Monday, June 27, 2005
The Sail Back
Wednesday morning, weighed anchor, motored out into the channel, set sail and slipped quietly down the channel, the helicopter loggers continued their work. Several other boats followed the Raffiki out through the channel into the straits. We are on downward winds as we tacked down toward Egmont.
After an hour we arrived at the small port of Egmont and anchored. We picked up provisions, made our desired phone calls, some of greater length than others. Stocked up on film and Rob stocked up on his cigars; his pipe broken and unrepairable was given a sea burial with a song and a dollop of Scotch. It was readily apparent to all of us that this was not the place to anchor for the night; there were other boats in the harbor, much too crowded for us. We sailed back to Harmony Island to rest for the night. Only one other boat was in the vicinity. Another cloudless night, the moon was three quarters full, the stars bright and with their reflections in the smooth water. A full selection of music provided by Jeff carried us through the evening. Warren braved the leaky dinghy to anchor the shore line. Through out the night Jeff maintained a light watch of the anchor that was slipping on the rock bottom, a tide moved the vessel and slipped the anchor, although no danger was encountered.
Thursday, dawned clear again, but with a stiff breeze, we all looked forward to a good sail to Secret Cove, a destination 7 hours away. Sails up, tacking with the breeze, checking charts and current weather reports we took turns sailing south toward Vancouver. Those not steering, caught up with their reading, meditating and just daydreaming. The gusting winds, had flipped Warren's hat off several times during the previous days. However with the clip pin, it stayed attached to his sweater. Jeff was not as fortunate, a strong gust while sailing flew his favorite German hat into the water. Immediately, the crew sprung into a confused action. We turned, retraced our path, spotted the hat and promptly sailed over it, and it sank. We were fortunate it was not a human we were trying to rescue. After a few fitting words were said, we raised sail and moved on toward Secret Cove. The brisk wind continued till we moved into the channel at Secret Cove.
We motored around the three channels to get a feeling of the harbor. We docked for the night. After taking advantage of hot showers and steady floors we explored the harbor area on foot. Having noticed a restaurant on a cliff, we made way on foot to enjoy a leisurely supper, Comment was made that the food was perhaps not any better than we were preparing. We agreed that discussion about religion; politics and philosophy were to be off limits, after sparring in these areas earlier in the day. Having run out of baking cinnamon's buns, four more packets were purchased for the following mornings. Some shopping was done for the preferred members in our lives. Discussion continued between us, about co-dependence, our struggles, victories and losses. No new plans were laid out, verbal and emotional borders were challenged but no conclusions achieved in Jeff and Warren's space. Warren may move from his current city but knows that he would only be running away.
Friday, clear with a promise of wind, a storm was building west of Vancouver Island, we need to docked in Comox by Saturday morning. Need to be in port by dark Friday night. The promise of wind ensures us a great sail. Little did we know? Motored out into the channel and set sail. Winds were building from 10 knots steadily upwards. We were sailing downwind so tacking was not required.
Sailed quickly and easily till a little after noon, lunch was made by Warren, brought up and enjoyed by all. The wind was picking up, as the channel turned west Jeff, shortened the sail and put up the jib. We were making good time; with little to worry about those not engaged in active sailing watched the shore, read and discussed life. The wind continued to pick up; Chris a little nervous, started the diesel to steady the vessel, turned into the wind and pulled in the main sail. We unfurled the jib to full and ran before the wind toward home. Rounding the island tip the wind was beginning to turn into a full gale. The wind was off our port stern with gusts to 30 knots. When we left the protection of the island the full force and power of the wind became apparent. After a small discussion, we decided to continue to destination. Out of the island's protection the waves continued to build to 6 and 8 feet. Warren gave up the steering helm to Rob after he became uncomfortable with the boats instability.
After wet we could not become wetter.
Jeff was checking the channel for the markers, held on board by Warren and Peter.
With a calm realization by all of us, we grimly accepted the knowledge that the water was frigid, the winds strong and if we fell off or the boat was swamped and we fell into the water; there would be no rescue. The Coast Guard was in the area but would not be effective except for location and retrieval. With sober determination and quiet confidence we knew we had only our skills, belief and determination to see the sun shine tomorrow.
With a small correction for wind drift, we located the channel buoys and sailed up the channel to port in the late evening, relieved we felt the worst was behind us. Jeff with his master skill positioned the vessel to dock in a small dock. Ever present, the gusting wind had a mind of its own and moved our vessel toward the docked vessels. With a concentrated effort and all out strength, the crew managed to manhandle the boat to escape with only minor damage to our boat and moor our vessel to a vessel already docked. After securing our vessel we retired to the inn for warm food and drink.
Warming up as we sat in the Inn, we discussed what we had just gone through. Expressions of fear and elation mixed with sobriety took us through the meal. Jeff struggling with his inability to control the wind, the boat to dock successfully surfaced with great anguish. He had to come to terms that he had done all that was humanly possible, accept it humbly and honestly, taking responsibility for the damage and the method used to secure the vessel in the conditions present. We all had done all that we could have done and this was reality. Upon returning, we had a discussion with the cruise captain/boat rental manager as to our method of securing the vessel. With our minds comfortable in what we had done, the manager was comfortable in what we had done under the conditions available.
