is just a feeling that comes from my inner child when he becomes nervous. This too will pass.
Warren canceled the squash game last night because of business conflicts but we are meeting tonight to get some exercise in, perhaps coffee later.