With this settled, we retired for the evening, during the night the storm passed over us, severe winds from the south east , dead calm as the eye of the storm passed over us, the severe winds from the west.. Vancouver, to the south experienced winds in the 90 knot category, trees and vegetation were uprooted in the storm's ferocity. The morning dawned clear and calm. The crew was up before dawn, making ready to disembark, after fueling, we docked with the help of cruise staff, a feat quite tricky even in dead calm. Accounts were settled, gear was stowed, pictures were taken, our departure vehicle was readied and we left, we all had a backward look at the exquisite scenery. Lunch was taken at the Malahat café overlooking the inlet. Upon arrival at the airport, preparation was made to transfer the vehicle to Warren, who was staying several more days; Jeff, Rob and Peter were flying home on that Sunday. The three of us made our way home by plane. Phone calls made at the Vancouver airport, alerted our favored people of our safety and imminent arrival.
With no time to come down and relax from our excursion, our immersion into work the following Monday was done with little energy and enthusiasm. Warren's decision to stay and relax in Victoria for several days was a wise move.
After an hour we arrived at the small port of Egmont and anchored. We picked up provisions, made our desired phone calls, some of greater length than others. Stocked up on film and Rob stocked up on his cigars; his pipe broken and unrepairable was given a sea burial with a song and a dollop of Scotch. It was readily apparent to all of us that this was not the place to anchor for the night; there were other boats in the harbor, much too crowded for us. We sailed back to Harmony Island to rest for the night. Only one other boat was in the vicinity. Another cloudless night, the moon was three quarters full, the stars bright and with their reflections in the smooth water. A full selection of music provided by Jeff carried us through the evening. Warren braved the leaky dinghy to anchor the shore line. Through out the night Jeff maintained a light watch of the anchor that was slipping on the rock bottom, a tide moved the vessel and slipped the anchor, although no danger was encountered.
Thursday, dawned clear again, but with a stiff breeze, we all looked forward to a good sail to Secret Cove, a destination 7 hours away. Sails up, tacking with the breeze, checking charts and current weather reports we took turns sailing south toward Vancouver. Those not steering, caught up with their reading, meditating and just daydreaming. The gusting winds, had flipped Warren's hat off several times during the previous days. However with the clip pin, it stayed attached to his sweater. Jeff was not as fortunate, a strong gust while sailing flew his favorite German hat into the water. Immediately, the crew sprung into a confused action. We turned, retraced our path, spotted the hat and promptly sailed over it, and it sank. We were fortunate it was not a human we were trying to rescue. After a few fitting words were said, we raised sail and moved on toward Secret Cove. The brisk wind continued till we moved into the channel at Secret Cove.
We motored around the three channels to get a feeling of the harbor. We docked for the night. After taking advantage of hot showers and steady floors we explored the harbor area on foot. Having noticed a restaurant on a cliff, we made way on foot to enjoy a leisurely supper, Comment was made that the food was perhaps not any better than we were preparing. We agreed that discussion about religion; politics and philosophy were to be off limits, after sparring in these areas earlier in the day. Having run out of baking cinnamon's buns, four more packets were purchased for the following mornings. Some shopping was done for the preferred members in our lives. Discussion continued between us, about co-dependence, our struggles, victories and losses. No new plans were laid out, verbal and emotional borders were challenged but no conclusions achieved in Jeff and Warren's space. Warren may move from his current city but knows that he would only be running away.
Friday, clear with a promise of wind, a storm was building west of Vancouver Island, we need to docked in Comox by Saturday morning. Need to be in port by dark Friday night. The promise of wind ensures us a great sail. Little did we know? Motored out into the channel and set sail. Winds were building from 10 knots steadily upwards. We were sailing downwind so tacking was not required.
Sailed quickly and easily till a little after noon, lunch was made by Warren, brought up and enjoyed by all. The wind was picking up, as the channel turned west Jeff, shortened the sail and put up the jib. We were making good time; with little to worry about those not engaged in active sailing watched the shore, read and discussed life. The wind continued to pick up; Chris a little nervous, started the diesel to steady the vessel, turned into the wind and pulled in the main sail. We unfurled the jib to full and ran before the wind toward home. Rounding the island tip the wind was beginning to turn into a full gale. The wind was off our port stern with gusts to 30 knots. When we left the protection of the island the full force and power of the wind became apparent. After a small discussion, we decided to continue to destination. Out of the island's protection the waves continued to build to 6 and 8 feet. Warren gave up the steering helm to Rob after he became uncomfortable with the boats instability.
After wet we could not become wetter.
Jeff was checking the channel for the markers, held on board by Warren and Peter.
With a calm realization by all of us, we grimly accepted the knowledge that the water was frigid, the winds strong and if we fell off or the boat was swamped and we fell into the water; there would be no rescue. The Coast Guard was in the area but would not be effective except for location and retrieval. With sober determination and quiet confidence we knew we had only our skills, belief and determination to see the sun shine tomorrow.
With a small correction for wind drift, we located the channel buoys and sailed up the channel to port in the late evening, relieved we felt the worst was behind us. Jeff with his master skill positioned the vessel to dock in a small dock. Ever present, the gusting wind had a mind of its own and moved our vessel toward the docked vessels. With a concentrated effort and all out strength, the crew managed to manhandle the boat to escape with only minor damage to our boat and moor our vessel to a vessel already docked. After securing our vessel we retired to the inn for warm food and drink.
Warming up as we sat in the Inn, we discussed what we had just gone through. Expressions of fear and elation mixed with sobriety took us through the meal. Jeff struggling with his inability to control the wind, the boat to dock successfully surfaced with great anguish. He had to come to terms that he had done all that was humanly possible, accept it humbly and honestly, taking responsibility for the damage and the method used to secure the vessel in the conditions present. We all had done all that we could have done and this was reality. Upon returning, we had a discussion with the cruise captain/boat rental manager as to our method of securing the vessel. With our minds comfortable in what we had done, the manager was comfortable in what we had done under the conditions available.
With this settled, we retired for the evening, during the night the storm passed over us, severe winds from the south east , dead calm as the eye of the storm passed over us, the severe winds from the west.. Vancouver, to the south experienced winds in the 90 knot category, trees and vegetation were uprooted in the storm's ferocity. The morning dawned clear and calm. The crew was up before dawn, making ready to disembark, after fueling, we docked with the help of cruise staff, a feat quite tricky even in dead calm. Accounts were settled, gear was stowed, pictures were taken, our departure vehicle was readied and we left, we all had a backward look at the exquisite scenery. Lunch was taken at the Malahat café overlooking the inlet. Upon arrival at the airport, preparation was made to transfer the vehicle to Warren, who was staying several more days; Jeff, Rob and Peter were flying home on that Sunday. The three of us made our way home by plane. Phone calls made at the Vancouver airport, alerted our favored people of our safety and imminent arrival.
With no time to come down and relax from our excursion, our immersion into work the following Monday was done with little energy and enthusiasm. Warren's decision to stay and relax in Victoria for several days was a wise move.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
The Climb
Warren was silent.
A back pack and nothing more, no first aid kit, no rope, no notification to any one, one match, no knife- no nothing but determination. (Our complete survival and emergency kits were all stowed neatly on board the boat but as men with only testosterone on their minds we could not make the connection to bring them along.) We started up passing through the signs and yellow caution tape that said - "stay out of this area". We proceeded to climb up and up and up, taking turns leading, following a path that was as overgrown as a lush BC forest could be. Sometimes no more than a shadow on the earth, stopping for a breath, glancing up to try to get a climpse of the cabin, 2 ladies coming down, they had been up there for 3 hours, didn't make it to the cabin but assured us that it was up there somewhere. Warren faced the challenge well, tenacity is in his makeup. We came upon 3 tree marking loggers, a surprise, startling them, as much as a pleasure for us. They assured us that the cabin was just ahead, so we pushed on. Soon, there it was, a tribute to much stronger and more determined men who created the cabin with a living items required in a home. The falls, the water and the beauty of the location all enhanced by the difficult climb to reach it.
The view of the inlet was awesome, the sun glinting on the flat channel water in the distance, the spray of the water off the falls behind us. The rivulets flowing back under the rock outcrop. The camraderie. We drank our water, juices, ate our bars and savored the essence of the moment. Ice water was poured over our heads from our caps and we soaked in the spectacle. We created this, we deserved this, we made this happen for ourselves.
20 minutes, an eternity later we started down, the light fading with the day ending but not the event.
Descending was harder for Warren then the rest of us. He asked no quarter and he accepted the help that was offered. Rock climbing was something that he would have never attempted by himself was made to us as we make our way down. The mind was willing but his legs were uncooperative. Successfully we reached the water's edge with a look back to savor the accomplishment, a small let down that a challenge was met and overcome.
Warren pushed through his boundaries and moved them out of eye sight. We created a supper of steak and condiments. The ravenous appetite enhanced the taste of the meal. The music continued.
Peter appeared after supper with a surprise for all of us. He had brought the "wish box" from our evening course that we had participated in a year and half ago. In the box were the writings from each of us at the course, responding to questions posed by the facilitators. The exercise required us to write and explore a desired lifestyle, mate, residence along with our fears and wishes. In reading the the words on the boat late in the evening darkness, after a physical challenging day, the discussion was retrospective and soft. In some areas we had achieved our wishes and in others we were still far away. Warren admitted that mountain climbing was something he would never try but had gone through that barrier earlier in the day. Sky diving was the other area that was not to be considered.
A back pack and nothing more, no first aid kit, no rope, no notification to any one, one match, no knife- no nothing but determination. (Our complete survival and emergency kits were all stowed neatly on board the boat but as men with only testosterone on their minds we could not make the connection to bring them along.) We started up passing through the signs and yellow caution tape that said - "stay out of this area". We proceeded to climb up and up and up, taking turns leading, following a path that was as overgrown as a lush BC forest could be. Sometimes no more than a shadow on the earth, stopping for a breath, glancing up to try to get a climpse of the cabin, 2 ladies coming down, they had been up there for 3 hours, didn't make it to the cabin but assured us that it was up there somewhere. Warren faced the challenge well, tenacity is in his makeup. We came upon 3 tree marking loggers, a surprise, startling them, as much as a pleasure for us. They assured us that the cabin was just ahead, so we pushed on. Soon, there it was, a tribute to much stronger and more determined men who created the cabin with a living items required in a home. The falls, the water and the beauty of the location all enhanced by the difficult climb to reach it.
The view of the inlet was awesome, the sun glinting on the flat channel water in the distance, the spray of the water off the falls behind us. The rivulets flowing back under the rock outcrop. The camraderie. We drank our water, juices, ate our bars and savored the essence of the moment. Ice water was poured over our heads from our caps and we soaked in the spectacle. We created this, we deserved this, we made this happen for ourselves.
20 minutes, an eternity later we started down, the light fading with the day ending but not the event.
Descending was harder for Warren then the rest of us. He asked no quarter and he accepted the help that was offered. Rock climbing was something that he would have never attempted by himself was made to us as we make our way down. The mind was willing but his legs were uncooperative. Successfully we reached the water's edge with a look back to savor the accomplishment, a small let down that a challenge was met and overcome.
Warren pushed through his boundaries and moved them out of eye sight. We created a supper of steak and condiments. The ravenous appetite enhanced the taste of the meal. The music continued.
Peter appeared after supper with a surprise for all of us. He had brought the "wish box" from our evening course that we had participated in a year and half ago. In the box were the writings from each of us at the course, responding to questions posed by the facilitators. The exercise required us to write and explore a desired lifestyle, mate, residence along with our fears and wishes. In reading the the words on the boat late in the evening darkness, after a physical challenging day, the discussion was retrospective and soft. In some areas we had achieved our wishes and in others we were still far away. Warren admitted that mountain climbing was something he would never try but had gone through that barrier earlier in the day. Sky diving was the other area that was not to be considered.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
The slide rope
There were no takers.
We left the dock and moved through the passage and into the strait under diesel power. A simple task at slack tide, but performed with skill by Chris and the crew. Because of a lack of wind we motored down the inlet to the sounds of African tunes emanating from the CD players' 8 speakers.
Helicopter logging on the mountain slopes held our interest as we proceeded up the inlet for an hour and a half. Narrow inlet, high cliffs of granite and age old stone, trees slender and tall, been there forever, it seems, and will still be there when we are not.
Helicoptor logging pricing out a $11,000 per hour, the value of the forest harvest to support such costs is unbelievable.
We arrived at Chatterbox Falls and secured the vessel at the far end of the moorings, with other boats already secured for the night. Small discussions took place amoung the crews and skippers of the docked boats. Legs were stretched and the view taken in up close by all those that were present.
Tonnes of water rushing over the rock precipice four thousand feet above, cascading down the mountain to find and fill the inlet with the majestic roar that only water can make. Always there but never the same, in contrast to the repetitous sound of the logging helicopters.
We settled in for the night, supper, delicious as always cooked by Rob and Warren made perfect with a beer and tea.
A discussion ensued in the night darkening by those gathered about "state 0f mind", co-dependency and decision making.
Jeff initiated a conversation with Willy and his friend, a skipper and his mate of an adjoining boat which turns into a lively discussion about conflicting social orders and philosophies. Jeff takes the bait, rises to the challenge and is off into a lively conversation with Willy's friend. Willy is more interested in our boat, his friend, in the social order of the world.
Wednesday morning, the falls creating the music of the spot, cool and damp, clouds hanging in the air till the sun starts working its magic. Bountiful breakfast starting with the baked cinamin buns. Trips to the falls to take pictures and record the moment. We reached an agreement to climb to the cabin by the water fall near the top of the mountain.
We left the dock and moved through the passage and into the strait under diesel power. A simple task at slack tide, but performed with skill by Chris and the crew. Because of a lack of wind we motored down the inlet to the sounds of African tunes emanating from the CD players' 8 speakers.
Helicopter logging on the mountain slopes held our interest as we proceeded up the inlet for an hour and a half. Narrow inlet, high cliffs of granite and age old stone, trees slender and tall, been there forever, it seems, and will still be there when we are not.
Helicoptor logging pricing out a $11,000 per hour, the value of the forest harvest to support such costs is unbelievable.
We arrived at Chatterbox Falls and secured the vessel at the far end of the moorings, with other boats already secured for the night. Small discussions took place amoung the crews and skippers of the docked boats. Legs were stretched and the view taken in up close by all those that were present.
Tonnes of water rushing over the rock precipice four thousand feet above, cascading down the mountain to find and fill the inlet with the majestic roar that only water can make. Always there but never the same, in contrast to the repetitous sound of the logging helicopters.
We settled in for the night, supper, delicious as always cooked by Rob and Warren made perfect with a beer and tea.
A discussion ensued in the night darkening by those gathered about "state 0f mind", co-dependency and decision making.
Jeff initiated a conversation with Willy and his friend, a skipper and his mate of an adjoining boat which turns into a lively discussion about conflicting social orders and philosophies. Jeff takes the bait, rises to the challenge and is off into a lively conversation with Willy's friend. Willy is more interested in our boat, his friend, in the social order of the world.
Wednesday morning, the falls creating the music of the spot, cool and damp, clouds hanging in the air till the sun starts working its magic. Bountiful breakfast starting with the baked cinamin buns. Trips to the falls to take pictures and record the moment. We reached an agreement to climb to the cabin by the water fall near the top of the mountain.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
The Sailing Trip
Jeff, Warren, Peter and Rob
Saturday, pre dawn, I picked up Warren at his home, loaded the bags and motored on to Jeff's place. We drove around looking for a coffee shop, none to be found except Macdonald's, which we passed on. We arrived at Jeff's place at 6.30 a.m. Jeff was still packing and finishing off some business. He delivered his son's bike to his ex-wife's place, while Warren and I waited for Peter to arrive. Mozart was playing on the CD unit in the clear, warm star lit night. The city lights were still on trying to compete with the stars in the autumn sky. The freeway in the valley was starting to get busy with early morning traffic.
We all boarded the plane after securing the SUV in the airport parking lot. The flight to Vancouver was quick and smooth; seated seperately, we were all absorbed in our own thoughts. Waiting time, for our connecting flight, of an hour and a half was pleasant. We had a light discussion amoung ourselves between the phone calls by Warren and Jeff.
Jeff was far away after he returned from his calls. His thoughts were on the upcoming week at sea or perhaps of the two women that were back at home.
Consideration was given to the absence of Jim and Everett.
The discussion drifted from work, to jobs and to the feelings of the relationships with the women in our lives.
Victoria, B.C. - We picked up a Nissan Forerunner for the drive to Comox. The unit was switched from a 7 passenger Caravan at the last moment by the rental company. If we had all been on the trip, there would not have been enough room for us and our luggage. The switch was not a problem and we all took it as only "small stuff".
We stopped for lunch at the Malahot Cafe' overlooking a small bay beside the highway. Food was superb, service was excellent. We are getting a little excited about the coming week of sailing; along with starting to relax. The view was magnificent, Warren made mention of a hawk that was circling on the wind currents. Continuing on, Rob was driving, Warren, Jeff and Peter dozed during the trip north. I made sure that we stopped in Nanaimo for ice cream and donuts for the "little boys" in us.
We arrived in Courtenay in the late afternoon, stretched our legs and found the yacht club office. After boarding the 45 foot yacht, Jeff, as captain, took in the briefing and was advised by the staff on the operation of the vessel. During this time, Warren, Peter and I went out for provisions for the week. After everything was stored on board and secured we had supper at the local pub. The weather was clear and warm with no wind to speak of. Everyone had a sleepless night in anticipation of the week to come.
During the evening there was some discussion between Jeff and Warren on the decision making process - re: codependent relationships-- they both brought information with them to read about these situations.
Sunday
The bright water was calm, the sky sunny with no wind to disturb the water's surface. Jeff took us out under diesel power. From dawn he had studied the charts, weather forcasts, currents and water depths to ensure that our departure was uneventful and precise. The luxery of the vessel is unequaled to anything I have ever seen, radar, GPS, depth sensors, auto steer and cruise control plus numerous navigational systems that could be called into play if we could just understand how to activate them. Electric winches, a stereo system with 8 above deck speakers completed the audio excellence and handling ease of this vessel. Head way was made with the objective to anchor at Harmony Islands in the evening, a distance of approx. 30 miles east of Comox, in the interior of B.C.
The wind was so calm that we used the diesel motor to move across the stait to our destination. The wilderness, trees, rugged terrain and the natural beauty engulfed us as we slipped silently over the waves. Jim and Everett became our auto pilots as we made way.
Harmony Islands, three little islands, were located about 100 yards from the mainland. Rock bottem, poor anchor holds, forced us to tie down to the mainland trees to supplement the anchors we set out. We moored and drank to the tranquility of the space. Not a ripple on the water except for the movement made by the Loons, a seagull, seals and otters. I made supper with the aid of Peter. A bottle of wine complimented the fine supper, we ate and just sat. As time passed we watched the moon come up, the stillness of the water allowed us see the stars in the water. We experienced a surreal moment in life.
Breakfast at 7 a.m.
Jeff slept lightly because of the anchor dragging on the rock bottem and the tide going out. Rob cooked, the guys enjoyed the food with great relish and embellished comments. The baked cinamon buns were the highlite of the morning feast. We weighed anchor and motored up to Princess Louise Sound, the winds were so light that sailing was impractical, we let Jim and Everett hold our course. Warren suggested minor steering corrections when necessary.
We arrived at the shuttered water side hotel in mid-afternoon, motored past and checked out the helicopter station down the coast for a moment. Helicopter pad, crew station and refueling facilities for the logging crew that was working down the coast.
Jeff steered the yacht back to the hotel dock to check out the channel and passage into the inlet. Jeff's need to precise and prepared required him to demand a better look to make the correct tidal decisions regarding entry and movement throught the inlet. To stretch our legs, we climbed up to the chair lift mounted on the side of the hill. The childrens' camp included a slide rope to rocket down the rope into the water. The ride looked heart stopping but character building. We looked at each other as the suggestion was put forward for one of us to test it out.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
The Reason for Kids
Dana, my son, and his girlfriend Linda have flown into town for a wedding. Dana's mom has arranged for the tickets and I have rented them a car for transportation. It is with great joy and emotion that I see him again after a year apart. He has certainly grown both intellectually and in confidence. Linda, his lady, is a very pleasant woman; she brings to him a balance and a counterpoint to his beliefs. Quick and funny, she participates in the energy that is created by the two brothers and the father. Her nervousness at meeting the family is only slightly apparent. They make a nice couple. Cory is noticeably excited to have his brother back in his life, if only for a few days. I am pleased to note that they do love each other. Cory made a point of giving Dana an extra hug when they met. This closeness is not something that I shared with my brothers, perhaps because of the age difference or just the lack of role models. Lillian, my sister, was the only example of such emotion, but with her being in a distant city, her influence was not noticable, except when I went to visit her. I love Dana's "cool big city look".
I talked with the group about Dana spending the weekend in town, after not having seen him for a year, and how emotional it was for me. I went on the say that when he left, I missed him very much. I was sad for several days. I feel that he is continueing to grow into a very nice young man.
I also shared, with the group my frustration with my friend's Susan's bitchiness and confusion about retirement, working, not working, how much and why?? I shared with them how she became quite frustrated with my answers and views around the subject. I was at a loss as to her mind set and the reasons behind it.
Jim's lack of participation in the group is of concern to us all. His decision to look for answers in the scripture of a fringe "new religion" church is disturbing. We wonder if he has given his children up for adoption to his ex-wife and her husband (to make things easier) as he said he was considering? A repeat of his own history -- his father put him in a monastary when Jim was 8 years old.
Jim's closeness to Cathy, the current lady in his life, remains a mystery to us. As she gets more intense, he retreats. When he is feeling abandoned and wants to feel needed, Jim moves toward Cathy and she retreats- a pattern that plays itself over and over.
The State of being, not doing. We are human-beings, not human-doers as Peter has commented. By doing all the time, we prevent the mind and emotions from entering the state of being. With the result, that the mind is never able to achieve the understanding and revelations that comes in a quiet state. This achievement is obtained in isolation with oneself or in the presence of one or more. Just a thought for now.
Bill, someone I associate with in the work world, would benefit from our group.
This begs the question of -
the size of the group (6 is the maximum to have with only one discussion going on at any time)
the realization that each of us has been to see Dr. Joe before we participated in the group,
whether Bill would want to be involved with us.
Certainly his willingness to share, with me, his feelings, thoughts and emotions is an indication that he has an understanding that communication is necessary to get through this life.
Fred and Susan, my life long friends, are making great strides in getting to know each other by sharing their feelings, although each is reinforcing their long held beliefs in their relationship. Fred, in some ways, is getting more controlling in his beliefs and visions on how things are to be done. He feels that his lack of money to be successful and sensitive is a notable point in their discussions. Susan is becoming aware and is commenting on her disatisfaction on their different views of their relationship.
Sept.
Warren, Peter and I are in attendance. Everett is busy with his work and life. No one has heard from Jim. Jeff is with his kids this week.
Warren is mourning the passing away of his neighbor. She was an elderly lady who would look after his house when he was away, has passed away. At 82, of Scottish descent, she had moved out of her home in 1997 into a senior citizens' residence. Still active, she slipped and fell, breaking her hip while attending the horse races at the local track. Her frail physical condition did not allow her to recover from the accident. After several heart attacks and related ailments, she passed away. Warren had visited her several times while she was at the hospital. Sally accompanied him on several occasions. He talked of his feeling of loss when Edna passed away. The funeral is in several days.
Warren has spent the last week taking care of himself with walks, biking and swimming. His one walk with Sally turned out to be a two hour march with Sally forging ahead at the end of the walk and having to wait while he caught up. He managed to stop for a small conversation with a woman with a dog, which created a great amount of displeasure in Sally.
Peter shared with us the encounter he had with a coworker. On this occasion, the coworker made a comment regarding Peter's ability to work when he wanted too, (he is a consultant) travel and be comfortable with his life. Peter was overwhelmed with an angry emotion and made it clear that he would not put up with such comments. Peter was quite concerned that he had reacted so emotionally and expressed the emotions so quickly. He was clear that in telling his co-worker that he did not feel his comments were acceptable and would not allow any further questioning or statements about his employment. Peter did not make it personal; he made no derogatory personal statements or allegations. We felt that he had handled it extremely well; normally he would have made a flippant return comment and been uneasy for days with not standing up for himself.
Not doing the normal think has made him uncomfortable.
I talked with the group about Dana spending the weekend in town, after not having seen him for a year, and how emotional it was for me. I went on the say that when he left, I missed him very much. I was sad for several days. I feel that he is continueing to grow into a very nice young man.
I also shared, with the group my frustration with my friend's Susan's bitchiness and confusion about retirement, working, not working, how much and why?? I shared with them how she became quite frustrated with my answers and views around the subject. I was at a loss as to her mind set and the reasons behind it.
Jim's lack of participation in the group is of concern to us all. His decision to look for answers in the scripture of a fringe "new religion" church is disturbing. We wonder if he has given his children up for adoption to his ex-wife and her husband (to make things easier) as he said he was considering? A repeat of his own history -- his father put him in a monastary when Jim was 8 years old.
Jim's closeness to Cathy, the current lady in his life, remains a mystery to us. As she gets more intense, he retreats. When he is feeling abandoned and wants to feel needed, Jim moves toward Cathy and she retreats- a pattern that plays itself over and over.
The State of being, not doing. We are human-beings, not human-doers as Peter has commented. By doing all the time, we prevent the mind and emotions from entering the state of being. With the result, that the mind is never able to achieve the understanding and revelations that comes in a quiet state. This achievement is obtained in isolation with oneself or in the presence of one or more. Just a thought for now.
Bill, someone I associate with in the work world, would benefit from our group.
This begs the question of -
the size of the group (6 is the maximum to have with only one discussion going on at any time)
the realization that each of us has been to see Dr. Joe before we participated in the group,
whether Bill would want to be involved with us.
Certainly his willingness to share, with me, his feelings, thoughts and emotions is an indication that he has an understanding that communication is necessary to get through this life.
Fred and Susan, my life long friends, are making great strides in getting to know each other by sharing their feelings, although each is reinforcing their long held beliefs in their relationship. Fred, in some ways, is getting more controlling in his beliefs and visions on how things are to be done. He feels that his lack of money to be successful and sensitive is a notable point in their discussions. Susan is becoming aware and is commenting on her disatisfaction on their different views of their relationship.
Sept.
Warren, Peter and I are in attendance. Everett is busy with his work and life. No one has heard from Jim. Jeff is with his kids this week.
Warren is mourning the passing away of his neighbor. She was an elderly lady who would look after his house when he was away, has passed away. At 82, of Scottish descent, she had moved out of her home in 1997 into a senior citizens' residence. Still active, she slipped and fell, breaking her hip while attending the horse races at the local track. Her frail physical condition did not allow her to recover from the accident. After several heart attacks and related ailments, she passed away. Warren had visited her several times while she was at the hospital. Sally accompanied him on several occasions. He talked of his feeling of loss when Edna passed away. The funeral is in several days.
Warren has spent the last week taking care of himself with walks, biking and swimming. His one walk with Sally turned out to be a two hour march with Sally forging ahead at the end of the walk and having to wait while he caught up. He managed to stop for a small conversation with a woman with a dog, which created a great amount of displeasure in Sally.
Peter shared with us the encounter he had with a coworker. On this occasion, the coworker made a comment regarding Peter's ability to work when he wanted too, (he is a consultant) travel and be comfortable with his life. Peter was overwhelmed with an angry emotion and made it clear that he would not put up with such comments. Peter was quite concerned that he had reacted so emotionally and expressed the emotions so quickly. He was clear that in telling his co-worker that he did not feel his comments were acceptable and would not allow any further questioning or statements about his employment. Peter did not make it personal; he made no derogatory personal statements or allegations. We felt that he had handled it extremely well; normally he would have made a flippant return comment and been uneasy for days with not standing up for himself.
Not doing the normal think has made him uncomfortable.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Daily Humdrum
August, 1999
The group, as a whole, has met sporadically over the last month.
Warren has not been at a meeting for about five weeks. Work in Eastern Canada and Northern Alberta; along with a visit from his relatives from Europe has not allowed him to participate in the weekly group meetings.
Peter has been in contact with him occasionally.
Jeff has been on holidays at his cabin for the last 3 weeks.
Jeff continues to struggle in making a decision on who he wants to be with- Nora or Victoria.
Peter and I(Rob) went out for a barbeque to his place for the group meeting and enjoyed the lake and the pleasant surroundings.
Last week, I was the only one to show up, so I sat back, relaxed and enjoyed the solitude and reviewed my feelings during the past week.
Peter was on holiday with his wife and child in B.C.
Hector sometimes early, did not make an appearanceso I went home for a nap.
Perhaps Jim showed up late as he sometimes does, but I had gone home already.
A thought -he shared with us-Peter had been back to Manitoba- his home- for a 60th year wedding anniversary for his parents in July. Having returned from a very good holiday, he commented that it was the first time that he had gone home as an adult. He had mixed feelings as he visited his old haunts with his wife and children.
Having returned from a very good holiday, he commented that it was the first time he had gone home as an adult.
Jeff continues to struggle in making a decision on whom he wants to be with - Nora or Victoria.
Sept.
The summer is coming to an end and most of the men are in attendence again.
Jim has passed on to Peter, after Peter called, that he would not be going on the sailing trip. He is pleading difficulty between his mother and his brother. This conflict has continued for many years and is an easy out for him.
Everett called from his truck on his way back from Edson, to plead for more time to make a decision on his participation in the trip. He has not resolved that he is worthy of the time that he would spend only on himself. Even if he decides to come along, his head will not be in the correct place. Almost assuredly he is not able to make peace with himself, primarily, and his family secondarily. Of us all, Everett is the one man who most needs this short holiday.
Warren, Peter, Rob and Jeff involved themselves in this Thursday's meeting, with great amounts of information and insight in their lives.
Hector showed up late in the session, after his wife arrived home from work. Her lateness is being used as a control over him.
Warren was comfortable in having taken time for himself during the past 3 weeks of work and business travel. He has spent less time in meeting the needs of others in his presence. His understanding of the workings, (speed and direction) of the clients he is consulting, has become second nature to him. He made the observation that he is able to recognize the ebb and flow of each person's skill and talents a great deal faster than he did before. Warren said he was able to let his clients reach their goals at their own speed rather than forcing them to work at his speed and intensity.
Peter and I have spent the last session; just the two of us have been in attendence, discussing his frustrations with his wife's intensity at work. He understands that he has to be at ease with the situation, rather than have his wife "get it". With our discussion in mind he was able to spend some time with her over the last week, sharing his feelings with her about the situation. He was able to release the guilt that he felt before in disagreeing with his wife's actions. Still supportive, but not accepting the direction she was taking has allowed him to relax and not waste energy on the situation. It has also stopped him from being so sensitive to his co workers' comments about his consulting arrangement.
Jeff is taking the road that he believes holds the answer to his state of seperation. He and Victoria may be moving back in together again. They feel this is necessary to create the stability in their relationship and allow them time to see if the intensity is still there. They would be together at his new home, with her grandmother living at Victoria's home and office. The mood aand anxiety levels of the children have lowered dramatically with the grandmother having been in Europe since May, she is to return in Oct. When she returns, her influence will be felt again, to test the resolve of he and his wife.
The group, as a whole, has met sporadically over the last month.
Warren has not been at a meeting for about five weeks. Work in Eastern Canada and Northern Alberta; along with a visit from his relatives from Europe has not allowed him to participate in the weekly group meetings.
Peter has been in contact with him occasionally.
Jeff has been on holidays at his cabin for the last 3 weeks.
Jeff continues to struggle in making a decision on who he wants to be with- Nora or Victoria.
Peter and I(Rob) went out for a barbeque to his place for the group meeting and enjoyed the lake and the pleasant surroundings.
Last week, I was the only one to show up, so I sat back, relaxed and enjoyed the solitude and reviewed my feelings during the past week.
Peter was on holiday with his wife and child in B.C.
Hector sometimes early, did not make an appearanceso I went home for a nap.
Perhaps Jim showed up late as he sometimes does, but I had gone home already.
A thought -he shared with us-Peter had been back to Manitoba- his home- for a 60th year wedding anniversary for his parents in July. Having returned from a very good holiday, he commented that it was the first time that he had gone home as an adult. He had mixed feelings as he visited his old haunts with his wife and children.
Having returned from a very good holiday, he commented that it was the first time he had gone home as an adult.
Jeff continues to struggle in making a decision on whom he wants to be with - Nora or Victoria.
Sept.
The summer is coming to an end and most of the men are in attendence again.
Jim has passed on to Peter, after Peter called, that he would not be going on the sailing trip. He is pleading difficulty between his mother and his brother. This conflict has continued for many years and is an easy out for him.
Everett called from his truck on his way back from Edson, to plead for more time to make a decision on his participation in the trip. He has not resolved that he is worthy of the time that he would spend only on himself. Even if he decides to come along, his head will not be in the correct place. Almost assuredly he is not able to make peace with himself, primarily, and his family secondarily. Of us all, Everett is the one man who most needs this short holiday.
Warren, Peter, Rob and Jeff involved themselves in this Thursday's meeting, with great amounts of information and insight in their lives.
Hector showed up late in the session, after his wife arrived home from work. Her lateness is being used as a control over him.
Warren was comfortable in having taken time for himself during the past 3 weeks of work and business travel. He has spent less time in meeting the needs of others in his presence. His understanding of the workings, (speed and direction) of the clients he is consulting, has become second nature to him. He made the observation that he is able to recognize the ebb and flow of each person's skill and talents a great deal faster than he did before. Warren said he was able to let his clients reach their goals at their own speed rather than forcing them to work at his speed and intensity.
Peter and I have spent the last session; just the two of us have been in attendence, discussing his frustrations with his wife's intensity at work. He understands that he has to be at ease with the situation, rather than have his wife "get it". With our discussion in mind he was able to spend some time with her over the last week, sharing his feelings with her about the situation. He was able to release the guilt that he felt before in disagreeing with his wife's actions. Still supportive, but not accepting the direction she was taking has allowed him to relax and not waste energy on the situation. It has also stopped him from being so sensitive to his co workers' comments about his consulting arrangement.
Jeff is taking the road that he believes holds the answer to his state of seperation. He and Victoria may be moving back in together again. They feel this is necessary to create the stability in their relationship and allow them time to see if the intensity is still there. They would be together at his new home, with her grandmother living at Victoria's home and office. The mood aand anxiety levels of the children have lowered dramatically with the grandmother having been in Europe since May, she is to return in Oct. When she returns, her influence will be felt again, to test the resolve of he and his wife.
